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  1.   Click here to go to the next staff post in this thread.   #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerryBubbleBlast View Post
    Not sure if this is the "right" type of question to ask, but have you ever gotten inspiration for anything from your schizophrenia? Apart from writing your blog that is, although I'm not sure that can be classed as inspiration.
    Yes, I have several times tried to draw my visual hallucinations but I have difficulty transferring their forms onto a canvas. I've got many unfinished drawings that started as a result of a delusion, hallucination, or difficulty coping with them.

  2. #12
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    How fast can the delusions manifest? Is it like an "on, off switch" where nothing is wrong at one moment just for everything to be wrong the next? Or do they gradually get worse the more you think about them? Is it the same for when they subside, if they ever dissapear completely or if there's always a lingering "what if" thought which you can't completely deny, just in case it actually might be true (for some reason)?
    "An artist who can’t take constructive critique on their work is only hurting themselves and their potential.
    Conversely, and artist that can’t communicate a critique in a constructive way isn’t helping anybody."
    "It's perfectly fine to draw things any way you want. However you should always ask yourself; is it believable?"
    "You must be allowed to be a bit weird sometimes. Otherwise you're not normal."

  3.   Click here to go to the next staff post in this thread.   #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerryBubbleBlast View Post
    How fast can the delusions manifest? Is it like an "on, off switch" where nothing is wrong at one moment just for everything to be wrong the next? Or do they gradually get worse the more you think about them? Is it the same for when they subside, if they ever dissapear completely or if there's always a lingering "what if" thought which you can't completely deny, just in case it actually might be true (for some reason)?
    Delusions can be triggered very, very quickly. It just takes one small thing to happen and suddenly the most bizarre thoughts come to mind. In my post here you can kind of get an idea of how little things make delusions happen. Making eye contact with someone, seeing cars of the same color, and raising my hand in class to speak are three examples. They do gradually get worse the more I think about them, but sometimes I eventually recognize I am delusional and pull myself out of it. Usually when they subside, I don't think about them until they get triggered again. They only really stay in my mind as long as I am in the situation that caused them. If I get myself out of that situation, the delusions usually stop pretty quick.

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    You've mentioned how you cut yourself a few times during particularly severe delusions, but have you ever physically harmed someone other than you? And if not, how do you think you'd react afterwards if you did?

  5.   Click here to go to the next staff post in this thread.   #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ibuuyk View Post
    You've mentioned how you cut yourself a few times during particularly severe delusions, but have you ever physically harmed someone other than you? And if not, how do you think you'd react afterwards if you did?
    I have never harmed anyone else. If I ever did, I'm sure that once I got out of the delusion I'd be massively ashamed and apologetic. It's kind of disturbing, but I don't really hesitate all that much when I'm delusional and think about harming myself. But I've never had a delusion that involves me bringing harm to someone else in order to do something about said delusion.

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    Very interesting. It fascinates me.
    How does it affect your work? Are you able to have a job with this? Or complete an education?

    How does it affect your relationships? I mean the relationships with your boyfriend, parents/family, friends and are you able to make friends easily? (maybe that last one is not very related, I am not sure)

  7.   Click here to go to the next staff post in this thread.   #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by sushy View Post
    Very interesting. It fascinates me.
    How does it affect your work? Are you able to have a job with this? Or complete an education?

    How does it affect your relationships? I mean the relationships with your boyfriend, parents/family, friends and are you able to make friends easily? (maybe that last one is not very related, I am not sure)
    Right now I do not have a job, and am on disability payments. I would like to find a part-time job sometime soon, but I am unsure of how well I will do at this point. School is incredibly difficult, I have not taken an on-campus class at my school for over a year and last semester I dropped both my online classes due to complications from the schizophrenia. I do plan on finishing my bachelor's degree as I only have 21 credit hours left, but that will probably take me at least 3 more years to complete. I probably will not achieve my dream of having a doctorate degree in Art History.

    As for relationships:

    Boyfriend: he's very, very supportive of me, probably the most supportive person I have in my life right now (though I do have a strong support system in general). He is always very willing to help me when my hallucinations scare me and is always willing to help bring me back to reality when I am delusional. I think if anything, me having this disorder has strengthened our relationship rather than weakened it.

    Parents: My parents are divorced, so I'm in a very weird position with them right now. My mom is understanding and supportive, as she has a mental disorder herself (panic disorder). My dad...does not understand it at all and I'll give him credit, this time he's really trying, but for years I've felt he never really wanted to bother getting an idea of what I go through.

    Sisters: Neither of them acknowledge I have this disorder and both refuse to talk to me about it.

    Friends: My friends all care very much, and have been there for me through the tough times. My two best friends are both psychology majors so they know a fair bit about how this disorder works and such. I have not lost any friends since this disorder developed.

    As for making friends, it's not -terribly- difficult, but it's not something I'm very keen on. I took a neuropsych exam in 2014 to see where my strongest and weakest skills are, and I scored "superior" on every verbal communication test, which means that unlike many people with schizophrenia, I can hold a conversation usually quite easily and am better at making myself appear more stable on the outside than I actually am on the inside.

  8. #18
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    Hello! I think it's really cool you're doing this. A lot of people are afraid to ask questions (you don't know who is and isn't comfortable answering them), and a lot of online resources give a very clinical description that doesn't really help anyone understand.

    My question: Do you have any grounding techniques that help break you out of delusions or hallucinations? And have you ever interacted with a hallucination, knowing that it's not real, to see what would happen?
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  9.   This is the last staff post in this thread.   #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by wakor View Post
    Hello! I think it's really cool you're doing this. A lot of people are afraid to ask questions (you don't know who is and isn't comfortable answering them), and a lot of online resources give a very clinical description that doesn't really help anyone understand.

    My question: Do you have any grounding techniques that help break you out of delusions or hallucinations? And have you ever interacted with a hallucination, knowing that it's not real, to see what would happen?
    Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!

    And yes, I have three techniques that I use for both delusions and hallucinations: 1) Sense activation. If I'm visually hallucinating, I'll close my eyes and listen to my favorite band. If I'm having auditory hallucinations, I'll take a warm shower (not too hot, because the answer is not to cause pain, just stimulate the senses enough to be relaxed). The point is to avoid paying attention to hallucinations (or delusions) and focus on the senses that are experiencing something real. 2) Factual observations. I stop paying attention to whatever is causing me problems and just focus on what I see, hear, and feel in my surroundings that is real. For example, I see my cat, I can hear him purring, and I can pet his soft fur. 3) Talk to someone who is grounded in reality. I often ask my boyfriend or my mom questions about things that I am experiencing that I'm not sure are real or not.

    For more info, see this blog post: http://schizotiger.tumblr.com/post/1...nations-282016

    And I have interacted with hallucinations, but I thought they were 100% real at the time. I've punched them, kicked at them, and talked to them to try and get them to leave me alone. Nowadays I'm much better at knowing when I'm hallucinating, and I'm not even that scared of them anymore. I can just casually point at my visual hallucination and say, "Yeah Matt, I'm pretty sure that demon over there is actually a hallucination." and just shrug my shoulders and not really care.

 

 

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