Things I've said to my cat in the last hour:

[wakor]

1. "Are you done ruining everything I love?"
2. "Stop eating your boogers, you freak."
3. "If you take my comb, I WILL kick you out."
4. "Why did you close everything I was working on?!"
5. "Stop licking the butter."
6. "You're a menace."
7. "Stop leaving the goddamn refrigerator open!"

What have you had to yell at your cat for?

[folffairport]

Nothing. He was under my bed for 14 hours, came out, and I opened the door for him to leave. Also, participating in this thread makes me wonder if the whole 'crazy cat person' thing is going to rub off on me.

[kynliod]

You just listed several reasons why I don't have a cat! LOL! I do have a five year old, however, and I say similar things to her. Eating butter straight off the dish is one of those things. And she does leave the fridge open... OMG, am I a cat owner after all?? XD

[Wolf-Bone]

I don't yell at my cat. When she wants my attention, she pretty much asks for it. She's the kind of cat that will try to talk to you in mews and trills. I tell her I love her and that I'm glad she came into my life. I've even told her a few times I wish she could have known my previous cat who passed away last year. That cat, though very loyal and affectionate, was also very aggressive and angry often times and I did yell at her and say mean shit which makes me wonder if pets really do take after their owners. I ended up looking back at the way I treated her sometimes with a lot of regret, especially after she died. But I tried to take this cat as chance to treat a pet better. There's simply nothing she does I'd yell at her for, but she's been like that since she came to me as a scared little week-old kitten who, the story goes, was thrown out of someone's car window and ran into the bushes of a nearby house.

She was kinda just dumped on me and I didn't even know that at the time but the way she looked at me and meowed at me the first time I saw her could have told me that, now that I think about it...

[Eduard]

This is why I am a dog person.

I personally find cats unbearable, rude, and ungrateful.
Except Sphynx Cats, those look utterly alien, or satanic, and that is why I love them.

[folffairport]

This is why I am a dog person.

I personally find cats unbearable, rude, and ungrateful.
Except Sphynx Cats, those look utterly alien, or satanic, and that is why I love them.

Cats domesticated themselves, dogs didn't. Therefore cats live for themselves (as they are only around us for their benefit) and dogs do not because they were domesticated by humans. Google it.

[Agitoho]

Things I've said to our cat in general:

"Stop running around like that."
"What are you meowing about?"
"HEY! Stop that!"
"What's wrong? Are you bored? Where are your toys?"
"You dumb cat."

I hate this cat. Which is weird because I took care of a stray a few years ago. I named him Laon, after a manga character and we'd share subway sandwiches. I often lament that I couldn't take him with me when I moved out because he just up and left. Now we're stuck with our granddaddy of a cat. We can't take him to a shelter because his age would make him getting adopted difficult and as much as we despise how needy he is (honestly he reminds me of my needy ex which is probably why I can't stand him) we don't hate him enough to leave him in a shelter that wouldn't have a problem putting him to sleep simply because he's old. I guess it's more accurate to say I dislike him immensely.

[Noxid]

cats gonna cat

the one livin with me now, I swear it was a carnival barker in a past life because he don't ever shut up. Cats are supposed to be the quiet ones...
he's also thinks he's smarter than me and gets into all kinds of trouble. I "adopted" him about a year ago from a family who had to give up the cat because their kid turned out to have allergies.
Other than being a vindictive noisy asshole who tears open packaged goods, though, he's a real sweetheart.

[Chrysocyon]

"Why are you eating my corn?! You're a carnivore, you can't even digest that!"
"How did you get all the way up the Christmas tree?! Get out of there, you're not an ornament!"
"You have a full bowl of water, stop drinking out of the toilet!"
"You have a full bowl of food, stop eating out of the bag!"
"Wake up, you can't sleep on my tablet, I'm drawing on that. Oh fine, just stay there, see if I care."
"Thank you for getting up. Now can you please stop chewing on my pen while I'm drawing with it?"
Et cetera.

[Dreamline]

Definitely not in the last hour, but a few days ago when I was visiting my dad and brother (The cat's with them). I mostly just call him cat, kitty, and fatty (Which he is! Sorta). I mostly just say any of those three nicknames loudly to get his attention, then I proceed to bug him via petting/picking him up. Heck, I don't even call him by his name (Gizmo).

Our cat's pretty well-behaved, so he doesn't do anything that we would legitimately yell at him for. Though we do tend to move him ourselves if he's somewhere he's not supposed to be.