Looking for Composition Critique/Suggestions

[lorenith]

Hello, I'm looking for some critique and suggestions to improve the composition on this drawing I'm working on. It's currently only in thumbnail form (though I do larger style thumbnails)


The picture is basically a critter fishing in the shade with their mount resting behind them (the "mount" is a larger than life heron). I was going for a restful feeling in the morning or evening.

Since it's only in thumbnail form I can literally redraw it from scratch as many times as I need to before I feel satisfied.

[BerryBubbleBlast]

Nice initial piece you got there. The one thing I can think of straight away is how high up is the "camera" which views the scene? What I mean is the "first horizon" right before the forest makes me think it's looking from higher up in the air, which wouldn't really fit with how you view the characters themselves, in which you'd basically have to stand right in front of them to see them as they are right now. Alternatively there could be a small hill just behind them which would justify the look right now, though the shoreline wouldn't really fit in in that case.

... or am I just misinterpreting the vertical line just to the left of the heron as the shoreline? My point about the view still stands though.

Also mayhap not a composition point, but the line from the fishing rod could be more relaxed and longer, as I guess it's not supposed to actually be shorter than the rod itself, or a stiff extension of it. Unless you just got a fish on the hook mayhap? That would justify it more or less completely.

I hope this is of help as I would love to see how you improve the next image.

[lorenith]

First of all, thankyou very much for the feedback!

I do have a pretty terrible habbit of flattening and rumpling up the perspective all weird. It is meant to be hilly in the background with the shore being at the bottom of a slope. Though I had trouble really visualizing and drawing the shore. I'll probably have my next iteration more from above on the characters, I want to put some focus on the stream, which calls for being seen more like it's being looked down on. I think I'm going to have to visit a body of water and take pictures or do some studies cause I haven't been able to find any good references for shores.

Good catch with the line on the pole though! I've fished before, but the behavior of the line is not something I ever really paid attention to. I'm thinking of giving it a little cork bobber with a feather on it, and I'll definitely give it some slack. (it's not clear in the picture but I am going to have a little fish nibbling at it, though not hooked yet).

I'll be back some time soon with an updated thumbnail!

Thanks again

[lorenith]

Here's take two on this thing, I tried to get make the bank more clearly a bank, and pushed the heron back a bit.

[kittencozy]

I like your first version better. What if you simply shifted the characters to the right side of the image and shifted the camera to a more frontal view? (Like the viewer is seeing the characters from across the lake.)