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  1. #1

    Need critique on an OC im making


  2. #2
    Junior WhiteFox1618's Avatar
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    WhiteFox1618
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    My common sense guideline for clutter goes like this: if you have to draw this character several hundred times, (for a comic, say) are you going to get tired of of all the details after ten or twenty drawings? if so: it's too cluttered, if not, it's fine.

    For the braid: For some reason, I always think braids are particularly suitable for warriors. I'm not familiar with Yu-Gi-Oh, but there's nothing about this character design that looks like it comes from one particular source. Braids show up in so many different works, this doesn't look derivative of any one particular source. My first thought was Greco-Roman art, actually. X3

    Speaking as someone who has done a lot of medieval style fencing, and has an eighteen inch ponytail, I would tie it lower down, closer to the base of the skull or nape of the neck; high up like that, it'll bounce around more, and you end up whipping yourself in the face. FFT X3

    Also: I have a few strands along my hairline that don't quite reach far back enough for my hairband to catch them, and they dangle in my face unless I tuck them behind my ear: they're really annoying. So, the forelock isn't just a yu-gi-oh thing, it's realistic. X3

    Anyway: hope this helps some. Looking good so far. X3

  3. #3
    Last edited by lunaras13; 04-03-2015 at 04:00 AM.

  4. #4
    Regular Bornes's Avatar
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    I can't really comment on the clutter, but I do think you should heavily consider renaming your character.
    Her name comes from Furutsubatto which is what google translate says is the Japanese word for fruit bat
    That is literally "Fruit bat" said in a japanese accent. Unless you're intending for a pun, you should rename your character.

    I'm not fluent in Japanese, but after some googling, I'm assuming that "bat" is a borrowed word from English, and so doesn't have it's own Japanese word. You might want to consider naming your character something like what is listed here if you want something foreign sounding that isn't a direct pun.
    Last edited by Bornes; 04-04-2015 at 04:12 AM.

  5. #5
    I'll keep the name. Even if it is a pun it's a good sounding one. Furu sounds cute and Tsubatto sounds like a proper last name to me.

  6. #6
    I really like this version of your OC. The other one was kind of distracting especially with that piece sticking out of her hair. XD
    Other than that I love her hair style and facial features. Do you have her costume design ready or no? Cause I can actually help you with that. :3 I'm becoming a good OC designer myself when it comes to costume making for the OC's interior designs.
    Also, I got done with my Digital LineArt version of Ratigan if you'd like to see him? I'd say he looks better Digital rather than Traditionally drawn. XD

    Anyways, if you need any help with your OC's I'll be glad to help.

  7. #7
    i have half her costume done.
    Her top is a simple vest like shirt folded over, with long strips of cloth wrapped around her midrift area keeping it all together(looks kind of like a sleeveless kimono)
    She then has a robe like coat that she wears as sleeves and it drapes down from the end of the arm section. If she stretches her arms out it kind of gives a bat wing look.

    cant decide on pants or shoes though

  8. #8
    Senior Eagle GodHeart's Avatar
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    well on the clutter part it looks fine to me. i mean if youre just drawing some minor pictures every now and then up to possibly manga your fine. but if your doing anime then (unless you like drawing her alot) you may need to cut down on the details a littles. but the yu-gi-oh thing looks fine to me. so yeah on that i say that if you dont have to spend $500 on hair gel every week just to get the look then it doesnt look to yu-gi-oh-y to me.
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