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  1. #1
    Rattlesnake Flavored RedSavage's Avatar
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    RedSavage
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    Critique Swap--Chapter for Chapter

    Trying to get back into this writing thing. SO. I will do a straight critique swap. Chapter for chapter. I've only got one at the moment, but there's more incoming. Link for the work is here:

    https://www.weasyl.com/submission/739544/darkworld

    Darkworld is a story about a strong willed woman named Alisa who finds herself in a strange body after death in an even stranger, sunless afterlife. After her friends suffer from fates literally worse than their death, Alisa is dropped off in Darkworld, a purgatory-like establishment between worlds that she slowly comes to realize is a crossroads between different realities populated by 'Afterlifers' like her and a variety of other spooks, haunts, and generally "very, very nasty types indeed". Alisa makes it her goal to find a way out to a place where the sun shines, but realizes she must open a few doors within herself before she can find the one door that will take her where she wants to be.



    *Plot subject to change.

    Also don't be discouraged if someone has already done a chapter review. You can re-review it and I'll still review something of yours.


    ~Red

  2. #2
    Junior meroe1313's Avatar
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    meroe1313
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    I will gladly read your chapter, Red, and here is the first chapter of my novel Island of Mist.

    https://www.weasyl.com/submission/73...st-chapter-one

    "Life has always been easy for Sato, a quiet, sixteen-year-old farmer with casual aspirations of becoming a soldier. He’s heard his neighbors’ second-hand tales of monsters and magic, spawned by the supernatural fog known as the Mist and its debilitating Madness that protects his island home from the outside world. But Sato doesn’t believe those stories... that is until the night of a powerful storm, when Sato’s little sister chases a fairy into the forbidden Fairy’s Forest. There, he discovers the true colonists of the island...

    "Can Sato overcome his fear and doubt and protect his family from the threats he is about to face, or will he be consumed by them?"


    Anyone else who wants to read is welcome to do so. I would appreciate any feedback and critique you have.

  3. #3
    Junior Chiffon's Avatar
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    chiffon
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    I'm so happy to see a seriously-written fantasy piece that isn't about an unlikely amnesiac hero who's the only one who can save the world of generic mythical creatures, I'll do it free. I only have a flash fiction piece uploaded, anyway, and I already know the ending hangs a little.

  4. #4
    Junior meroe1313's Avatar
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    meroe1313
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    There's really no one else who wants to read anything? Come on, don't be shy!

    I re-wrote my first chapter of "Island of Mist." You can see it here >>> https://www.weasyl.com/submission/75...and-of-mist-re

    Anyone who wants to read it and give me a feedback, I would really appreciate it! And I'll gladly read anything you want to show me.

    By the way, thank you RedSavage and Manna for your advice!
    Last edited by meroe1313; 10-19-2014 at 10:59 AM.

  5. #5
    Rattlesnake Flavored RedSavage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meroe1313 View Post
    There's really no one else who wants to read anything? Come on, don't be shy!
    I re-wrote my first chapter of "Island of Mist." You can see it here >>> https://www.weasyl.com/submission/75...and-of-mist-re
    Anyone who wants to read it and give me a feedback, I would really appreciate it! And I'll gladly read anything you want to show me.
    By the way, thank you RedSavage and Manna for your advice!
    And I'm just all---shit. Writer's block. Haha. I'll give it a read. p:

 

 

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