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  Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.   Thread: The limit of humor

  1.   Click here to go to the next staff post in this thread.   #41
    Didn't try, Succeeded Fay V's Avatar



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    Whoa whoa. Let's not take this to a nasty place or start calling people names. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I don't believe anyone in this discussion is on an active campaign to destroy comedy based on their own opinions.

    Honestly, if someone never finds rape jokes funny that's fine for them. They don't have to find things funny based on certain rules. People can just not find things funny. The fact of the matter is currently Rape is a social issue which is much more sensitive than murder, it doesn't have to make rational sense, it is and there are people that can't handle the jokes.

    I'm of the opinion that jokes shouldn't be censored. dark humor has been my own coping mechanism and it's the same for others (not everyone but still). I attempted suicide and make suicide jokes. I was devastated after my cat whom i'd had my entire life died to the point that I couldn't sleep in my own bed for a week for irrational grief reasons, but I still made jokes because it made me feel better. For some people humor is the way to cope. There shouldn't be a "you must have suffered this much to express yourself" rule.

    At the same time others have a right to their feelings. If you make rape jokes in public, or at the company picnic, don't be surprised if no one finds it funny and you're not invited back. Even if I know people that are okay with such jokes, that doesn't mean i'll be fine to visit tiger and tell her a whole slew of rape jokes and expect her to still want to hang around.

  2.   This is the last staff post in this thread.   #42
    Retired Staff Tiger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fibriel Solaer View Post
    I find that very picky and I'll use an example to illustrate why.

    So in a competitive sport, one team is winning 1,000,000:0, and the fans say "Oh man they're just murdering the other team!"

    To most people that's totally okay. But if a fan says "Oh man they're just raping the other team" that's suddenly not okay?

    Because that's ridiculous and incredibly biased. Those are the same thing - utilizing a metaphor that when taken literally isn't humorous and is extremely tragic.
    That use of the word murder is different than the kind of use I am not ok with. That is not making it seem like the concept of murder is entertaining; the word "murder" can be used without saying "you are physically killing/should kill someone". Now if someone said, "Damn, that player sucks, maybe someone outta murder him" that is totally what I am not ok with. and I don't think "rape" is a word that can be used in any other way besides sexual assault.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fibriel Solaer View Post
    Aaaand there you have it. The only reason you object is because now you're the joke. It's totally fine to make fun of everyone's suffering but yours.

    You know what that's called? Narcissism. Comedians are much more likely to target narcissists, so you'd better get off your high horse and suck it up, because you're not special. All of us are the butt of jokes sometime or another and looking for an excuse to make your problem everyone else's problem does not deserve the slightest bit of respect.

    If I find a comedian's jokes completely debase and tasteless, I... don't watch that comedian. I don't and cannot stop him from doing his bit because that isn't my place, and it isn't yours either.

    (P.S. note that the author of the article linked above is a rape victim who is comfortable with tasteful rape jokes.)
    I strongly believe it is not ok to make fun of other peoples' suffering. I have personally not been made fun of for mine but I don't like it when other people are made fun of for the same thing I have gone through. Nor do I like it when people make jokes about things that have caused some people massive suffering. And I don't watch comedians that offend me because, well, they offend me, and if I did, I just would not find their jokes funny. In regard's to Manna's link, I wasn't entertained by the jokes but it wasn't blatantly offensive so I wasn't bothered by it.

    And if the author is a rape victim and is comfortable with rape jokes, that's totally fine. as can be seen with this thread, everyone is comfortable with different things. if she is ok with that kind of humor, there's nothing wrong with that. But everyone is also entitled to have their own sense of humor. Just because one person is fine with a joke doesn't mean another person must be ok with it, too.
    Last edited by Tiger; 09-22-2014 at 02:33 PM.

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger View Post
    And if the author is a rape victim and is comfortable with rape jokes, that's totally fine. as can be seen with this thread, everyone is comfortable with different things. if she is ok with that kind of humor, there's nothing wrong with that. But everyone is also entitled to have their own sense of humor. Just because one person is fine with a joke doesn't mean another person must be ok with it, too.
    If I may add on this post

    There are quite a few victims of rape who choose to cope via jokes or fetishization. A victim or rape may choose, as Tiger's example, to publish a book with rape as a subject, or even so far as to write a dark comedy about rape

    Even in these cases tho it's important to be responsible and understand that not every victim is coping in the same way and not every person ingesting your media is going to come to the same conclusions you are. Joking about rape is the kind of thing to be done privately, if that's what you're comfortable with. On a public forum it can have the adverse effect of disempowering other victims (rape culture etc), which your own victimhood isn't really an excuse for P:

  4. #44
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    Even so, the stigmatization of the discussion of rape in the first place may also contribute to victims being afraid of bringing up the topic in the first place out of fear of castigation for trying to cope with it in their own way, such as through humor.

    So that's a two way street.

    And how does one ascertain whether or not it's an okay subject to bring up in private discussion with someone?
    We all understand what topics are generally okay for discussion on a public forum, but when it gets to private conversation where more intimate details can be exchanged, the potential for offense may be greater due to the statements being viewed as a breach of social norms or a downplaying of one's own experiences, or the experience of someone close to the reader or recipient of the written joke, especially when the context of the story or the experiences of the individual writing or communicating the joke cannot be readily understood by the reader themselves.

    I mean, there could be a system of subject tags or something in place on a website, to supplement "NSFW" or "Controversy" tags for a thread title that may give the reader an idea about what will be discussed in the thread and whether it will be from a serious or comedic perspective, but people could always miss the memo, and there are plenty of stupid people who don't even read the rules threads before they start tossing their textual diarrhea across the forum.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay V View Post
    Whoa whoa. Let's not take this to a nasty place or start calling people names.
    But its funny. Don't be such a prude.

  6. #46
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    I know numerous people who have been raped, I've been on the path to suicide several times and I have lost close friends and relatives, one or two well before their time. Hell, even my cousin had a stillborn baby and it devastated her. Half my family is pious and faithful, and I carry an illness that could trigger cancer at the drop of a hat.

    I've been closer to some of these issues than others, granted. Nonetheless, I can still find humour in each and every one of these topics. Why? How? Easily. I refuse to let life destroy my sense of fun, and as a result I have developed an ability to numb pain most of the time. Seeing your friends or family break down while they share their bad experience is not easy, it's quite devastating in face and hits you with a feeling of helplessness, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let those feelings keep me down every time I'm reminded of them.

    Like Fay said, a joke is a joke as long as it is only on the subject. When it turns to specific people, it becomes an insult and is no longer in any way funny. And again, it quite often presents a valid coping mechanism.

    So I can make a dead baby joke despite the image of my stillborn second cousin. And I can make a cancer joke even though it's probably what will kill me. I can make religious jokes even though it pisses off half my family. And that's that.


    Actually that last one is hilarious, causing offense be damned.
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  7. #47
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    Tonight I thought I had rabies (a nurse telling me to go to the hospital within the next 4 hours didn't help), so I was joking about me dying of rabies, while having a panic attack about dying of rabies.
    The mind works in mysterious ways.

  8. #48
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    I think some jokes are okay than others, but there are limits to what those jokes can be, what may be funny to you, won't be to others, and that is one thing people should think about most.

    I personally don't find it okay to joke about past tragedy events. Jokes about rape…. ehh… kinda iffy on that one… if it's done in a friendly comical way then yes I guess it might be okay?

    There are some things that shouldn't be joked about I personally find particularly to be distasteful on certain subjects.

  9. #49
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    I believe that nothing is sacred when it comes to jokes. Laughing and joking is one of the best ways to deal with all the fucked up shit in the world. Just let go and have a chuckle, I'm sure you'll have a much longer, happier life that way. I can't imagine how laborious it must be to walk around being constantly offended by jokes of a certain subject matter.
    Yeah? well, y'know...that's just like, your opinion, man.

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  10. #50
    Even in these cases tho it's important to be responsible and understand that not every victim is coping in the same way and not every person ingesting your media is going to come to the same conclusions you are. Joking about rape is the kind of thing to be done privately, if that's what you're comfortable with. On a public forum it can have the adverse effect of disempowering other victims (rape culture etc), which your own victimhood isn't really an excuse for P:
    Oh geez get a loada this guy here. It's no one's responsibility to censor for fear of insult or offense. Go back to Sweden if you want that kind of society.
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