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  1. #1
    Junior darkkyothepsycho's Avatar
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    Comic Critique Please!

    A few months ago, I came here for critique help. Now that I have improved, I would love another few critiques!

    Last time I asked for a critique, I was on page 2 on my comic. Now I am working on page 6 (AMAZING updating!), with page 5 being the latest released. Here it is on DeviantArt, in full HD glory:
    http://stabilizeddarkkyo.deviantart....ge-5-442061455

    Any tips on coloring, lighting, details, paneling, dialogue, anatomy, or the like? Or maybe just some things that'll enhance it to make it go from okay to great? Tips? If so, please help!

  2. #2
    Better lights and darks since you haven't given a outline to the BG, it looks like someone pasted it there but it doesn't really blend of belong.

    some practice with anatomy

    try shading without the use of black, and using only greys to darken areas makes it look very flat

    you could also try cleaning up your line work to give a cleaner more finished look.

  3. #3
    Junior darkkyothepsycho's Avatar
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    In this page, I shaded with the color similar to the girl's brown hair(darker version of the wallpaper's colors), set on multiply, along with pink, pale yellows, and a tiny bit of blues here and there to shade, not black. I kept the colors very saturated to try to make the page look more lively, plus it's more realistic than greys. I did that because I received the same tip last time I came here, plus it looks better anyways.
    Last edited by darkkyothepsycho; 04-03-2014 at 07:26 PM.

  4. #4
    Regular Zombimatic's Avatar
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    Okay, i'll go and comment on what I saw, then!

    On the story (if you don't plan on changing it, don't read that part)
    The idea is interresting, but I think an introduction to the universe would have been better. Your comic should be appealing to those who have never played (or seen) pokemon, and this look a little confusing for someone who don't know the thing. I know, maybe you're not aiming to create a comic you want to sell, and perhap you're doing this just for pokemon fans, but it's always a plus to win views from people who are not in the fandom. Better have comments "wow, I don't know this fandom but the art/story is great!" than "OMG ITS POKEMON XD +FAV", no?

    The art could use a little practice, but I don't worry about it, your composition is okay, the actions are clear, and you can see the difference between the characters (personnality and physical) the backgrounds could be more detailed, and the lightings less "random", sometime I think it's better to not put shadows at all than to create random shadows just for the sake of putting shadows (flat colors may look more clear to look at) of course, it's a technique. The best is to make your comic easy to understand. The lights and shadows are supposed to be an information, more than a pretty thing to cover up drawing mistakes.

    Your lines are a little bit shaky, I don't really mind (as MY lines are shaky) but it could be a little more precise, less rushed, you see? Maybe you are doing the lines too fast, or maybe you need to try to make more precise lines.

    You've improved a lot, and I admire people who make webcomic/comics it takes a long time to do!

    Hope I helped

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by darkkyothepsycho View Post
    In this page, I shaded with the color similar to the girl's brown hair(darker version of the wallpaper's colors), set on multiply, along with pink, pale yellows, and a tiny bit of blues here and there to shade, not black. I kept the colors very saturated to try to make the page look more lively, plus it's more realistic than greys. I did that because I received the same tip last time I came here, plus it looks better anyways.

    Doing it with just the hair isn't going to solve the issue overall

  6. #6
    Junior darkkyothepsycho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammacha View Post
    Doing it with just the hair isn't going to solve the issue overall
    I don't really wanna start an argument, but all those colors were set on multiply and used throughout the entire picture, from the shading on the walls, Chikorita, faces, and everything. It might have been the pale yellow layer I put over everything that makes some of the colors seem muted. I dunno, but I expected the opposite result, colors becoming brighter. But having colorblindness doesn't help I guess, even when you make sure everything has high saturation when shading. I can't tell what everyone else sees it as.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by darkkyothepsycho View Post
    I don't really wanna start an argument, but all those colors were set on multiply and used throughout the entire picture, from the shading on the walls, Chikorita, faces, and everything. It might have been the pale yellow layer I put over everything that makes some of the colors seem muted. I dunno, but I expected the opposite result, colors becoming brighter. But having colorblindness doesn't help I guess, even when you make sure everything has high saturation when shading. I can't tell what everyone else sees it as.
    I have no idea how you would see things either, but I dont really think that relying on the computer to choose the correct tone each time is going to work well. You need to learn how to mix and choose the correct colour rather then that, It comes out looking all grey and black on my end. The hair looks ok but a lot of it seems quite flat looking. try using a proper colour wheel instead of multiply. It would help.

  8. #8
    Shading takes some practice. For the guys hair, try a dark orange or a dark red for shading.

    The person in the purple top, their pants have no black outline, but everything else does, and in the last panel they have black outlines for their pants. That inconsistency is noticeable, so try to keep one style throughout the page. You can always change that later. The same person also has a funky hand going on when picking up the pokeball. Practice hands some more picking up objects. It's hard to get the fingers to look like they're bending without actually breaking, but you'll get there!

    Those are the things that stick out to me the most, the rest will get better with time I'm sure.

    For blonde-type hairs, notice how the darker areas look almost like skin tones: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Mediev...ock6-318708049
    Look up some hair colors to see how the darker areas look. It helps a lot.
    Last edited by insanejoker; 04-06-2014 at 12:43 AM.

  9. #9
    Junior darkkyothepsycho's Avatar
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    Took your advice and painted something unrelated to the comic. I tried shading with medium-dark violet, and this ended up as the result: http://stabilizeddarkkyo.deviantart....dise-445517072
    :'}

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by insanejoker View Post
    Shading takes some practice. For the guys hair, try a dark orange or a dark red for shading.

    The person in the purple top, their pants have no black outline, but everything else does, and in the last panel they have black outlines for their pants. That inconsistency is noticeable, so try to keep one style throughout the page. You can always change that later. The same person also has a funky hand going on when picking up the pokeball. Practice hands some more picking up objects. It's hard to get the fingers to look like they're bending without actually breaking, but you'll get there!

    Those are the things that stick out to me the most, the rest will get better with time I'm sure.

    For blonde-type hairs, notice how the darker areas look almost like skin tones: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Mediev...ock6-318708049
    Look up some hair colors to see how the darker areas look. It helps a lot.
    Thanks! I'll do just that! And thanks for linking me an example!
    But btw, thatdudeisalady.
    Yeah, weird, right? Well, with her long hair (which she literally had about 2 hours before, and cut while on a plane to Johto, thus the weird, messy mohawk style) she looks rather feminine. Just drew her normally, erased her mohawk, and drew on her long hair style. Strange how hair changes a lot visually about a person. Plus, it looks like she's sucking in her cheeks nonstop, which doesn't help her femininity.

  10. #10
    That looks much better and a lot less "flat" then the comic colouring.

 

 

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