Social Anxiety

[Fennic]

Hi Icy, I completely understand how you feel, i've been terrified for 5 years now. (I had to count that, and boy that made me feel worse) I'm terrified of the world in general, I can't go out without my fianceé or mum being with me (I'm in my mid 20's it feels rediclious) I guess thats why I clicked here, to see how others are coping with it. I think I'm only getting worse really, i've been out the house maybe 4 times since August last year.

[Rory]

I'm genuinely curious, how is it that people here who suffer from severe social anxiety have boyfriends, girlfriends, or even fiancees/partners? The only reason I can come up with so far is that maybe it's easier to establish deeper connections with a single individual, than it is for basic ones with various strangers and such?

[MEEHOO]

Though I do have social anxiety its not quite as extreme as some of you.
The problem for me is when I need to speak to or in front of a group I simply can't.
If im talking to a single person in a room with no one else il be shy at first but il quickly become more confident . If someone else was in the room id be afraid to speak.

Just being in public makes me nervous especially if im alone and what makes it worse is when people don't understand and think saying "you have to learn to speak up" or something similar cures it instantly .

It does impact my life quite heavily , I really enjoy talking to people its just difficult I know one of you suggested therapy or something but to be honest I wouldn't even know where to start.

[Tiido]

Working with customers at my old job has got me a whole lot less nervous when meeting people in person, though it is still somewhat scary to me. Internet makes it all a whole lot easier haha.

[TheLexicon]

I don't have social anxiety. I just remain silent in groups, stay away from crowded places, get awkward and then paranoid about other's thoughts, and get so nervous with friends/people I haven't known long/gotten used to I cannot even be near them.

[irick]

I really have a hard time breaking the ice with new people. It takes me a long time for me to feel comfortable with my understanding of the social conventions for any group. I have two modes: Formal and SubCultured. Social conventions are kinda difficult for me to grok, it helps a lot if I know someone's interests are as in depth as my own.

I can socialise with D&D groups, Hacker groups, Furries, Martial artists historians with little issue. Through text I feel much more confident, though in person I can get there. It just takes longer than online.

[Fennic]

I'm genuinely curious, how is it that people here who suffer from severe social anxiety have boyfriends, girlfriends, or even fiancees/partners? The only reason I can come up with so far is that maybe it's easier to establish deeper connections with a single individual, than it is for basic ones with various strangers and such?

I can explain that for my case at least. I've been like this prior to meeting him, but I wasn't so bad as I am now. I do find I can bond with 1 - 2 people and could only really say I've only got 3 - 4 real friends or so whom are all online which makes interacting 10x easier for me.

[Gamedog]

I'm genuinely curious, how is it that people here who suffer from severe social anxiety have boyfriends, girlfriends, or even fiancees/partners? The only reason I can come up with so far is that maybe it's easier to establish deeper connections with a single individual, than it is for basic ones with various strangers and such?

Maybe some have ong-distance relationships

& yes it is wway way way easier to stick to one or two people. I have three people who are very close to me: my dad, my sister, and my boyfriend.. that's all.

[AineCleine]

I don´t suffer from social anxiety but I sincerely prefer to stay away from really crowded places (like extremely crowded) and I just stay quiet in groups, classes and stuff most of the time. I just talk when I can interrupt in a topic I know about or when I know the answer of something... or just joking with people I know.

[piñardilla]

The best "cure" for social anxiety is to take a daring plunge, I've learned. I couldn't order my own food, let alone drive anywhere by myself, until I got a wild hair up my ass and hopped on a plain to New Mexico to meet an online friend. I nearly broke down into tears and ran off the plane when I was boarding. The worst part was, I must've been somewhere near the engine or my hearing issue is really that awful, because I had a girl sitting next to me who kept talking to me but I couldn't understand a thing she said and was slowly dying inside. Then when I was with the friend and his mom, I spilled ice cream all over myself like a toddler the first day.
But in the end it all turned out to be for my own good. They took me many places and I was forced to interact and live amongst strangers for a week. It did wonders.
I'd have to say you gotta be careful about it though. I tried to do the same thing with a different online friend, totally different result. I was on pins and needles the whole time, and basically melted into her couch, not saying much if anything at all to anyone. It really depends heavily on your relationship with the person and the amount of planning you put into it.

While a sudden flight to another state is rather extreme, I do agree with this approach. I had huge introversion issues myself that I've mostly overcome through just forcing myself into social situations.