Social Anxiety

[Icy Jellyfish]

Social Anxiety: My Story & How to Cope

Hello, welcome.
I'm going to guess you clicked here because you have social anxiety yourself or you know of someone who does or you were just curious.
Let me start by saying my story.
I was diagnosed with Severe Social Anxiety. I ended up dropping out in the middle of tenth grade. It was too hard for me to force myself to get up everyday and go. No one really understood or could relate. It's also very hard for me to verbalize how I feel.
However I am going to school for pet grooming so that's a step up.
However I still find it difficult to even talk to people. Talking to people in person, on the phone, even online like this.
Even typing this up and then posting it is going to be difficult for me.
When I was first starting to have difficulties in social situations, namely school, whenever I would tell someone what I was feeling, I was ignored. Eventually I just stopped talking. I'd just shut down, stop talking, I wouldn't do anything.
I eventually got sent to a different school, and that was going good for about two years then it hit the fan so to speak in tenth grade.

How to Cope

I'm not a doctor or anything, but here's what has helped me a little so far.
Trying to just be more social. I don't overdue it though. Just talking or saying hi to people in forums like here on weasyl.
Going out in public sometimes, like shopping with my mom.
I'm still very anxious around people and talking, but I'm working on it.
I suggest looking things up online on how to cope or even talking to a doctor about it.

If you want to talk to me privately, you can message me here or add me on my skype and send me a message (Just be sure to let me know who you are!)

Uhm this is one of my own personal attempts to try and push myself a little so.

[DameGreyWulf]

The best "cure" for social anxiety is to take a daring plunge, I've learned. I couldn't order my own food, let alone drive anywhere by myself, until I got a wild hair up my ass and hopped on a plain to New Mexico to meet an online friend. I nearly broke down into tears and ran off the plane when I was boarding. The worst part was, I must've been somewhere near the engine or my hearing issue is really that awful, because I had a girl sitting next to me who kept talking to me but I couldn't understand a thing she said and was slowly dying inside. Then when I was with the friend and his mom, I spilled ice cream all over myself like a toddler the first day.
But in the end it all turned out to be for my own good. They took me many places and I was forced to interact and live amongst strangers for a week. It did wonders.
I'd have to say you gotta be careful about it though. I tried to do the same thing with a different online friend, totally different result. I was on pins and needles the whole time, and basically melted into her couch, not saying much if anything at all to anyone. It really depends heavily on your relationship with the person and the amount of planning you put into it.

[irick]

You might want to change the font color to something with more contrast with the background.
I'm colorblind, so take it with a word of salt, but I can't read your post.

[Icy Jellyfish]

The best "cure" for social anxiety is to take a daring plunge, I've learned. I couldn't order my own food, let alone drive anywhere by myself, until I got a wild hair up my ass and hopped on a plain to New Mexico to meet an online friend. I nearly broke down into tears and ran off the plane when I was boarding. The worst part was, I must've been somewhere near the engine or my hearing issue is really that awful, because I had a girl sitting next to me who kept talking to me but I couldn't understand a thing she said and was slowly dying inside. Then when I was with the friend and his mom, I spilled ice cream all over myself like a toddler the first day.
But in the end it all turned out to be for my own good. They took me many places and I was forced to interact and live amongst strangers for a week. It did wonders.
I'd have to say you gotta be careful about it though. I tried to do the same thing with a different online friend, totally different result. I was on pins and needles the whole time, and basically melted into her couch, not saying much if anything at all to anyone. It really depends heavily on your relationship with the person and the amount of planning you put into it.

I could see how that would help, though I don't actually have any friends online of off.
I only have my girlfriend and I do plan on going to see her when I have the money.
I suppose I could try just going out someplace sometime until then.

[Krespo]

Having dealt with social anxiety in the past, the only advice I can give to anyone is to get help. Sitting around hoping it'll pass will get you nowhere. For me I needed a counselor, at the time I couldnt even use a phone without freezing up so I had to go there in person and stammer out what I wanted. After that it was easier because I now had a plan on what to do and how to do it. Approach anxiety as something to get over in stages instead of a crippling mental problem and it will help you greatly. It wont matter if you make a slip up then because you'll have your own progress to look back on, and you wont have to start at square one.

And good job putting yourself out there, Icy c:

[Vae]

It comes and it goes, for me.
It seems like some days, socialization comes without much of an issue. I make and engage in conversation. I read messages. I go hang out with people like normal.

And then there are other times where I can't even check an inbox without that pulsating feeling from behind my eyeballs. That choking and locking up and basically being set for a violent panic attack if I don't abandon the situation like an unwanted child at the store.

It's just kind of random and annoying.

[Gamedog]

Baby steps. Let nobody push you past your limit, you need to do that yourself.

That's how I'm working through mine.

[Rilvor]

You know, the movie Yes Man actually was on to something here in a way.

It starts with saying Yes, not just to others but yourself as well.

[Dreaming]

It's nowhere near as bad as it was. I ain't really socially anxious these days, I'm just paranoid 24/7 and scared of anything that moves. Apparently that gives the impression that I'm shy or socially anxious or something...

I had it pretty bad in high school, and it grew a whole lot worse when I moved to college. Like, college was a complete disaster, that was the breaking point for me. Meh, fate has a sick sense of humor, I guess? The social anxiety eventually died down but it was replaced by something far worse. Socializing isn't an issue but it inevitably leads to critical shutdown. I mean, I'm capable of conversation, but there's always that voice in the head that feeds the paranoia... "good lord, you idiot. They all hate you, y'know? They laugh at you behind your back. They're ashamed of you, they want you dead, you worthless moron. Crawl into your hole and die already" get out of my head oh my god leave me alone please

Crawl out of a ditch and into a maze, aye? Entirely hypocritical suggestion: It's always good to seek help because you never know what's feeding the social anxiety, or if it stands alone. Forcing yourself into the social world may help, but that plan can backfire horribly. ^{[citation: experience]}

[Icy Jellyfish]

Having dealt with social anxiety in the past, the only advice I can give to anyone is to get help. Sitting around hoping it'll pass will get you nowhere. For me I needed a counselor, at the time I couldnt even use a phone without freezing up so I had to go there in person and stammer out what I wanted. After that it was easier because I now had a plan on what to do and how to do it. Approach anxiety as something to get over in stages instead of a crippling mental problem and it will help you greatly. It wont matter if you make a slip up then because you'll have your own progress to look back on, and you wont have to start at square one.

And good job putting yourself out there, Icy c:

I do have a doctor that I see and it helps. I think part of the problem now is that I've become slightly paranoid (I won't say why for it's personal) so it makes it difficult for me to get out more.
But I am slowly trying to talk to people more, like posting this thread and responding. And I think it's helping since I don't feel so scared to do it xD

Thank you c:

It comes and it goes, for me.
It seems like some days, socialization comes without much of an issue. I make and engage in conversation. I read messages. I go hang out with people like normal.

And then there are other times where I can't even check an inbox without that pulsating feeling from behind my eyeballs. That choking and locking up and basically being set for a violent panic attack if I don't abandon the situation like an unwanted child at the store.

It's just kind of random and annoying.

That sounds really difficult to deal with. Since you never know when it will come or not.
I suppose at least you know that when it happens you could just take a break. Step back and take some deep breaths.

Baby steps. Let nobody push you past your limit, you need to do that yourself.

That's how I'm working through mine.

That's what I'm doing, I'm just taking it slow and what feels comfortable.

It's nowhere near as bad as it was. I ain't really socially anxious these days, I'm just paranoid 24/7 and scared of anything that moves. Apparently that gives the impression that I'm shy or socially anxious or something...

I had it pretty bad in high school, and it grew a whole lot worse when I moved to college. Like, college was a complete disaster, that was the breaking point for me. Meh, fate has a sick sense of humor, I guess? The social anxiety eventually died down but it was replaced by something far worse. Socializing isn't an issue but it inevitably leads to critical shutdown. I mean, I'm capable of conversation, but there's always that voice in the head that feeds the paranoia... "good lord, you idiot. They all hate you, y'know? They laugh at you behind your back. They're ashamed of you, they want you dead, you worthless moron. Crawl into your hole and die already" get out of my head oh my god leave me alone please

Crawl out of a ditch and into a maze, aye? Entirely hypocritical suggestion: It's always good to seek help because you never know what's feeding the social anxiety, or if it stands alone. Forcing yourself into the social world may help, but that plan can backfire horribly. ^{[citation: experience]}

That sounds really bad, I hope you're seeing someone for it.
My paranoia is just hearing loud noises or anything that doesn't sound normal and I think something bad is happening. Used to never be like that.
Sometimes you need to remember that people aren't out to get you or hurt you, though I know it can be hard to believe at times.
But yes, you should be talking to a professional about that, that's the only way to get proper help.