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  Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.   Thread: Mental Health?

  1. #121
    Senior Gamedog's Avatar
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    I have really, really bad memory issues. I'm guessing that it's probably ADHD, but I've always thought it was my PTSD just fucking me over.
    Unfortunately, this means I'm just using "excuses" when it comes to forgetting things. I wish I could remember things people tell me; dates, names, birthdays.... shit, even what I ate yesterday.. but it just doesn't work. I am able to remember very key things throughout my life and sometimes even things that aren't important at all. I won't be able to remember what I did in the afternoon a day or so ago, but I am able to remember word-for-word what someone said years ago. I just don't get it, and it's kind of hard to deal with.
    I know someone who will tell me "I'm going over to X's house", and I'll ask "who's X?" and they'll get mad because I don't know who X is, and that I should "write it down, because I'm getting tired of telling you". It kind of hurts because I'm trying to remember things, I want to remember things, I want to remember birthdays and names and phone numbers, but I just can't.
    Yesterday I checked for mail and had tacos, that's about all I remember.

  2. #122
    Junior DivinePrince's Avatar
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    Undianosed clinical depression and diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
    I am absolutely sure about the depression. Even my friend with depression thinks I have it.
    The only problem is that my psychologist takes a buttload of time to respond to things and make appointments.

    I am a switcher.

    One day i may have anxiety all day- become selective-mute, have panic attacks, the next 4 days I will be fine with a few worries here and there, the next few days I suddenly feel sad and unmotivated and helpless, self defeating and tired.
    Just an elusive non-anthro artist passing through.

  3. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by DivinePrince View Post
    I am a switcher.

    One day i may have anxiety all day- become selective-mute, have panic attacks, the next 4 days I will be fine with a few worries here and there, the next few days I suddenly feel sad and unmotivated and helpless, self defeating and tired.
    Are you sure you just don't have bipolar disorder?
    Resident Koopa Trash

  4. #124
    Regular battybegins's Avatar
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    Yeah I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. It's been a rough couple of years. In retrospect, think I've always had issues with depression, but when I got out of high school my friends were no longer around to support and distract me, and adults weren't around to make sure I got up and did things. I was on my own. For the first time it was sink or swim and I sunk. Deeply.

    I flunked out of two full semesters of college. First, I started avoiding everyone, walking a longer path to make sure I stayed away from groups, wolfing down lunch so no one would try to sit with me, spending all my time looking down and doing nothing but listening to music or reading, any mindless activity that required no effort and distracted me.

    Then it got worse. First, I stopped going to class. I'd get up in the morning, get dressed, everything and then half way to class, I'd veer around and hide in the library until the day was over.

    Then I stopped coming out of my dorm, taking showers, answering my phone, talking to people, even online.... It got steadily worse and worse until I couldn't even manage to get out of bed or eat. I couldn't explain it but everything that I had once enjoyed just didn't make me happy anymore. And nothing anyone said made it better. It was like, I felt that I didn't DESERVE to be happy for some reason. In fact, my brain convinced me that I was born without the ability to be happy.

    Eventually I started agressivley hating myself for failing at so many things, and hurting people's feelings. I felt that the money my mother had wasted on my education couldn't be paid back, and I really didn't want to let everyone down. I didn't want to deal with feeling guilty anymore. That drove me to contemplate suicide for the first time. I felt like death was an alternative to admitting to people I failed with "no good reason".

    There was another element that developed when the self-hatred started. Hyper-vigilance or paranoia. It's not a disorder on it's own in my case, but a symptom of my severe depressive episodes. When I'm paranoid I start beleiving that God, or some higher power is intentionally trying to get me to kill myself, even though I'm not generally a religious person. I interpret little things that happens as "signs" that it's finally time for me to kill myself. The worse my depression is, the worse my paranoid symptoms get.

    Fortunately I did get help. I've been on Lexapro for almost a year now and it's amazing the difference it's made.

    Personally, I think everyone's brain chemistry is different. For some people, medication is the best answer, for others it's not. Some people need therapy and nothing else. I don't see why people would think a one-size fits all approach works when it's been proven that everyone's brains are unique.

    I have a good friend who is clinically depressed like me, but unlike me her brain refuses to respond to any type of medication. To deal with her suicidal urges, she started undergoing electro-convulsive therapy, and she has actually shown progress with this.
    Last edited by battybegins; 05-31-2014 at 06:22 AM.
    "People tell me it's a sin to know and feel too much within. I still believe she was my twin but I lost the ring".

  5. #125
    Senior Torrijos_sama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by battybegins View Post
    Yeah I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. It's been a rough couple of years. In retrospect, think I've always had issues with depression, but when I got out of high school my friends were no longer around to support and distract me, and adults weren't around to make sure I got up and did things. I was on my own. For the first time it was sink or swim and I sunk. Deeply.

    I flunked out of two full semesters of college. First, I started avoiding everyone, walking a longer path to make sure I stayed away from groups, wolfing down lunch so no one would try to sit with me, spending all my time looking down and doing nothing but listening to music or reading, any mindless activity that required no effort and distracted me.

    Then it got worse. First, I stopped going to class. I'd get up in the morning, get dressed, everything and then half way to class, I'd veer around and hide in the library until the day was over.

    Then I stopped coming out of my dorm, taking showers, answering my phone, talking to people, even online.... It got steadily worse and worse until I couldn't even manage to get out of bed or eat. I couldn't explain it but everything that I had once enjoyed just didn't make me happy anymore. And nothing anyone said made it better. It was like, I felt that I didn't DESERVE to be happy for some reason. In fact, my brain convinced me that I was born without the ability to be happy.

    Eventually I started agressivley hating myself for failing at so many things, and hurting people's feelings. I felt that the money my mother had wasted on my education couldn't be paid back, and I really didn't want to let everyone down. I didn't want to deal with feeling guilty anymore. That drove me to contemplate suicide for the first time. I felt like death was an alternative to admitting to people I failed with "no good reason".

    There was another element that developed when the self-hatred started. Hyper-vigilance or paranoia. It's not a disorder on it's own in my case, but a symptom of my severe depressive episodes. When I'm paranoid I start beleiving that God, or some higher power is intentionally trying to get me to kill myself, even though I'm not generally a religious person. I interpret little things that happens as "signs" that it's finally time for me to kill myself. The worse my depression is, the worse my paranoid symptoms get.

    Fortunately I did get help. I've been on Lexapro for almost a year now and it's amazing the difference it's made.

    Personally, I think everyone's brain chemistry is different. For some people, medication is the best answer, for others it's not. Some people need therapy and nothing else. I don't see why people would think a one-size fits all approach works when it's been proven that everyone's brains are unique.

    I have a good friend who is clinically depressed like me, but unlike me her brain refuses to respond to any type of medication. To deal with her suicidal urges, she started undergoing electro-convulsive therapy, and she has actually shown progress with this.
    Brain chemistry is a wonderful thing to toy with, though. Once I figured out that things were wrong, I started fucking with it back. Definitely adds some drama and some interesting things to life, but it's worth it!

  6. #126
    Technical Staff Ritty's Avatar
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    My username is a hint. Select to reveal answer: Ritty - Ritalin - ADHD!!! yay

    Though that's not the medication I currently take (currently on Elvanse/Vyvanse.) It works stupidly well for me; when I'm off it I manage to waste hours doing nothing at all and just completely fail to understand the passing of time, I procrastinate to the point of making myself cry and just generally hating myself.

    Sleep is especially tricky with my unmedicated evenings finding it immensely hard to drag myself to bed some nights, but even then, just the act of rising feels like a Herculean trial. I'm convinced I have a sleep disorder in addition to being a flake, so I'm due a sleep study for that one...

 

 

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