Give Me Your Stories--I will review them.

[RedSavage]

So--I wanna get this writing community a kick in the ass and get it rolling. So I feel like doing nothing but that tomorrow on my day off.

That said--Bring me your stories to critique. In terms of what experience I have on my end, I've been writing for about five or so years now. Not much by a long stretch, but in that time I've completed a book, a handful of short stories, and other non-consequentials. More so, I've been reading and critiquing both writing and webcomic work for even longer. I go for a blend of semi-objective and subjective. I try to find what you're going for in the piece and then read and review it as such. While I won't be outright rude, I will be blunt and honest.

I do try to tell you what you did right though, in almost equal shares. I don't believe in the whole "only negative" review stuff merely because it's always nice to know what strengths you do have as a writer. It's good to play on those.

So that said--bring me your stories. I will send the review to you all privately, but could also post it here too if you don't mind. Maybe get others reading and talking about your work--yeah? Or at the very least, get people to read your work and call me out on any bullshit I might have pulled in my critique.

Now no more waiting. I'll be back to see what's up. Give me both time and room to give a review. So no paragraph long stories. No buggery about 'when do I get my review' etc. I'll do what I can cause I want to get to know a lot of you and your writing. It can say a lot.

[Matt]

https://www.weasyl.com/submission/23...ment-chapter-1

Sure, dude. I'd appreciate it. I know this story has strong character flaws early on, and a few glaring typos that need address, so I don't want to insult your time if you're forced to retain faith through some stupid shit.

But it'd be cool if you'd check it out. If you're against typos, give me some time to unscramble and I'll reupload.

[Matt Conner]

I promise I'll have you critique a story of mine after I write one! I have been role playing for years now and its done wonders for my writing skills, but I'll need your help to shake off some bad habits I've probably developed from posting chunks of a story a paragraph at a time based on information from the previous paragraph, yaknow?

[Rory]

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6065428/

Prologue to a story that I have a few chapters of. I wrote this a few years back, before my writing really took a turn for the better during the last two years of university. Still, it was my first attempt at world creation, and constructive feedback is never a bad thing. I'm fine with it being public.

[Fay V]

I'd like to see more writing support on the forum so I'll bite.

https://www.weasyl.com/submission/244338/memory
https://www.weasyl.com/submission/230292/unnamed-story

both are extremely short one offs to get my into the practice of writing again.

Feel free to critique publically

[RedSavage]

Good deal good deal.
Matt I've read your story. Nicely done. I'll be sending you a thing tomorrow on it. As for the rest, well. I'll be back, as the say.

[Matt]

Good deal good deal.
Matt I've read your story. Nicely done. I'll be sending you a thing tomorrow on it. As for the rest, well. I'll be back, as the say.

Thank you for the time, dude. I've no reservations with you posting it here if you don't. I agree with Fay in trying to get the whole public critiquing thing going in this forum.

[Zeitzbach]

Might as well give it a try then!

https://www.weasyl.com/submission/31...on-1-furniture

Feel free to post it right here so other new (and bad) writers like me can just pick up additional tips if needed right away.

And I guess I might as well take a look around at the vets' as well.

[RedSavage]

Detachment

Detachment is the kind of story that raises more questions than answers and it's perfectly okay. It's heavy on humor and surrealism, and in the same sense it works because from the start it's obvious--this is a strange tale of a strange man. A man who should be dead, but woke up. The writing style I'd compare to Douglas Adam's work, only in the sense of utterly illogical characters being put up against a being of normalcy. I love the beginning interaction because just when it ends I'm left thinking okay--now to get a sane person who's inside the loop. Let's meet this doctor. And then I'm left with another character who's just as, if not more, certifiably insane than the protagonist.

In terms of character and setting--there could be a bit more, and it's apparent you can see that. In my completely semi-educated opinion, I'd like to see more words given to visceral description of the going ons. Like, the chair he's sitting in near the end. In the end--I don't even really know what the chair looks like. It's just a chair.

This is a borderline black-comedy--or camp horror type stuff. Painkillers and alcohol for anesthesia. A sadistic and manipulative doctor meeting in the back alley. And what the Christ is a bidoof? Mysterious and dark things--so let's throw some shadows on the wall. Chips in the paint. Dedicate some words to setting the atmosphere, which at best seems dreary interspersed with interesting bits of insanity. Same with the characters. Seems like I'm really in the moment one hundred percent of the time. Good, but balance it out with some descriptive parts to give us a better idea of the Who and the Where.

Other than that... keep at it. You're dialogue is realistic and interesting. Pacing is great overall. And more importantly, I'm interested and want to know what's going on. You got a good hook and it works. In terms of spelling and grammar--eh nothing I could see. You seem to know how to write in the basic sense, so good on ya. Good grammar and spelling is like having a good toolbox.

[Matt]

Detachment is the kind of story that raises more questions than answers and it's perfectly okay. It's heavy on humor and surrealism, and in the same sense it works because from the start it's obvious--this is a strange tale of a strange man. A man who should be dead, but woke up. The writing style I'd compare to Douglas Adam's work, only in the sense of utterly illogical characters being put up against a being of normalcy. I love the beginning interaction because just when it ends I'm left thinking okay--now to get a sane person who's inside the loop. Let's meet this doctor. And then I'm left with another character who's just as, if not more, certifiably insane than the protagonist.

In terms of character and setting--there could be a bit more, and it's apparent you can see that. In my completely semi-educated opinion, I'd like to see more words given to visceral description of the going ons. Like, the chair he's sitting in near the end. In the end--I don't even really know what the chair looks like. It's just a chair.

This is a borderline black-comedy--or camp horror type stuff. Painkillers and alcohol for anesthesia. A sadistic and manipulative doctor meeting in the back alley. And what the Christ is a bidoof? Mysterious and dark things--so let's throw some shadows on the wall. Chips in the paint. Dedicate some words to setting the atmosphere, which at best seems dreary interspersed with interesting bits of insanity. Same with the characters. Seems like I'm really in the moment one hundred percent of the time. Good, but balance it out with some descriptive parts to give us a better idea of the Who and the Where.

Other than that... keep at it. You're dialogue is realistic and interesting. Pacing is great overall. And more importantly, I'm interested and want to know what's going on. You got a good hook and it works. In terms of spelling and grammar--eh nothing I could see. You seem to know how to write in the basic sense, so good on ya. Good grammar and spelling is like having a good toolbox.

Wow. Thanks a ton, dude. That's, without a doubt, the nicest thing anyone's said about any of the stuff I've written. And pacing is kind of thing I end up focusing on the most, so I'm glad that's not been wasted effort.

And I know you're completely right on the need for more setting/descriptive stuff, though. There's basically none. I'm just not sure how to do it well, so I tend to avoid it, and that is the opposite of what I should be doing. It's also a little less fun for me, but that's not an excuse. The second chapter is gonna start off with some more heavy descriptiony stuff, so maybe I can roll with it more there in general

Thank you for taking the time to review it, dude. It's massively appreciated. And thanks for starting this thread up. Hopefully everyone gets as much out of it as me.