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  1. #61
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinjo View Post
    Again. Why should I read through the entirety of your post if you aren't going to do the same.

    I will re-state this once more for both you and wuvvums.

    I am not just blaming the victim. Bullies do need punishment as well, they do need to be dealt with. But much like victims, you two are only blaming the bully. Not once have you mention that you could have done something different, could have done something. Both me and Papaya have mentioned we were bullied and yet you both just seem to go " Oh, ok, cool. WEll I was bullied and that means more than you being bullied." As your your experiences should weigh harder than ours, because our opinion doesn't line up with yours.

    I haven't said anything up until now because I didn't want to be -that- guy. But seriously. You state your experiences as why your argument is valid, but turn around and say this when it's some one else's.
    He isn't invalidating your argument, he's telling YOU not to invalidate his. And I agree with him, how about you directly answer how it can be the victim's fault for being different? As a kid, I had thick glasses I needed to see. Should I have taken them off and walked around blind, unable to read school work because it was my fault for wearing them? Should I have blamed myself for having a fault of nature I had no say in because someone else didn't like that about me? That's what it sounds like you're saying.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by PapayaShark View Post
    I wasn't bothered by your, or anyone. I just often get really shaky for a long time. I just wanted to say it in case my spelling as horrible or my answer was to short. And you don't need to apology, I wasn't hurt by anything you wrote.

    And it was really shady of your friend to give our mail away to the spammers. Even if people was bombarding her with hate, you don't do that. Real friends don't do that kind of shit, they help you. And on DA off all places :I
    Maybe you can give your friends a different email from what you normally use(but that doesn't work if they are spineless and give it away), If you decide to quit using a site.
    And yeah, I don't agree with the ones saying to never get close to internet people, but I always keep in mind that they aren't always who they claim to be.
    I have left places because people would not leave me alone and lost all the benefits I had in these places because there was no justice for me. To me, it seems completely unfair that I should have to give up something because certain people have a problem with me. I really hate seeing other people in that same situation. It just lets them win, it shows them that they can be cliquey about who they want in communities they hang out in. They have no regard for what they might be taking from people. They should be taught a lesson about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by PapayaShark View Post
    Couldn't you find maybe a smaller community, that is more hid away. I am on a lot of large forums and websites, but also on a a small with less than 50 active users that I can hide at when I have been to loud. And if the admins were shitty, I wouldn't bother continue using the website, even if I weren't harassed on it.
    My situation wasn't unique, at least 2 other people saved screenshots and anyone with the power to step in either ignored us or blamed us for getting worked up about what they considered to be little things. "Little things" being attacking everyone who even associated with someone they targeted, spreading rumors about their targets committing criminal acts, getting their targets banned from certain websites, etc.
    If you say "plz" because it's shorter than "please," I'll say "no" because it's shorter than "yes."

  2. #62
    The reason why we are only blaming the bully is because bullying would not occur without them. Kasune pointed out that some victims ask for it in the case of taunting, and even then that doesn't mean a bully must be compelled to bully, and I think for the most part people do try to take what measures they can to avoid bullying because we do not like getting bullied. And we already told you that sometimes the measures make it worse, I believe it would be much easier if we could focus more on what we could do with bullies rather than their victims.

    I don't really know if there's good analogies, because I feel like once we start making comparisons it starts feeling a little ridiculous... But say we had to bring someone to court for a mugging. The victim gave the mugger his money, because he was afraid to stand up to the mugger. Are we going to blame the victim for doing something less brave, even though he gave the attacker his money? And would it not be sensible to blame only the attacker, because mugging is a crime and no one should mug? Sometimes the victim is blamed for perhaps being in the wrong part of town, or looking too rich, but in the end this could happen even if the victim was in a place we deemed "safe" and was a poor person. And the only one to blame is the mugger.

    I don't know what kids you know and what they did to warrant their bullying. I do know that victim blaming seems to be a mechanism to excuse or rationalize something. Sometimes it's used to explain why bad things happen to good people, or sometimes to assume that the good person must have not been good and done something to warrant it. There's plenty of reasons people do victim blame but it usually ends up being more harmful for the victim than the aggressor.

  3. #63
    Quote Originally Posted by Wuvvums View Post
    The reason why we are only blaming the bully is because bullying would not occur without them. Kasune pointed out that some victims ask for it in the case of taunting, and even then that doesn't mean a bully must be compelled to bully, and I think for the most part people do try to take what measures they can to avoid bullying because we do not like getting bullied. And we already told you that sometimes the measures make it worse, I believe it would be much easier if we could focus more on what we could do with bullies rather than their victims.

    I don't really know if there's good analogies, because I feel like once we start making comparisons it starts feeling a little ridiculous... But say we had to bring someone to court for a mugging. The victim gave the mugger his money, because he was afraid to stand up to the mugger. Are we going to blame the victim for doing something less brave, even though he gave the attacker his money? And would it not be sensible to blame only the attacker, because mugging is a crime and no one should mug? Sometimes the victim is blamed for perhaps being in the wrong part of town, or looking too rich, but in the end this could happen even if the victim was in a place we deemed "safe" and was a poor person. And the only one to blame is the mugger.

    I don't know what kids you know and what they did to warrant their bullying. I do know that victim blaming seems to be a mechanism to excuse or rationalize something. Sometimes it's used to explain why bad things happen to good people, or sometimes to assume that the good person must have not been good and done something to warrant it. There's plenty of reasons people do victim blame but it usually ends up being more harmful for the victim than the aggressor.
    I Honestly can't comprehend how you just keep making half arsed scenarios without thinking them through.

    The victim could have armed himself. Learned to protect his person. Honestly, it takes two to tango.

  4. #64
    So you would blame mugging victims too? Usually trying to fight back can be worse than complying. Sometimes it can get you killed. Complying in itself is a form of protection by trying to avoid danger. I still don't see how blaming helps the victim, or why a victim should be held accountable.

  5. #65
    Quote Originally Posted by Wuvvums View Post
    So you would blame mugging victims too? Usually trying to fight back can be worse than complying. Sometimes it can get you killed. Complying in itself is a form of protection by trying to avoid danger. I still don't see how blaming helps the victim, or why a victim should be held accountable.
    I would if the mugging victim got mugged repeatedly, yea.

  6. #66
    So if a crime happens to someone more than once, then it's their fault? Then what would we do to the victim if they're to blame? Would we charge them for making the crime happen? Or drop the charges against the mugger?

    And I don't think it's a ridiculous scenario. I think it's a little silly that we need to delve into such scenarios to try and get across the idea of victim blaming.

  7. #67
    Quote Originally Posted by Wuvvums View Post
    So if a crime happens to someone more than once, then it's their fault? Then what would we do to the victim if they're to blame? Would we charge them for making the crime happen? Or drop the charges against the mugger?

    And I don't think it's a ridiculous scenario. I think it's a little silly that we need to delve into such scenarios to try and get across the idea of victim blaming.
    So if the victim was mugged over and over and over again you, as a sane person. Would say > " Oh jeez, sure is the fault of just these criminals, there's so many" instead of saying. " Oh jeez, maybe you should take some self defense classes" or " Oh jeez, maybe you should get a weapon to protect your self."

  8. #68
    They can take steps to try and defend themselves. This still doesn't make it the victim's responsibility to prevent crime. It also doesn't change the fact that fighting can make it worse. Submitting and running away is a valid choice for a victim.

  9. #69
    Quote Originally Posted by Wuvvums View Post
    They can take steps to try and defend themselves. This still doesn't make it the victim's responsibility to prevent crime. It also doesn't change the fact that fighting can make it worse. Submitting and running away is a valid choice for a victim.
    Alright. I can see that you aren't even going to rationalize here.

    Victim will always find, anything, other than themselves to blame.

  10. #70
    Senior PapayaShark's Avatar
    Weasyl
    PapayaShark
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    You guys will never agree so I don't see the need to continue having a seven year old fight discussion.

 

 

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