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  Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.   Thread: What Grinds Your Gears?

  1. #501
    Senior Matt Conner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vae View Post
    I hate this kind of expectation people have formed in our society that, if someone is a blatantly abusive fucking asshole to you, it is the "adult" and "professional" thing to grin and bare it and respond as calmly and politely as possible.

    Fuck that nonsense. I fully encourage these people to be put in their place by a verbal smackdown of epic proportions.
    It should NEVER be encouraged to just be "polite and professional" about someone screaming abusive language at you, unless acting like an "adult" is synonymous with acting like a Stepford smiler.

    Just because you're in a position of business that relies upon the payment of another, does not mean you should be absolutely expected not to have any sort of backbone or stand up for yourself, whatsoever.
    You're right about standing up for yourself, but I've never seen a situation like a fight or an argument with an employer improve after somebody administers a "verbal smack down." If anything it just makes you look just as asinine as the other party. Besides, even if you're totally in the right, your employer is still your boss and can easily burn bridges for you even after you quit. Being professional doesn't mean you have to take abuse like a bitch either.
    Yeah? well, y'know...that's just like, your opinion, man.

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  2. #502
    Senior Vae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt Conner View Post
    If anything it just makes you look just as asinine as the other party.
    And that's why I don't get this.
    I don't get why it's "asinine" to be poisonous to someone who was already poisonous to you.
    I don't get why it's "asinine" to "stoop to their level."
    I don't why someone making personal attacks on you doesn't warrant the same to be done back at them. Why you're outright expected to "be the bigger man" and diffuse the situation, instead of putting them right in their place with the same amount of animosity. Within the limits of the law, of course.
    They provoked the situation and put it on that level, so it's their own fault.
    Why is it "being the bigger person" to hold back from that?

    Besides, even if you're totally in the right, your employer is still your boss and can easily burn bridges for you even after you quit.
    That is the situation as it exists.
    Doesn't make it "right," though.
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  3. #503
    Solifugid Onnes's Avatar
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    "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind." (Quote of apparently unknown absolute origin. It's not really the same sense as present but I feel the concept translates.) If all parties escalate then you can have no winners, only losers. It strongly encourages those other parties to exercise their present and/or future power to make your life miserable, which is clearly undesirable. There's a reason this quote became attributed to civil rights leaders.
    Last edited by Onnes; 01-26-2014 at 01:31 AM.

  4. #504
    Senior Vae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onnes View Post
    "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind." (Quote of apparently unknown absolute origin. It's not really the same sense as present but I feel the concept translates.) If all parties escalate then you can have no winners, only losers. It strongly encourages those other parties to exercise their present and/or future power to make your life miserable, which is clearly undesirable. There's a reason this quote became attributed to civil rights leaders.
    So, either way, you're just fucked and you lose by default?

    Nothing is really done in your favor or defense by letting people get away with doing that shit. You can be passive aggressive all you want about it, but that person isn't going to care. They might not even acknowledge it. Not unless you put them in their place in a big way.

    Escalation of the situation isn't ideal, either, according to that philosophy.

    But that brings into question of which situation is less ideal.
    And I don't think it's a bad thing to encourage people to fight before they decide to give up.
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  5. #505
    Banned Tycho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vae View Post
    So, either way, you're just fucked and you lose by default?

    Nothing is really done in your favor or defense by letting people get away with doing that shit. You can be passive aggressive all you want about it, but that person isn't going to care. They might not even acknowledge it. Not unless you put them in their place in a big way.

    Escalation of the situation isn't ideal, either, according to that philosophy.

    But that brings into question of which situation is less ideal.
    And I don't think it's a bad thing to encourage people to fight before they decide to give up.
    "Don't let them get away with it!" and "Put them in their place!" are both things that look great on paper and in the realm of make believe. They don't work in real life.

    Something I have learned is that fighting fire with fire is, in a lot of cases, pointless. The idea that "if I do the same shit they do to me right back at them, they'll realize how bad it is and stop doing it" is not borne out to be true in real life. For my proof, look at the amount of shit trans* people have to deal with from gays/lesbians. There is a TON of transphobic sentiment in the "new civil rights movement". You would think that the gays/lesbians/etc. would have learned from being treated like shit by homophobes that it is a shitty thing to do to others. A look at organizations like the HRC, and certain prominent gay rights activists will reveal a TON of transphobic sentiment - these people haven't learned anything from the shit they went through, they think it's THEIR turn to shit on someone else now. There are plenty of gay/lesbian/bi/etc. people who STILL deal with shit from 'phobes, and then turn right around and heap that same kind of shit on other people. If that's not a shining example of the fact that people don't learn how to not be assholes by being shit on, I don't know what is.

    There are way too many people these days who think revenge is the answer. It's not. It's utterly self-serving and usually does little to correct the behavior that prompted the vengeful response. You aren't teaching them anything except that you want to fight.

  6. #506
    Senior Saga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vae View Post
    So, either way, you're just fucked and you lose by default?

    Nothing is really done in your favor or defense by letting people get away with doing that shit. You can be passive aggressive all you want about it, but that person isn't going to care. They might not even acknowledge it. Not unless you put them in their place in a big way.
    I've heard that getting revenge causes you to overthink the entire situation and actually leaves you more pissed than you would have been if you just let it go.
    But here's what I think
    If a person was being an ass to you in particular over a short period of time, or in just one instance, they arent even worth wasting the time to get back at. However, if they're consistently fucking around then it's acceptable to tell them to knock it off.
    Or knock it the FUCK OFF if it's more your style

  7. #507
    Premium User QT Melon's Avatar


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    Being woken up an hour ago (Which it's 3am for me at the time of this post) because of my neighbor's stupid drama. I can hear them arguing next door because apparently the mother went sleeping around and is now telling the father that he can't leave because they had 3 kids together...

  8. #508
    Senior ShadWolf's Avatar
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    Waking up cold, because I forgot to pull a blanket over me.
    Waking up in winter and the house is freezing.
    Leaving my nice warm bed in Winter.

  9. #509
    Insert Witty Comment Here AndiGreyScale's Avatar
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    Coming into this thread to see someone with a slur in their signature.

    =|

  10. #510
    Senior ShadWolf's Avatar
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    Making a new thread but nobody looks or responds to it, and turn it into a dead-end topic :/

 

 

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