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  Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.   Thread: Relationship Standards?

  1. #41
    Premium User FishNChips's Avatar

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    I dunno really. I find a way to be dissatisified and anxious with almost everything, I don't think relationships are ever going to be exempt from this.

    But trust, honesty, sincerity, openness, those are important. Also actively doing things be it just a modest little thing together that's routine, or something completely out of the blue and crazy on occassion. Life's got to have some experiences in it and you've got to let one another accomplish the things important to them. Share it with each other, even.

    Also I haven't been in this spot before, but I would be completely fucked off if there is any control exerted over me in a relationship no matter what form it's in. If like e.g. something like my pet meat-eating lizard makes a chick uncomfortable and she wants it gone she can pack her bags and leave.

  2. #42
    Junior jennytablina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gibby View Post
    I dunno really. I find a way to be dissatisified and anxious with almost everything, I don't think relationships are ever going to be exempt from this.
    There's absolutely nothing wrong with that Gibby, being realistic about your partner and your expectations of them can be a really good thing. Eventually everyone gets out of that happy "EYE WUV WOO" phase that begins almost every relationship and eventually has to deal with their partners less charming quirks and bad habits. Heck that's usually the make or break point of most relationships.

    I've seen what happens if you apply zero expectations or standards to relationships, people completely throw any sense of logic under the bus to completely revel in the supposed romance. Someone close to me threw themselves into a relationship like that last year - it was quite obvious the person was in it because he simply would not stop giving to that person, and they were making hay of it while the gravy train was rolling. They got medical expenses, two completely paid for holidays, clothes, hair accessories and even excess baggage fees paid for out of the guy. Funnily enough soon as he dropped his full time job for college she stopped talking to him.

    That said on the flip side, being completely cynical means you won't ever give a person a chance to show they can give back too. But I think I'ld much rather someone be cautious than ever have to see someone be a complete doormat again TBH.

    As for my tastes?

    I've always been keen to be with someone who doesn't act like a typical guy, thinks guys should do all the major legwork in the relationship ect. I prefer to be equal, though I admit occasionally somewhere deep down I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic that doesn't mind when a fella pulls out the stops. I'll likely do more for people I love than let them do things for me, though I always appreciate when others do their part too.

    At the same time, they have to be able to at least appreciate the things that play a large part in my life, I'm a huge video game nerd and animation buff and I'm pretty much a Sonic fan for life at this point (sad but true). I couldn't be with someone who hated those things or considered them wastes of space/time. They also have to respect me - I've dated people who have dismissed my concerns in the past because I "overreacted" to something (tecnically true, I can overworry sometimes but it's still not cool to simply dismiss a persons feelings) or just dance around the issue. Communication is key in a relationship, if you won't talk about your problems or dust things under the carpet, it'll only come bite you in the bum later.

    I'm also a very touchy-feely kind of person, I love cuddles and snuggles and other such things. Ironically I'm in a long distance relationship so I don't get a lot of cuddle time, though the person I am with makes sure I get plenty of cuddles and kisses when we are together, so I tend to think it's worth the wait.

  3. #43
    It's really hard for me to say because each relationship I've been in has been drastically different. My individual role tends to change pretty dramatically depending on my partner and their preferences, but I have to say that my current relationship is the one where I feel the most secure in myself and my relatively abnormal gender expression.

    One of the major things that I think almost everyone has weighed in on is trust. Trust is one of the major foundations for any relationship for me. Honest and open communication is also extremely important to me. I'll admit that I'm not always the best at this myself but I'll work on it. Willingness to experiment is also nice, or at least being open to new idea. Respect for ones self and also for me are pretty big as well. My boundaries are general non-existant or at least very flexible, but I have certain thing I prefer, like being discreet in public. I don't mind holding hands or even a little kiss in public, and general holding doesn't bother me. But I'm not going to be making out in public in front of people. A more recent addition to my 'standard' would be someone with some kind of ambition or drive. I've dated a few people who refuse to work for their future and I value work ethic and responsiibility quite a bit.

    That's all I can really think of for now. Being in a long distance relationship for the first time has been rough on me this year, but some good has some of it- I think it's given me more appreciation for the partner I let behind in the states, and I got to meet my partners in the UK face to face for the first time. I think we're coming on two years, so something's working for us.

  4. #44
    Junior magictrip's Avatar
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    All I look for in a person is someone who has similar values to me who I find interesting. That's really it. There are a lot of red flags I look for when I just start a relationship with someone (because who we are as friends is so drastically different from who we are as a partner), like looking out for controlling behaviors, but in general I'm pretty open and accepting of a lot of different kinds of people. People are interesting.

  5. #45
    Senior Kasune's Avatar
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    Haha oh dear, this topic... I could go on and on.
    I'm currently engaged, and my fiance meets all of my standards, so I consider myself very lucky.

    - Must be trustworthy. Don't keep secrets from me. Not only is it rude, it's suspicious. The moment I can't trust you, the relationship fails.
    - Can't be an ass. Has to be kinda sensitive. :V If you pick on me, it better be tasteful and I better get the joke, too.
    - Not too clingy or needy. I'm an introvert and sometimes I just require alone time.
    - Must like cuddling.
    - Bonus points if they wear glasses.

    I'm gonna leave it there because if I continue the list will get way too long.

  6. #46
    Oh man, I wasn't expecting such a heated discussion from this topic, but it seems like the fight is over.

    I have read all of the comments but I don't think I can reply to each and every one of you, haha XP

    Still, it's nice to know how everyone has so many different points of view on this.

  7. #47
    Viking of Weasyl TangoDelahunt's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ibuuyk View Post
    A'ight cutie, buy me a plane ticket and I'm game anytime

    Foot your own bill, you lazy Khajiit! Just be glad I'm will to buy the booze. Also I noticed you didn't try the other two routes mentioned.



    Sanita
    Courage, truth, honor, fidelity, discipline, hospitality, self-reliance, industriousness, and perseverance are pretty good traits to live by, don't you think?

  8. #48
    Resident Khajiit Ibuuyk's Avatar


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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanita View Post
    Foot your own bill, you lazy Khajiit! Just be glad I'm will to buy the booze. Also I noticed you didn't try the other two routes mentioned.



    Sanita
    I'm not one of dem crazy violent people who fight for fun, and I'm a virgin so I highly doubt I could outfuck you :V

  9. #49
    Senior Aakosir's Avatar
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    It is funny, someone said earlier that when you find love some of your standards go out the window. I totally agree with that.

    For instance, I have always been against drugs of any sort and heavy drinking, not alcoholism, because if he was alcoholic he'd be gone. But my current boyfriend is pretty damned amazing and he has had a history with drugs. Nothing too serious from what he has told me, but a good bit of experimenting. He also drinks a good bit, but it's not too excessive. He's not getting drunk every night of the week. Maybe tipsy once or twice. But you know, he's not doing anyone any harm and is a very intellectual and caring person.

    We can talk about anything and everything, from TV shows to relationship troubles. We can go anywhere without embarrassment and he helps me with my kids, which totally floored me the first few times since their own father hasn't seen them in almost two months. He helps pay for gas and food. He tells me pretty much everything that's important, doesn't sugar coat the truth and will disagree with me. He compliments me with words, gifts and in other ways. He's motivated and has ambition. And likes to read! XD

    I could keep going on and on, but I think a lot will get the point. He has all the traits and qualities that I have looked for and more.

  10. #50
    Regular Varden's Avatar
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    Not being a twat.

    The end.

    Well actually I could go on a megaleap and post pages and pages of fiance criteria. But really I'm just a laidback dude. Think the Big Lebowski but not as high.Be nice to me and we're friends. I haven't ever considered anyone a g/bfriend since I knew what those were so I still don't know what my criteria for them is. Apparently it's just wanting to be (My BSFF).

 

 

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