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  Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.   Thread: Relationship Standards?

  1. #1

    Relationship Standards?

    Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner I thought this would be a nice topic to talk about in here; both for those who already have a relationship and the ones that don't. This is something that I felt like sharing after reading a journal from someone else on FA some time ago but I can't remember exactly who it was.

    Anyhow, I know that this topic might be a bit too serious for some people, but it's good to know what we want when we share the same drawers with that special someone, right?

    Right now I'm not looking for a partner at all, however if I had to point out the things I want in someone it would be:

    1. Transparent: No lies or secrets, no fear to say what you feel or want. Communication is highly important to me and anything that they might be afraid of I would keep it closed to myself. I know how to keep secrets.

    2. Open Minded/Experimenter: I want someone who is not afraid to try something new at least once and that accepts those things that are different or weird from the point we are standing. With some limits of course, it wouldn't be fun if we end up hurting feelings or in a hospital with a terminal disease. This includes art, music, travels and all sorts of experiences.

    3. Reciprocity: If I help you accomplish a certain task or goal I want a treat or something that can be taken as thanks. Because I sure as hell would do the same thing.

    4. Children: If I don't want a relationship at the moment, much less kids. However, if I ever wanted to raise a child I would choose to adopt. I really don't want to bring a new life to this world since overpopulation is a very serious problem to me and I want to do anything I can for it.

    5.Independent: If I happen to end up in a comma or something that might leave me in very bad shape I need to know that they will be okay without my help. I don't want someone who just clings around or looks for economic help for this or that. So those dishes better be clean when I get back from work.

    6. Home: I'm really not sure yet if I want to live in an apartment or a house. I guess an apartment would be good because all of the houses of today are way too big for just a family of 2, unless you build one of your own of course.

    7. Spice: I love surprises, but little things are the ones that make me smile the most. Be it a random act of kindness or a small quirk of the person I'm with.

    Well, I think that's pretty much it, I can't think of anything else to say.

    So yeah, what are your relationship standards?

    ~DV

  2. #2
    Senior Sparky15756's Avatar
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    I'll just copy/paste this from my FurryMate profile, though it's not a checklist to base anything off as I've found that getting to know someone in real life is much more rewarding than getting to know them online :3

    Somebody who is LOCAL to me; Within easy travel distance
    -I'm tired of long-distance relationships and I'd want someone who I can easily travel to. So whether by bus or train, if I can travel to you to and from Liverpool with ease then that's awesome.

    Somebody who has common sense
    -Doesn't need to be said, but common sense is needed.

    Somebody who loves me for who I am including my craziness
    -I don't act normal as I prefer to be different but I know when I be serious

    Somebody who doesn't care about me having Aspergers/Autism and ADHD.
    -This is a big thing for me as if you have to accept that I've got mental/learning problems.

    Somebody who isn't emotional all the time.
    -Being emotional is part of being human but doing it all the time puts me off.

    Somebody who isn't clingy but allows me to have my time and space to myself
    -Not that I don't mind someone being clingy but I do want to do things by myself or with friends.

    Somebody who doesn't want sex with me all the time.
    -I believe that a relationship isn't just about sex and would be happy if the relationship wasn't just about sex

    Somebody who isn't shallow.
    -Can be seen as ironic but I'd rather be with someone who's with me not for my body.

    Somebody who doesn't mind my strange interests
    -I like different things from the norm, like Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG, so hopefully you can put up with it.

    Somebody who allows me to focus on my job/football team/whatever when needed.
    -I prefer to work for the future and not the short-term and would love to continue my hobbies and/or work as much as possible.

    Somebody who doesn't get jealous that I'm out with friends
    -I will try and get you involved in what I do and I'll try get involved with what you do but it's not compulsory that we do the same things.

    Somebody who's between the age of 18 years old and 27 years old.
    -I'd want to be with someone who I can spend my life with. That and legal too.

    Don't be overweight/grotesque
    -Not that I don't mind 'bigger' people but I'd rather have someone who's got some meat on them, no sexual innuendo intended, than someone who looks like they could roll down a hill. But everyone is different and I can easily look past the weight aspect once we've met and I believe you're a really nice person. :3

  3. #3
    Senior Damian's Avatar
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    They need to have some sort of initiative or motivation. An inner drive if you will. Too many times I have dated someone who doesn't know what they want to do with their future.

    I want someone who has their own opinion. None of this "oh whatever you want" crap.

    I want them to be truthful but still have their own space as I request for myself. Some things just aren't worth talking about.

    I don't want clinginess. It's such a turn off.

    Also absolutely NO CHILDREN.
    We all have our demons. If we're not fighting them, then we've befriended them.

  4. #4
    I am in a relationship. I'm too lazy to list all the qualities I prefer in a mate (), but I'll tell you that when you find the right one, they may have qualities that you didn't know you liked in a partner.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparky15756 View Post
    I'll just copy/paste this from my FurryMate profile, though it's not a checklist to base anything off as I've found that getting to know someone in real life is much more rewarding than getting to know them online :3

    Somebody who is LOCAL to me; Within easy travel distance
    -I'm tired of long-distance relationships and I'd want someone who I can easily travel to. So whether by bus or train, if I can travel to you to and from Liverpool with ease then that's awesome.

    Somebody who has common sense
    -Doesn't need to be said, but common sense is needed.

    Somebody who loves me for who I am including my craziness
    -I don't act normal as I prefer to be different but I know when I be serious

    Somebody who doesn't care about me having Aspergers/Autism and ADHD.
    -This is a big thing for me as if you have to accept that I've got mental/learning problems.

    Somebody who isn't emotional all the time.
    -Being emotional is part of being human but doing it all the time puts me off.

    Somebody who isn't clingy but allows me to have my time and space to myself
    -Not that I don't mind someone being clingy but I do want to do things by myself or with friends.

    Somebody who doesn't want sex with me all the time.
    -I believe that a relationship isn't just about sex and would be happy if the relationship wasn't just about sex

    Somebody who isn't shallow.
    -Can be seen as ironic but I'd rather be with someone who's with me not for my body.

    Somebody who doesn't mind my strange interests
    -I like different things from the norm, like Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG, so hopefully you can put up with it.

    Somebody who allows me to focus on my job/football team/whatever when needed.
    -I prefer to work for the future and not the short-term and would love to continue my hobbies and/or work as much as possible.

    Somebody who doesn't get jealous that I'm out with friends
    -I will try and get you involved in what I do and I'll try get involved with what you do but it's not compulsory that we do the same things.

    Somebody who's between the age of 18 years old and 27 years old.
    -I'd want to be with someone who I can spend my life with. That and legal too.

    Don't be overweight/grotesque
    -Not that I don't mind 'bigger' people but I'd rather have someone who's got some meat on them, no sexual innuendo intended, than someone who looks like they could roll down a hill. But everyone is different and I can easily look past the weight aspect once we've met and I believe you're a really nice person. :3
    I agree on the local part, long-distance relationships are very fragile and they can really burn...hard...

    Overall, you got some nice points here but that's the one I feel the most experienced at.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aleu View Post
    They need to have some sort of initiative or motivation. An inner drive if you will. Too many times I have dated someone who doesn't know what they want to do with their future.

    I want someone who has their own opinion. None of this "oh whatever you want" crap.

    I want them to be truthful but still have their own space as I request for myself. Some things just aren't worth talking about.

    I don't want clinginess. It's such a turn off.

    Also absolutely NO CHILDREN.
    I have to agree on the first two points, a relationship without passion for life and determination is just eh :c

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigercougar View Post
    I am in a relationship. I'm too lazy to list all the qualities I prefer in a mate (), but I'll tell you that when you find the right one, they may have qualities that you didn't know you liked in a partner.
    True.

    The beauty of life is that it can always surprise you when you least expect it, and when you walk with someone you are falling for everything becomes fireworks, haha.

  6. #6
    Junior Krazoa's Avatar
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    I'm not in a relationship at the minute and not interested, well I am interested but it's because I'm still in love with him. Despite the fact he left me *due to reasons that I understand completely and do make sense* I still want him but here are the 'must haves' when it comes to me and relationships.

    Communication - This is even more important to me than it was before, I don't like it when people aren't honest with me and tell me what is and isn't on their mind. I don't mean like straight away but at some point and not months later.. <<;

    Not a sex toy - Basically.. I don't want a relationship where there is sex all the time, I wouldn't mind it once in a while but every weekend.. now that would drive me crazy.

    Love me for who I am - I've seen a lot of people take an interest in me for all the wrong reasons... like oh i'm single and so are you, I don't wanna be lonely anymore and many more pointless ones. I also want them to accept me for who I am and not ask me to change.

    Be able to handle my crazyiness? - Yes I'm not exactly the most normal person in the world... I like to go chase glowy things, and be all cat like, except the cat likeness is in my personality naturally xD none of it is forced so quite often I meow by pure accident.

    Must be a reasonable distance away - By this I mean, easy enough to get to but not right next door. I like a bit of distance but if they lived at the other side of the country from me. I just couldn't handle it.

    Do not become a stick of glue - I don't mind the odd clingy moment but please, don't get too clingy where you've got to stick with me everywhere I go. I do like my personal space from time to time ^^

    That's all I can think of XD

    I'm not too demanding but it's hard for people to earn their trust with me when it comes to this sort of thing. Especially since the whole break up <<;

  7. #7
    Junior Algorithmus's Avatar
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    I'm not looking for relationships either, but it's mostly because I don't see the point. I don't trust anybody enough to want to be with them in a relationship, and because I don't feel having a relationship over just plain friendship is that much of a benefit. I like having people I just call friends, that's good enough for me, and I don't feel lonely because I have them. And it's also because I don't like living with people. I just can't stand having to tell people where I am all the time and having to fit my schedule in with other people, or sharing stuff, or being told how I have to live because it inconveniences them. I'm introverted, so I need my alone time, or else I go nuts, and I see people enough at work, so I don't need it at home either, and I can otherwise choose when I want to see people.

    Oh yes, and I wouldn't want children either, and I find sex in general is too heteronormative, and I'm afraid people won't like that anyways because they have the wrong idea of how other people are able to enjoy it differently.

  8. #8
    Senior Sparky15756's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrakkarVance View Post
    I agree on the local part, long-distance relationships are very fragile and they can really burn...hard...
    I've tried long-distance relationships before, thrice, and I'm never doing them again. Though the guy I'm dating is five miles away and I used to think that it was too far away but it's not when I've got a bicycle and public transport in a city like Liverpool but he's only in university D:

  9. #9
    I am not in a relationship, nor looking.
    *Though I'd obviously like a creative thinker, and loves all forms of mind games/teasers.
    *While also staying honest, respecful(No random cuss outs, fights, or anything), tries to prevent fights, rather than fall in.
    *Is a good cook who likes to try different cultures food.
    *Other then that, doesn't change the meaning of words to fit their wants for talking(Have to much of that, with people using 'gay' 'Racist' 'immature' and so on around here. ).

    Oh and big thing ... NO Children, and no plans for it.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Algorithmus View Post
    Oh yes, and I wouldn't want children either, and I find sex in general is too heteronormative, and I'm afraid people won't like that anyways because they have the wrong idea of how other people are able to enjoy it differently.
    I don't understand this part of your post. Are you saying you're a homosexual? That you have some kink you don't share with most of the population? That you have a low libido...?

 

 

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