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  1. #1
    Senior Rsyk's Avatar
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    When Bad Movies Go...Worse

    Many people are aware that there are grades of film. You have the masterpieces, the good ones, and the bad ones. Certain films, however, get cult followings for being so bad, that you can enjoy them anyway. These are movies like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Room, and of course, Citizen Kane. (:V)
    That's not what this topic is about.
    I want to talk about the films below the so good it's bad. Films that fail so hard their failure fails to be entertaining. The kind of bad that deserves a warning label.

    Personally, I can only think of one movie off the top of my head. Ben & Arthur.
    It would take a long time to explain everything wrong with this movie, but to put it briefly...Think of every negative thing you hear about gay people. That they're prissy and effeminate in an embarrassing sort of way. That they're proud without having really done anything to earn it. That their relationships are rampant with spousal abuse. That they have no problem with lying and infidelity in a relationship. That they hold a smoldering lust for all men up to and including their own family members. All of the is true of the titular couple, Ben and Arthur. They did not go so far as to bring pedophilia into it, but I half expected a flashback sequence showing that Ben met Arthur at a public park when he was 23, and Arthur was 8.
    The worst part about it all is that this was made by a gay couple. Ben and Arthur are a real life couple, and, even though their relationship and life is nothing like that portrayed in the film, they still put this kind of material in the film. Granted, our "heroes" are not the worst people in the world, but that's only because everyone else in the movie is a completely psychopath. The other characters include Arthur ex-wife, who he is still married to at the beginning of the movie, and did not tell Ben about until their attempt at marriage failed. She's been married to Arthur for five years, three of which he's spent dating, and living with, Ben. She pulls a gun on him when he brings up divorce and says she'll go gay so they can be gay together and stay married. Ben's brother is the other major character. He's super Christian, and we can tell because he says things like "lord" and "jesus" every other sentence, and indiscriminately kills to get what he wants while claiming to be saving peoples souls.
    This movie is a perfect storm of shit. People who hate gay people will come away with all their preconceptions confirmed. People who hate Christians will come away believing that they should be fearing for their lives at all time. And people with even half a brain will come away wondering why the fuck they wasted a half hour of their life on this reeking pile of shit.


    So, anyone else got a movie like this?

  2. #2
    Banned Tycho's Avatar
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    Gigli

  3. #3
    Senior Aetius's Avatar
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    Turkish Star Wars

  4. #4
    Premium User FishNChips's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aetius View Post
    Turkish Star Wars
    What you talkin bout, son >:I

    That movie's purely amazing

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Aetius View Post
    Turkish Star Wars
    Turkish Doctor Who is magical too.
    Icon by Lingrimm.

  6. #6
    Retired Staff piñardilla's Avatar

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    Hey now, Rocky Horror wasn't bad at all. It can be hard to tell because it really takes the weirdness up to eleven, but all the cheesier elements of the movie (including Barry Bostwick) were what they were because RHPS was always intended to parody all the classic golden age sci-fi films. Perhaps it did that a little too well, but hell, Tim Curry's acting performance could have carried that movie on its own.

    Worst movie I've personally seen: A few Christmases ago my gf at the time talked me into seeing the (then) new Nutcracker movie. It takes some serious effort to make a travesty of something that barely had a plot in the first place, but they certainly rose to the challenge. A small sample: the toymaker became Albert Einstein, for no apparent reason other than to have an extremely subpar song about how "everything is relative", the rats became Nazis (Disneyfied of course) with jetpacks, and there was a motorcycle chase with gatling guns mounted on them.

    Also: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...BadItsHorrible
    Last edited by piñardilla; 11-27-2012 at 10:08 AM.
         
       
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  7. #7
    Retired Staff Tiger's Avatar
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    Worst movie I have ever seen: [i]They Saved Hitler's Brain[i/].

    The first 30 minutes of it, everyone dies. But after that, there's a whole new round of people. Turns out the first 30 minutes was a student made film that was not written in conjunction with the actual film.

    Which is terrible. It's long, there's almost no action, the characters are "meh", and at one point Hitler's head is in a jar in the backseat of a getaway car. I cannot possibly cover all the atrocity of that movie in words. I'd say go watch it yourself to find out what I'm talking about but I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

  8. #8
    Senior Kasune's Avatar
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    The old Night of the Living Dead was the worst movie I'd ever watched. For multiple reasons: I'm not a fan of horror, and it was just incredibly predictable.

    I was fifteen years old when I saw it (so, around 6 years ago). There was a part where a guy was standing at a window, and I guessed in my head a zombie is going to crash against the window, just watch.

    Lo and behold, it DID. Everyone around me screamed, while I just sat there with a straight face. It was boring, had a dumb plot, and it was just stupid and stale, IMO. I wasn't even scared.

  9. #9
    Premium User Oly's Avatar
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    Poultrygeist

    I am a fan of ironically bad - one of my comedy master influences is Tim and Eric - but I couldn't watch more than a minute, MAYBE, of this movie.

  10. #10
    The Howling 2, also known as Stirba: Werewolf Bitch

    The Howling had very innovative effects that stand up well today, a strong cast including cameos by several genre vets and favs, visual gags and a smart, witty, sharply written script.

    The sequel did not.

    Among its many delights are an extended threeway scene between "werewolves" who look like sweaty actors who rolled around on the unswept floor of a barber shop, the werewolf queen attacking her enemies by shooting animated laser bolts from her fingertips, a pterodactyl carving on a staff that comes to life and forces its way down a priest's throat, and - I kid you not - a zombie clown dwarf assassin. Somehow Christopher Lee got sucked into this mess as the werewolf queen's werewolf-hunting brother.

    As a horror movie it's absolute, unmitigated shit. But as a bizarro comedy, it's gold.

 

 

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