View Full Version : Looking for critique.

02-07-2014, 05:59 PM
Hello everyone. I have a short story series I'm currently working on, and would like some critique. The story is titled Peonies and Goose Down, and is about two friends in a small city facing separation after one family announces a move. I have the first draft of Part One online, and it is roughly 3000 words.

There's nothing terribly specific that I'd like critique on, but I would appreciate overall feedback on the story's 'readability,' and whether or not you simply enjoyed reading it. Plus, I'd like to simply hear what you think. I've been writing for about two years now, and really need the critique to be as honest as possible; I need to know if other people enjoy my work.

Thanks in advance. You'll find the link to the story below.


02-07-2014, 06:44 PM
Well, for anyone who's spent a significant amount of time to talking to people online, they've probably had at least one conversation that went exactly like this. It's pretty easy to relate to. I have a question, though: did you write out that entire chat, or was that something taken from a real one? 'cus my feedback sort of depends upon that. If it was the former, that's fairly impressive to be able to keep in character on both sides, and to capture the flow of how such a conversation might go down. While I'm a little put off by how much of this short story was a chat, that's just the traditionalist in me and I have to personally recognize that it's very reflective of our society nowadays.

I'm curious to see where you take this at the very least, and to see a larger sample of your writing. A large part of me hopes that you take a chance with this story to explore the complex emotions that arise from such a situation, rather than try to sum up everything in a tidy, happy forever after ending. It's your story, of course. :P

02-09-2014, 06:29 PM
Thanks for reading! I actually wrote out the entire chat from scratch, and I'm rather happy to see that it felt realistic.

And don't worry, parts one and two of the story take place away from the keyboard. If you'd like to see those and more of my writing, feel free to check my profile here on Weasyl. I have Peonies and Goose Down as well as another short story up there. Hopefully the ending satisfies. :P

Thanks again for the feedback. I really appreciate it.