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wwretched
02-01-2014, 08:55 PM
Anyone else here have any mental health problems?

I've been diagnosed with bipolar I disorder and am a likely candidate for bipolar-type schizoaffective. I've been diagnosed for about five or so months, but I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety before that. I'm currently on Latuda and Paxil and they're working wonderfully, no complains except they make it extremely difficult to lose weight. >n<

I've also suffered from anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder in the past (I went from one extreme to avoid the other, and back around again.) I'm currently looking into another therapist who focuses specifically on eating disorders so I can get over my fear of relapsing into any one of them.

Anyone else have any disorders? How do you deal with them? What medications are you on, if any? Share your stories!

TheLexicon
02-01-2014, 09:10 PM
For all I know I could be psychotic. I know something's wrong, as I've relapsed into having anxiety problems and I've established a symbiotic depression, but I have no method of figuring out what or how to get any help I might need.

Since the OP has been professionally diagnosed with it, I might as well ask what kind of symptoms there are to having bipolar disorder, seeing as I'm likely to have that but I have no way of verifying it. I know there is a book of all these mental disorders and they have a handy list of symptoms and prerequisites before one can actually be professional diagnosed with a certain mental disorder, but I have no idea what it's called or where to look it up on the Internet.

Rory
02-01-2014, 09:17 PM
I know there is a book of all these mental disorders and they have a handy list of symptoms and prerequisites before one can actually be professional diagnosed with a certain mental disorder, but I have no idea what it's called or where to look it up on the Internet.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM for short. Take a look through it, but there are far too many cases of incorrect self-diagnoses out there. As you'll probably hear a million times, find good professional help, not just any. Takes a bit of research (you may have to step up and ask people around you), but it's worth it in the end if you can dig up the motivation.

Stush
02-01-2014, 09:28 PM
I've had lots of problems with anxiety and depression for the last few years, i've been on Lovan for nearly a year now, but I dunno if it's really working so well, so i'm gonna go and see if I an ask my doctor to prescribe me something else to see if that helps.

Just remember, everyone. When you're feeling horrible about all this stuff, just remember, it's not your fault. You're not a bad person. That's just your brain being a jerk and not knowing how to deal with its own damn chemicals.

Also, you get lots of hugs. <3 *Huuug*

Dreaming
02-01-2014, 09:47 PM
Nothing diagnosed, but I've had everything between schizophrenia and bipolar suggested to me... but yeah, nothing diagnosed here, which is apparently a blessing in disguise (ain't seeing the blessing personally)

Like, I struggled with a "situation" throughout and after college and I never sought any help for it, and now it's really biting me in the ass =P I went through a terrible hypochondriac/OCD stage too, there was other evidence that pointed toward an antisocial issue but it's all ancient history now

I've got some issues with memory, both long and short term. There's pretty much nothing I can remember about my life before college. There's a few hazy memories, but I've been told that the stuff in those memories never actually happened

-

owlette
02-01-2014, 10:09 PM
I always have the urge to seek out other people online who are going through the same thing I am, but every time I feel up to trying I just seem to get too nervous. It can be hard to reach out.

I've struggled with Bipolar I since my early teens. Diagnosed at 15, then again at 21 (I'm 22 now, 23 in March). I was also diagnosed with agoraphobia and panic disorder at 21. I'm currently on pretty heavy doses of Prozac, Seroquel, and Klonopin.

Bipolar runs in my family, and it honestly almost ruined my life. My mother and grandmother were unmedicated for the majority of my childhood, and it was tough for a while. Then it was my turn to take up the family heirloom, and things were pretty awful for a lot of years. I lost a lot of jobs, I failed out of school, I ruined a whole lot of relationships, I came very close to death..

I only say any of this because I can not believe how amazing it is to finally be medicated. I feel happier and more normal than I ever even believed was possible. My mom still struggles to take her meds, but I can't imagine going back to the way things were. I'm finally human. (:

All I can say is, if you suspect something might be wrong, go see someone! Like right now. Even if you just mention it to your GP, he'll be able to recommend something.

Ruggy
02-01-2014, 10:34 PM
I've struggled with anxiety since I was a kid, and depression since my teens. I thought it was normal to be awake until 4 in the morning because you heard a loud noise outside and were convinced it was the Apocalypse.

It took me a long time to seek any help for it, because I was convinced that I should just be able to pull myself up by my bootstraps, surely everyone feels sad all the time. Surely I only feel like a worthless, unlovable wretch who would only be doing everyone a favor by killing herself, because it's only a natural consequence of being someone utterly devoid of redeeming characteristics.

It's still kind of ruining my life. I still think about killing myself. I still can't eat anything without thinking about how fat, horrible, and worthless I am until I'm too tired to keep going. Sometimes I don't want to leave the house because I feel like people will be disgusted at the sight of me. I have panic attacks, sometimes for no reason, or sometimes about shit that makes no sense to panic about like the heat death of the universe. I will sometimes be so wracked with self-loathing and terror that the only thing I can do to stop thinking about driving off a bridge is hitting myself until I bruise, drinking, or vaping (not being specific on what, but it's probably not hard to guess.)

I eventually decided to seek therapy when the most compelling reason I could come up with to not commit suicide is that nobody would be as dedicated to taking care of my dog's weird health problems as I would. I still have trouble believing my family or friends aren't just tolerating me out of politeness. I fail to see anything about myself that inspires attachment.

Ley
02-01-2014, 10:42 PM
I try not to think about it too much, but I've been diagnosed Bipolar by three doctors, severe PTSD by two, with a healthy dose of anxiety, adhd and depression.

I generally don't think about it a lot. I just take prozac to not really think about it as far as anxiety goes. I go unmedicated for everything else.

I use my bipolar a lot as fodder for my art.

MEEHOO
02-01-2014, 10:43 PM
Well ive always had extreme social anxiety
It's difficult for me to talk to people . I want to but if afraid I'll say the wrong thing and offend someone
When I do talk I talk very quickly or quietly which annoys people


I've also been really depressed recently 2013 was honestly the worst year of my life
And I've still not recovered I have good and bad days


Apparently talking helps but my friends say talk to my mum and my mum either says "that's life"or "go see a doctor" so who the f do I talk to ?

Vae
02-01-2014, 10:54 PM
I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for about 9 or 10 years, and borderline personality disorder for about 4 or 5.
I have rapid cycling and mixed states. I'm pretty sure I also have psychotic features (even though I've always been scared to talk to a psych about that) because I sometimes start hallucinating and falling under delusions and completely lose all sense of myself when shit gets bad.

I was on antidepressants and a mood stabilizer, but the scripts ran out, and I haven't had transportation to go back and set up more appointments. I need to call them, and see if they can situate my visits somewhere closer, so I can actually get to them (as I don't have a vehicle), but that's just a matter of waiting until I can man up and actually make that phone call.
Because making important "official" phone calls like that scares the everloving shit out of me.

Right now, I'm regulating it mostly through a matter of willpower. Removing myself from situations and emotional attachments that will cause me to get overwhelmed. Looking at things coldly and analytically.
Also, with the occasional cigarette.

I was also anorexic late into high school, when I had a sudden fuckhueg bout of depression and just couldn't stomach food any more.
I ate maybe one small portion of food once or twice in a month, and I lost about 75 lbs in the course of half a year.
I looked damn good. I actually kind of wish I could go back to that, but I don't want my hair to fall out again.

I think my parents fighting so much in my childhood also gave me some issues with PTSD.
It's calmed down a lot, but even listening to people get into really yelly, screamy arguments used make my ears start ringing and my vision start swirling and blacking out early into my 20s.

Tiger
02-01-2014, 11:16 PM
I've got a long history, some of it's pretty private but I'll share here.

I was diagnosed in 7th grade with an eating disorder (not quite anorexia) and an anxiety disorder. I saw a therapist whose "therapy techniques" left me very scarred and I refused to see another one. I tried Paxil, Lexapro, Zoloft, and Xanax but none of them did a thing. I had a lot of problems socializing, too. In 9th grade my anxiety and depression became very severe but the only medicine I could get would be medicine from a psychiatrist, but because of my earlier therapist I refused any help or medication.

Stuff happened. And then I got over my fear of therapy and psychiatrists and all that. I've been on the same medication for 7 years now with a few pills on and off. I'm also currently in therapy and while I have no emotional/mental instability I still see her because she does wonders for my stress and feelings of being overwhelmed and sometimes really upset and lonely.

I do sometimes get bothered when people make fun of therapists and people that see therapists. Therapy is a really great resource if you find a therapist who works well with you- my current therapist is the 4th one I've seen and we get along really well.

So to anyone reading this, never be ashamed or afraid to seek help. Don't worry about other people, you need to take care of you before anyone else. To overcome disorders and depression can be a long, winding road, but I promise that if you seek the help you need you will be able to overcome obstacles like I have and many other people have, including some people in this thread as I read.

And lastly, if anyone reading this ever needs someone to talk to, my inbox is open and I will gladly chat with anyone who'd like to. :)

Willow
02-01-2014, 11:20 PM
I used to have really bad depression and anxiety in middle school. But I think both have gotten better over the years.

There was a point where I even considered taking anti-depressants but eventually decided against doing for a few reasons. The main one being that I was really young at the time this came about. So already it wasn't advised I take them and then after awhile I just realized I probably didn't need them.

Ruggy
02-01-2014, 11:33 PM
I do sometimes get bothered when people make fun of therapists and people that see therapists. Therapy is a really great resource if you find a therapist who works well with you- my current therapist is the 4th one I've seen and we get along really well.

So to anyone reading this, never be ashamed or afraid to seek help. Don't worry about other people, you need to take care of you before anyone else. To overcome disorders and depression can be a long, winding road, but I promise that if you seek the help you need you will be able to overcome obstacles like I have and many other people have, including some people in this thread as I read.

Related: If you start seeking help, and maybe some weeks you don't feel as shitty as other weeks, this does not mean it is time to stop going. It's really easy to try to talk yourself out of continuing therapy because you start to wonder if you're blowing your problems out of proportion.

At least, that's something I struggle with. And maybe other people do too.

Rory
02-01-2014, 11:34 PM
So to anyone reading this, never be ashamed or afraid to seek help. Don't worry about other people, you need to take care of you before anyone else. To overcome disorders and depression can be a long, winding road, but I promise that if you seek the help you need you will be able to overcome obstacles like I have and many other people have, including some people in this thread as I read.

And lastly, if anyone reading this ever needs someone to talk to, my inbox is open and I will gladly chat with anyone who'd like to. :)

Thank you for reiterating this. There are a lot of people who pan therapy, and rightly so in some cases; quite a few therapists do not belong in that position, but finding one that fits with you can be a lifesaver. I had one turn me around when I was younger, stopped me cold from going down a tougher path. She was a little crazy, but she got her point across and I really mellowed out. On some forums these kinds of threads forget to really hit home that it's good to talk to others, both in personal and professional ways.

So, likewise to my inbox being open. I sure as hell have my own problems, but things are different when it comes to being an ear for someone else.

Ibuuyk
02-01-2014, 11:43 PM
I was diagnosed with assburger when I was 10 and I've only had bad experiences with therapists and specialized educationalists and whatnot, so now I'm insane :3

Gamedog
02-01-2014, 11:54 PM
Diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and social anxiety disorder.

The first one has been hard for me to deal with, but most people are generally supportive of those with PTSD so that has been easy going. The second one is very hard to deal with, and most people just have the stupidest, most ignorant "advice" out there for depression. I've been told by family members to "just get out there!" and "just look on the bright side!" when I was at rock-bottom suicidal depression. My dad is horrible with depression and SAnD, he's made it hard for me to cope for a long time.

Social Anxiety Disorder is fucking horrible. It makes it nearly impossible to actually do anything in public. It was so bad a few years ago that I was almost crying when I had to walk into a fucking Burger King to ask for zesty sauce after they had forgot it in our drive-thru order. I had to send my sister in.

My dad tries to be supportive in his ignorant dad ways, and it makes it worse. The only reason why I am able to call up any places to order pizza or even walk into a fast-food joint and order food is because I've worked through my issues at my own pace. My dad claims that "I've had social anxiety too! Trust me! I used to get all sweaty and shake when I had to do speeches in front of my class in highschool!" but he doesn't understand it at all. Social Anxiety Disorder is not limited to speeches in front of your classroom, it's having panic attacks when having to make a doctor's appointment, it's putting off all appointments and social contact forever because you just can't stand interacting because it gives you panic attacks.

It took me 6 years to see a doctor about getting prescribed medication, and I now take Xanax for my SAnD and partially my PTSD. I take nothing for my depression.

Vae
02-02-2014, 12:00 AM
I'm just going to mention this in here, because it's about mental issues.

I'm scared shitless of xanax.
Like, it completely fucked up my mother. She had a seizure from withdrawal because of it. I've had more than a few close calls with her almost running off the road or hitting a car because she was falling asleep at the wheel.

So I don't think I could take it, even if a doctor sat down and told me it would solve all my problems like magic.
I just couldn't.

Gamedog
02-02-2014, 12:04 AM
I'm just going to mention this in here, because it's about mental issues.

I'm scared shitless of xanax.
Like, it completely fucked up my mother. She had a seizure from withdrawal because of it. I've had more than a few close calls with her almost running off the road or hitting a car because she was falling asleep at the wheel.

So I don't think I could take it, even if a doctor sat down and told me it would solve all my problems like magic.
I just couldn't.

I'm extremely careful with my Xanax. I never take it unless I feel a panic attack coming on, for this exact reason.
It's a highly dangerous and addictive drug.
Unless you do the research beforehand and do not have addiction running in your family, do not jump onto Xanax. Look into alternatives first.

TeenageAngst
02-02-2014, 12:24 AM
I was diagnosed with bi-polar and depression when I was a teenager by 2 separate doctors. I tried medication for about 2 years and it succeeded in making me less depressed but more angry and had some pretty bad side effects, but I kept with it trying different combinations and adjustments. I eventually started taking Paxil and that I had a terrible reaction to, so much so I ended up dumping all my psychotropic medication and promptly telling my doctor I will not be scheduling any more appointments. I also had a therapist I was seeing during this period as well who I also told was no longer necessary. Since then I've developed panic attacks and my anxiety has waxed and waned. However I've come to realize my anxiety and depression and stuff are all rooted in reality and caused by completely rational things. If I'm on the verge of being broke, I have anxiety. If I'm lonely living by myself, I'm depressed. It's all relative.

If and when I do want a break from reality I end up self medicating with ample amounts of alcohol or other drugs and just chilling for a while. Because if I'm going to be on medication designed to make me feel better it might as well get the job done right, all at once, and without all the nasty side effects. Needless to say I'm a firm supporter of pulling one's self up by their bootstraps. There are some times I could use things like lorazepam to help me take care of business, but it's hardly necessary. I try not to let my mental issues interfere with my life. I'm also extremely distrusting of the psychiatric industry and would trust a street peddler before a shrink.

DivinePrince
02-02-2014, 04:26 AM
Generalized Anxiety Disorder severe enough to discuss getting Disability Benefits to help me along with independence.

I am a former recluse because of this disorder. I am currently trying to figure out how things in real life work. Like banks.




But eh. Other than that and a few leanings into OCD, ADHD and Chronic Insomnia ( my psychiatrist has said I have tendencies in these directions) I'm okay. I'm a really happy, energetic person. And I do get down, but I bounce right back up again.

Xolani
02-02-2014, 06:24 AM
I used to suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and clinical depression, but I've managed to beat them, thankfully.

DameGreyWulf
02-02-2014, 08:33 AM
I suffer from depression, anxiety, and autism mainly. Maybe insomnia, I'm not really sure about it. Hard for me to sleep, but once I do it's hard for me to get up. This week already I slept 20 for hours, though I guess to be fair I had been off my meds for a few days and that usually makes me feel shitty.

I don't deal so well. I mostly just exist instead of live.

EGKangaroo
02-02-2014, 08:50 AM
I don't know. I know there is definitely -something- wrong with me, but I do not want to indulge in any form of self-diagnosis because that's a notoriously inaccurate way to find out about your own problems. I mean, if I did go to a psychologist, I am sure they'd find at least a few mental disorders somewhere in me, but I revile having to go to one of them.

I -was- almost diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder once - I think asperger's - and I had a very bad experience with the whole process. That rat of a councelor at school began harassing my mother, and the GP, because he was so hellbent on having me diagnosed with it, that he actually called and verbally threatened the GP, and he sent the child protection agency on our arses. When my mum and I had to go and talk with a child agency worker, she concluded that there was nothing wrong, that my mum was definitely not abusive and I was definitely not at high risk of "blowing up the school" (Apparently they thought I was going to) and the report was basically destroyed then and there.

So as of then, I don't trust going to any mental health professional about my problems, especially school counselors.

Gamedog
02-02-2014, 09:05 AM
That rat of a councelor at school began harassing my mother, and the GP, because he was so hellbent on having me diagnosed with it, that he actually called and verbally threatened the GP, and he sent the child protection agency on our arses. When my mum and I had to go and talk with a child agency worker, she concluded that there was nothing wrong, that my mum was definitely not abusive and I was definitely not at high risk of "blowing up the school" (Apparently they thought I was going to) and the report was basically destroyed then and there.

So as of then, I don't trust going to any mental health professional about my problems, especially school counselors.

I have had this exact same scenario play out with school counsellors. They're absolutely horrible, and then once they get Child Protective Services involved, you are kind of fucked because they've got more power than a simple school counsellor, they've got backing from the city/state and can get permission to routinely visit and come inside your home to try and find any single thing wrong with your house or family that they can grab so they can drag you and your parents into court for child abuse or neglect.

CPS is horrible. Absolutely corrupt, dangerous, disgusting, and horrible. Anybody who hasn't had personal experience with them will not have this view.

When I was younger, around.. 13, my brother was blabbing at his school about how "weird" and "depressed" I was, going so far to call me "suicidal". Of course, the teachers told CPS all about this and CPS, despite never meeting me before that point, were determined to put me on lithium. I've never seen them, never met them, don't even know their names, but they had dragged my dad into the school and talked to him about putting me on lithium, to which he said no way and walked right out of the meeting.

Since that moment, CPS continued to harass my family until I turned 17-18.

Never trust the words of a social worker in a school in regards to diagnosing your mental illnesses. Ever. EVER.

Vae
02-02-2014, 09:36 AM
I'm really glad that none of my teachers were nosey enough (or gave enough of a shit?) to call CPS when I was very, very obviously on the verge of being suicidal and also self-harming.
Because that would have been shit and a half to deal with. And I guarantee you my parents would have handled it in the worst way possible, meaning they would have just bared down on me with strict "quick fixes" that don't actually work and just make things way worse in regards to mental disorders, like taking away my computer.

EGKangaroo
02-02-2014, 10:38 AM
Maybe I was just really lucky that the CPS worker was just a really nice and understanding woman who saw how much bull the whole report was, that the thing was destroyed. It could have ended up a lot worse for all I know. And all the stress of having to go through those stages of diagnosis and therapy would only add even more to the burden I already had to deal with, and I was already nervous as hell for a heart surgery I had to undergo that summer.

I wouldn't say that they were entirely wrong for thinking that I had some mental problems. I -was- definitely facing depression related to school and I basically flunked the year, but to think back of that time, I realise how bizarre it was indeed, when the counsellor actually personally visited my house at some times for talks with my parents and such, unannounced. And for a moment, he really pulled my strings to get me to agree to the whole diagnosis, that it was somehow a smart thing.

I still see him at school sometimes. He still says hello to me whenever we cross paths, and I just smile as politely as I can, and try to avoid talking to him.

wwretched
02-02-2014, 11:43 AM
For all I know I could be psychotic. I know something's wrong, as I've relapsed into having anxiety problems and I've established a symbiotic depression, but I have no method of figuring out what or how to get any help I might need.

Since the OP has been professionally diagnosed with it, I might as well ask what kind of symptoms there are to having bipolar disorder, seeing as I'm likely to have that but I have no way of verifying it. I know there is a book of all these mental disorders and they have a handy list of symptoms and prerequisites before one can actually be professional diagnosed with a certain mental disorder, but I have no idea what it's called or where to look it up on the Internet.

Sure, I'm happy to answer any questions you might have. The book you're looking for is called the DSM! And as for the symptoms, the most major one is mood swings. Everyone has them, but for bipolar disorder I experience them to extremes. I switch between depression and mania (an extreme elevated mood--lack of self control, high energy, rapid speech, etc. Imaging chugging two red bulls!) on a pretty regular basis. My swings usually last anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple of weeks with occasional normal moods in between. I also rapid cycle through the two extremes, but those are rare moments.

Another part of the bipolar disorder is psychosis, and the reason why schizoaffective is a likely diagnosis. I have hallucinations as well as delusions. I hear things that aren't there, mostly voices, as well as see and feel things. Like I'll feel large wounds on my skin or a million bugs crawling around. My delusions are false beliefs about stuff, for example: I had to pay off a speeding ticket and I was convinced that when I went to pay it I was going to get thrown in solitary confinement for the rest of my life. Or another one is that black trucks are the FBI coming to get me.

I suggest you look into finding a psychiatrist or talking to your doctor! Make sure you're seeing a psychiatrist though, they're a literal doctor who can make a diagnosis and prescribe medication if need be. Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you have any more questions!

JackalTeeth
02-02-2014, 04:34 PM
I've lived with diagnosed depression for as long as I can remember. I've only recently developed anxiety problems within the past few years due to things stemming from diagnosed PTSD. I was medicated (anti-depressants) at one point many years ago, but had stopped taking meds a few months in because they made me too tired and uninspired to do anything.

I'd like to think I'm doing okay with the exception of two or three hiccups within the past couple years.

Ratte
02-02-2014, 04:59 PM
Run-of-the-mill anxiety disorder with a huge 5 scoops of depression, though thankfully they just don't seem to be a problem anymore. I still don't like to be in crowds of people, but it doesn't drive me as batshit as it used to. Was diagnosed when I was about 12-13.

I don't know if I ever had any kind of PTSD, but I can say that living in an abusive household for a long time and having been flashed and received "the bad touches" among other gross shit, I had a really weird fear of men for a very long time, only really getting over it about a year or two ago.

I'm not sure if insomnia counts but I have the hardest time falling asleep or getting tired enough to sleep, but when I do fall asleep I need 9-10 hours to feel rested, or 5-6. If I get 7-8 I feel like a zombie.

BlissfulOblivion
02-02-2014, 05:57 PM
Bipolar-II wooohoooooooooooooooooooo
But I have meds. That work. For the most part. I think. I've felt better since I've been on them? So I assume they work pretty well? Also having a good psychiatrist has helped a lot.

farorenightclaw
02-02-2014, 06:46 PM
i have bipolar II disorder (meaning i have hypomanias instead of full manias), which is rapid-cycling. i also suffer from anxiety disorder NOS, and PTSD. Life is tough! i had a great therapist for a long time, and a really good psych, but i just moved and am having a hard time finding new ones. Right now i'm on Lamotrigine (Lamictal), Abilify, Trazodone, and Escitalopram (Lexapro). It's working really well :)

TheLexicon
02-02-2014, 09:21 PM
To everyone that says that there is nothing stopping you from getting help, that's not exactly true. I know I can't, because I have a family who's autistic son is likely their greatest shame, and has tried to force me to be "normal" throughout my childhood, didn't even tell me I was diagnosed with AS until years after the fact, and would obstinately refuse to believe there is anything wrong with me now that I'm "fixed".

Which basically means I have to figure out where to find a psychiatrist or two, find someone willing to keep a secret and offer me a ride, because I live too far away from such a place and I have no desire or intention to drive so long as I live, and take any prescribed meds without my family discovering anything, assuming that I would take anything prescribed to me.

You can probably tell I'm fairly vexed about my current situation. I can't trust anyone IRL with such personal matters, not even the people who can point me in the right direction, because then my ruse is ended because I live in a puny community. I can hardly speak to my friends, the few people I feel I can partially trust, in real life, and the one idea I have on getting help has proven to be untrustworthy. And that's assuming there is a single living soul that would want to help me. And then there's understanding how all this appointment stuff works here, because I grew up in so isolated an environment I don't understand anything even the dumbest person could explain to me. But I guess it's really my own fault for being so deplorable, so ignorant, so anxious a person that I can't do anything to help myself or anyone.

Sorry for the rant. I think about this a lot, and I don't get to vent often, if at all. My overall point is that there is always something trying to stop you from helping yourself or getting something you need. Always.

TeenageAngst
02-02-2014, 10:56 PM
I'm pretty sure every fuzzball on here has been diagnosed with something at one point or another, and thusfar I think I'm the only one not currently taking psychotropics. The question is, is this an accurate sample of the overall population, does the fandom provide a sympathetic outlet for the mentally stressed where it is perceived as higher, or does the fandom naturally attract people with mental diagnoses?

Also, I'm disappointed this wasn't posted yet. (http://youtu.be/O_1ruZWJigo)

Rory
02-02-2014, 11:05 PM
I'm pretty sure every fuzzball on here has been diagnosed with something at one point or another, and thusfar I think I'm the only one not currently taking psychotropics. The question is, is this an accurate sample of the overall population, does the fandom provide a sympathetic outlet for the mentally stressed where it is perceived as higher, or does the fandom naturally attract people with mental diagnoses?[/URL]

I don't wish to discuss my issues too publicly on here, but no I do not take medication and I haven't since my mid-teens when I told everyone I could do it without meds. The side effects were terrible and took me years to recover from, but I ended up doing great in a good university without ever taking a single drug, legal or illegal (unless you count alcohol, though only for social stuff).

I'd lean toward the middle of the options. There's not any real way to accurately find out the first or third options (the best you'll probably get are self-reporting surveys). We could more accurately say, though, that on average it at least seems furries are more willing to discuss the less desirable sides of themselves more openly than in other facets of their lives. I'm even a little surprised by how open people in this thread have been, and I've been in and out of the fandom for seven years now.

Gamedog
02-03-2014, 12:29 AM
I think it's the latter. Many of us have anxiety and issues talking with people or socializing. It's much easier for us to socialize online.

Tiido
02-03-2014, 10:08 AM
I am diagnosed with depression but I am not letting it bother myself a single bit. As long as it keeps me out the army I'm fine with that diagnosis... The meds I am supposed to take suck the life out of me, so they remain unused.

Pine
02-03-2014, 11:20 AM
I was diagnosed with depression when I was in middle school, and had poor anger management skills throughout high school. The depression started to go away and I eventually got off the meds, and after therapy and AM classes I've learned to control my anger 90% of the time.

wwretched
02-03-2014, 11:59 AM
I'm pretty sure every fuzzball on here has been diagnosed with something at one point or another, and thusfar I think I'm the only one not currently taking psychotropics. The question is, is this an accurate sample of the overall population, does the fandom provide a sympathetic outlet for the mentally stressed where it is perceived as higher, or does the fandom naturally attract people with mental diagnoses?

Also, I'm disappointed this wasn't posted yet. (http://youtu.be/O_1ruZWJigo)

I'd have to say that fandoms provide an outlet for the mentally stressed. I know it's true in my case, and I know it's true in the cases of others. In reality, it's about 1 in 5 that are diagnosed with a mental illness, but on here and other sites it appears to be every 4 in 5. Birds of a feather flock together I suppose, and I don't have any statistics or anything but I believe that the mentally ill are more likely to be creative than the rest of population simply because there's a need for an outlet. Of course, I could be wrong but that seems to be the general consensus??

Dreaming
02-03-2014, 01:14 PM
I'm pretty sure every fuzzball on here has been diagnosed with something at one point or another, and thusfar I think I'm the only one not currently taking psychotropics. The question is, is this an accurate sample of the overall population, does the fandom provide a sympathetic outlet for the mentally stressed where it is perceived as higher, or does the fandom naturally attract people with mental diagnoses?

Also, I'm disappointed this wasn't posted yet. (http://youtu.be/O_1ruZWJigo)
Common observation in many online communities. You'll find a high concentration of people struggling with [insert variety of mental health struggles], the 'net is an easier environment for many people


Birds of a feather flock together I suppose, and I don't have any statistics or anything but I believe that the mentally ill are more likely to be creative than the rest of population simply because there's a need for an outlet. Of course, I could be wrong but that seems to be the general consensus??
I guess. Creativity can increase as a result but it can also stagnate and drop

Ratte
02-03-2014, 01:23 PM
I was diagnosed with depression when I was in middle school, and had poor anger management skills throughout high school. The depression started to go away and I eventually got off the meds, and after therapy and AM classes I've learned to control my anger 90% of the time.

I gotta say I find that pretty surprising since you've always seemed to be pretty laid back from my perspective.

I can sorta tack on anger management/EBD to mine but that was the result of a lot of shit going on with school, family, and other things, and not something innate. That was a bad time.

Ruggy
02-03-2014, 01:48 PM
I'd have to say that fandoms provide an outlet for the mentally stressed. I know it's true in my case, and I know it's true in the cases of others. In reality, it's about 1 in 5 that are diagnosed with a mental illness, but on here and other sites it appears to be every 4 in 5. Birds of a feather flock together I suppose, and I don't have any statistics or anything but I believe that the mentally ill are more likely to be creative than the rest of population simply because there's a need for an outlet. Of course, I could be wrong but that seems to be the general consensus??

I know I spend more time on the internet if I'm feeling particularly neurotic than I would otherwise. If I feel particularly twitchy, anxious, and at risk for a panic attack, I'm going to opt to stay home rather than go out to a crowded bar with friends. (Panic attacks in public are mortifying, and make me feel guilty for worrying my friends.)


I guess. Creativity can increase as a result but it can also stagnate and drop

My own personal, anecdotal experience of depression is that I find it very difficult to be creative. I lack interest in anything. I think of drawing something, and I immediately think of how pointless art is, how awful my art is, how shitty and unworthy my interests are, and I just end up sitting in darkness, feeling paralyzed. It's the same for any other hobby I may have. Video games? Pfft, even more worthless than art. Exercise? Why bother trying to fix up a shit house, I will always be awful and awful-looking. Reading? To what end? Fiction is useless, and I'm too stupid to learn anything new. And so on and so forth.

And anxiety is too all-encompassing to really make any art out of, for me. Why draw when I am afraid of the literal end of the world? Who could be productive when we're all going to drown, or choke in ash if the Yellowstone caldera goes, or get bombed, or all the other stuff that is kind of pointless to worry about (not that it stops me)? Usually my only way out of anxiety is to just talk myself into feeling regular-awful ("why does it matter if you die, you deserve it anyway") whiiiich is just as dysfunctional and useless.

It's decent fodder for artwork after I've sludged in the direction of being somewhat functional again, but yeah, it has a pretty negative impact on creativity for me, personally.

Gamedog
02-03-2014, 06:49 PM
Was panicing pretty bad last night, did not have a good time.
Took Xanax, and instead of remaining a sobbing mess I basically just laid around on my bed laughing at my cat and then passed out dead asleep for like 12 hours.

KumatoraKazooie
02-03-2014, 07:30 PM
I'm an Aspie myself near the high-functioning end of the spectrum (diagnosed when I was 11, originally thought to have ADHD instead because I had a hard time staying in once place for too long, had trouble concentrating and I was easily distracted).

I have trouble communicating because I talk to fast and try to finish people sentences because I am so impatient and my brain runs faster than my mouth, and I may talk to loudly, especially when I'm excited. I also have a hard time understanding when someone is joking or not, especially my dad and have a bit of trouble keeping eye contact during a conversation. I tend to watch the person's mouth instead. Additionally I have a skin and scalp picking habit (addiction?) which usually happens when I'm bored and/or my hands have nothing to do.

Right now I take Zoloft to take care of my impulses dnd it seems to be working. Having a toy do fiddle with and keeping myself busy while my life is in limbo has helped as well.

BlissfulOblivion
02-03-2014, 08:07 PM
I, personally, am just really open about almost everything about me, including my mental illness. Idunno about anyone else.
Maybe we should include mental illness in the furry surveys to actually see if we do attract more or if we're just open or something? It would at least be interesting.

Tycho
02-03-2014, 08:19 PM
Bipolar Disorder (Type II), been diagnosed as such for almost 20 years now. A bunch of other things as well, including anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and a few other Axis-2 disorders.

Gamedog
02-03-2014, 08:26 PM
I, personally, am just really open about almost everything about me, including my mental illness. Idunno about anyone else.
Maybe we should include mental illness in the furry surveys to actually see if we do attract more or if we're just open or something? It would at least be interesting.

Based on the amount of self-diagnosis and "I'm pretty sure I have", chances are the survey would not be an accurate representation. I imagine we'd see a whole lot of "I'm skitzafrenick x3!!!!!!!" in the survey answers.

TheLexicon
02-03-2014, 10:37 PM
I'd have to say that fandoms provide an outlet for the mentally stressed. I know it's true in my case, and I know it's true in the cases of others. In reality, it's about 1 in 5 that are diagnosed with a mental illness, but on here and other sites it appears to be every 4 in 5. Birds of a feather flock together I suppose, and I don't have any statistics or anything but I believe that the mentally ill are more likely to be creative than the rest of population simply because there's a need for an outlet. Of course, I could be wrong but that seems to be the general consensus??

You're technically correct, but I would phrase it another way. Creativity is essentially born of isolation. Many, almost all, great writers and artists were typically introverted, or at the very least preferred deep thought to discussions with other people. Introverted people in general are more creative because the process for conceiving ideas involves deep and contemplative thought, which is far more successful a venture when taken in solitude.

This is essentially why people with mental illness tend to be creative; their mental illness tends to make them antisocial as they are less likely and able to make friends and successfully interact and connect with others on a daily basis, which leads to isolation and deep thought. Because introverted people in general tend to find it easier to clearly communicate messages through writing rather than speaking, they typically come to enjoy hobbies such as writing, drawing, and other solitary activities that allow them to express the creative thoughts and ideas they conceived during deep thought.

This is where the outlet part comes in, especially among like-minded people, because the stories and art they create are better understood by those who share a similar mind, which in turn allows for them to feel connected to another person, a feeling normally foreign to them. From there, interests are shared and soon, when patterns form and one single similarity becomes apparent to all members, an Internet fandom is created for the sake of being a creative outlet for those who feel isolated from society because of their mental abnormalities or unorthodox personality.

At least, that's how I think of it, and I'm always wrong. *shrugs*


My own personal, anecdotal experience of depression is that I find it very difficult to be creative. I lack interest in anything. I think of drawing something, and I immediately think of how pointless art is, how awful my art is, how shitty and unworthy my interests are, and I just end up sitting in darkness, feeling paralyzed. It's the same for any other hobby I may have. Video games? Pfft, even more worthless than art. Exercise? Why bother trying to fix up a shit house, I will always be awful and awful-looking. Reading? To what end? Fiction is useless, and I'm too stupid to learn anything new. And so on and so forth.

As someone who feels similar about themselves, I agree almost completely with this. However, people deal with emotions in their own way. You and I are both creatively demoralized because we see no reason for expressing our thoughts and feelings and think it best to internalize it all. But other people will use how they currently think and feel as an inspiration to communicate a message they feel is not often heard, but very important nonetheless, through their artistic talents, sometimes even as a way to reach out for help, because, as I've stated earlier, introverted people typically communicate better through writing and art than speaking.

Don't really take anything I'm saying here as undisputed fact. For one, I am building off the assumption that most every creative person online are introverted by nature, which is not necessarily true, just highly probable. And the human mind is an incredibly complex mechanism, just as complicated as the structure of our universe if not moreso, so it is extremely difficult to accurately pinpoint the behaviours of specific individuals due to the fact that no two people are completely alike in thought process and behaviour. Everything I've said here is only theory, but it is highly probable because many studies have concluded that these behavioural traits are liable to be with someone naturally introverted.

Vae
02-04-2014, 09:29 AM
I find that I'm the most creative in regards to mental illness when I'm deeply entrenched in a borderline-masochistic sense of self-loathing. The kind where you would thank someone for coming in and unloading a shotgun on you, because you "deserve it." It's when ideas flow into execution the best, and I'm at the peak of my creativity.


I, personally, am just really open about almost everything about me, including my mental illness. Idunno about anyone else.
I'm not going to run up to someone and go "lol hi im biPolurz", but I don't give a shit if someone asks. It's just a facet of my life, like anything else. A fucking annoying one, but it's one I have to live with, nonetheless, so why shame myself for it?

JiJi
02-04-2014, 09:55 AM
Probably not in the same ballpark as most of the folks here, I have ADD.
Not ADHD apparently , no hyperactivity (although I am sure I have moments as my friends and family have told me too.)
I can't seem to make myself do any activities for long without doing something else, I'm meant to be watching a vocal training video, I've passed it up twice now. Now I'm aware of it I'm getting better with it. My days are scheduled, I exercise to burn energy (and feel better) and I make goals of my uni and personal studies weekly.

Infestissumam
02-04-2014, 12:51 PM
Everyone has mental health problems. There are no normal people.

Except for me, I've never been diagnosed with anything. Mostly because I haven't ever seen a therapist or psychologist. Someone profits if you get a prescription, so I've never really been able to trust that.

TeenageAngst
02-04-2014, 04:06 PM
Everyone has mental health problems. There are no normal people.

Except for me, I've never been diagnosed with anything. Mostly because I haven't ever seen a therapist or psychologist. Someone profits if you get a prescription, so I've never really been able to trust that.

That's my #1 reason for refusing psychiatric care. I can't trust those quacks any further than I can throw them. They get special perks in the form of anything from lunches and office supplies to vacations and cruises from the drug companies in exchange for peddling their miracle pill du jour. The reason is the drug companies spend millions sometimes hundreds of millions developing these pills and they need to make sure there's a market. And the doctors know if they play ball they're gonna keep getting kickbacks. So then you have mass misdiagnosis, huge numbers of people of psychotropic medication, and the side effects and addictions just pile up.

Another problem is the diagnosis removes the incentive for the individual to improve themselves. Sometimes mental illness is incurable (chemical imbalance), sometimes it's temporary (PTSD or substance withdrawal), and sometimes it's not illness at all but just a natural reaction to what's going on in your life (my namesake). Regardless there's almost always steps a person can take outside of medication to improve or control their symptoms. However, once you have that diagnosis this suddenly goes out the window in the minds of some patients. It's not your fault you have depression, so why should you have to try to change who you are? OTHER people should accommodate YOU! It's seen time and again in the physically disabled/ailing and the same thing happens with some people who are clinically diagnosed with mental illness, regardless of the caliber. Hell, it happened to my dad who's both.

So yeah, I don't wanna be a part of any of that. Once the psychiatrists in America clean up their act and stop peddling snake oil and kerosine and calling it a medical practice, and maybe after a few formal apologies on the part of whatever group writes the DSM, I'll start taking it seriously as a branch of medicine. In the meantime I have tried and true medications that work wonders when I need them. I call it tylenol for the soul.

zarya
02-04-2014, 07:16 PM
I have/had really, really bad depression. I went on antidepressant meds - an overdose - and became worse, after getting off other SSRIs that did nothing. And schizoaffective, oh Jesus. I don't really trust psychiatrists anymore other than to get benzos once in a while. Seriously, fuck SSRIs with a stick - I almost died a few times undergoing paroxetine treatment. Stomach problems, convulsions, hallucinations -- the whole deal. They killed my memory, my personality, anything. At least, with benzos, those help for sure when I have psychotic, dissociative, or panic-attack episodes - though benzos are really, really addictive, and I nearly started hasving WD symptoms at one point.

Depression episodes were/are really really long, grueling, and intense. I figured at some points, I just totally lost my mind. Psychotic episodes are not fun. Everyone knows how panic attacks are. Overall, I lost a ton of friends online because of it. "You're pushing me away" or "pretend to be happy at least" or some BS like that. Sigh.

People really hate you if you have depression. I get a lot of cold shoulder. "Friends", family, what have you - my parents don't really believe depression exists. I had a panic attack recently, in front of them, they told me to stop having a temper tantrum. My father says to man up about my issues, because everyone has them. Oh, God, how the lack of support will really drive you insane.

Depression is a dark, dark illness, and I loathe to see how misunderstood it is. It hurts to see. Of course, people will feel powerless - but so is the depressed one. They can only do so much to "help themselves" - while perhaps overdiagnosed, it's clearly a real thing.

But I did some things that really really helped me recently, and I've felt really good. Wonder to see how that'll go.

BlissfulOblivion
02-04-2014, 07:48 PM
Everyone has mental health problems. There are no normal people.

Yes and no? Yes, everyone has some psychological issue, that's just the way life is; but not everyone has a diagnosable neurochemical imbalance which is kind of what mental illness is. With some exceptions. Like PTSD.


I'm not going to run up to someone and go "lol hi im biPolurz", but I don't give a shit if someone asks. It's just a facet of my life, like anything else. A fucking annoying one, but it's one I have to live with, nonetheless, so why shame myself for it?

Uhm... of course not? I didn't mean that I do that? Just that I don't actively hide it? Because most of the people I talk to do. That's all I meant.

Gamedog
02-04-2014, 08:23 PM
Everyone has mental health problems. There are no normal people.

Except for me, I've never been diagnosed with anything. Mostly because I haven't ever seen a therapist or psychologist. Someone profits if you get a prescription, so I've never really been able to trust that.

If "normal" means someone without mental health issues, how does one qualify for being abnormal? Do the people who self-diagnose themselves with all sorts of yooneek, speshul snowflake disorders count? Or are they normal because they don't actually have those disorders?
Do you have to be diagnosed by a professional to be considered abnormal? If that is the case, we abnormal people are probably in the minority.

Ruggy
02-04-2014, 08:38 PM
Yes and no? Yes, everyone has some psychological issue, that's just the way life is; but not everyone has a diagnosable neurochemical imbalance which is kind of what mental illness is. With some exceptions. Like PTSD.

And even if it is something like PTSD, without a source in some sort of neurochemical disorder, that doesn't mean it doesn't have a disruptive effect on your life. Whether your problem is effed brain chemistry or you can't stop reliving something horrible, if it affects the way you function, it's a problem nonetheless. And only the person experiencing something can really judge how bad it is for them.

Though I would advocate for trying to learn non-chemical coping methods, even if you do have a brain-situation that requires chemical intervention. You never know when insurance is going to screw you over, or the pharmacy's decided you've had too many of something this month and won't fill your script for a week.

TheLexicon
02-04-2014, 09:21 PM
I find that I'm the most creative in regards to mental illness when I'm deeply entrenched in a borderline-masochistic sense of self-loathing. The kind where you would thank someone for coming in and unloading a shotgun on you, because you "deserve it." It's when ideas flow into execution the best, and I'm at the peak of my creativity.

I tried venting my own masochistic feelings into writing once. By the time I finished my first draft, I was so disgusted with myself for being such a bad writer I didn't bother trying to polish the piece of shit. I just can't pour my own feelings into a story as I'm writing it, I can't write or create anything founded on emotions. But to each their own, I guess.

wwretched
02-04-2014, 10:35 PM
Everyone has mental health problems. There are no normal people.

Except for me, I've never been diagnosed with anything. Mostly because I haven't ever seen a therapist or psychologist. Someone profits if you get a prescription, so I've never really been able to trust that.

I feel you on that. I once went to a psychiatrist who had a prescription filled out before I even walked in the door. There's some shady as fuck people out there, but there's also some good people. Honestly if you do your research you might be able to find someone who will work out well for you! I kind of got lucky with my current psychiatrist because he's also my family doctor and has been treating my family for about 20 years now. But not everyone out there is looking for a paycheck, so just try to keep an open mind if you really think you have something? Of course, if you don't think you have any disorders or such then there's really no need to go and seek help but just know that not everyone's an asshole.

AineCleine
02-05-2014, 12:38 AM
After reading some posts in here I feel quite lucky of not suffering any sort of mental disorder. Quite glad to read many could overcome some of them and many are dealing with them in some sort of way. Good work guys.

I only tend to speak alone at times, like some sort of reflex after thinking too much about something... ah, an a short memory. Can get distracted by anything and forget stuff really easily. I donīt think any of this are worth a check, *sigh* no one is normal.

Vae
02-05-2014, 01:22 AM
I remember when a previous doctor had me on 1000mg of Depakote, and it fucked my shit up. Couldn't sleep for an actual, full week. Kept having hallucinations. Kept having cold sweats. Everything was spinning and making me sick. I was having heart palpitations. I literally thought I was going to die.

And then I brought this up with him, and he wanted to put me on double the dose, instead.
Yeahno. I got a different doctor real quick after that.

I think Depakote also fucked me up in regards to school, because I was given it when I was first diagnosed, and I couldn't do anything except sleep constantly, which led to me missing a lot of school because I just could not wake up enough to do it.



Uhm... of course not? I didn't mean that I do that? Just that I don't actively hide it? Because most of the people I talk to do. That's all I meant.
I wasn't implying that you did. I was just agreeing with you.
Because there are a lot of people out there who think that, if you're open about a mental disorder, that you're also faking it and / or running around trying to get attention from it.
And I was just making that distinction.

BlissfulOblivion
02-05-2014, 01:29 AM
I wasn't implying that you did. I was just agreeing with you.
Because there are a lot of people out there who think that, if you're open about a mental disorder, that you're also faking it and / or running around trying to get attention from it.
And I was just making that distinction.

ohhhohohohohohohoh okay okay sorry :u
Yeah :c I know one who thinks that. Ironically she thinks so because she has some narcissistic personality type disorder and thinks I'm doing it to get her attention :c It sucks.

TeenageAngst
02-05-2014, 02:07 AM
Because there are a lot of people out there who think that, if you're open about a mental disorder, that you're also faking it and / or running around trying to get attention from it.

Because let's face it, a lotta people are. It's a convenient inconvenience at times and lots of people like to shirk responsibilities, so hey, they just couldn't make it that time because they were having an "episode", what do ya know.

Infestissumam
02-05-2014, 12:09 PM
Yes and no? Yes, everyone has some psychological issue, that's just the way life is; but not everyone has a diagnosable neurochemical imbalance which is kind of what mental illness is. With some exceptions. Like PTSD.


If "normal" means someone without mental health issues, how does one qualify for being abnormal? Do the people who self-diagnose themselves with all sorts of yooneek, speshul snowflake disorders count? Or are they normal because they don't actually have those disorders?
Do you have to be diagnosed by a professional to be considered abnormal? If that is the case, we abnormal people are probably in the minority.

It was a sarcastic jab at how everyone ever seems to get diagnosed with some form of nuerochemical imbalance when seeing a psychiatric doctor person, not a serious judgement.

Amaranth
02-05-2014, 03:33 PM
I think ADHD is considered a mental disorder, in which case, yes, I have been diagnosed with that. I have had it at least since I was about 11, and took medication for it (concerta) for 2-3 years, and then my parents decided to take me off of it because it's "addictive" and because my cousin grew out of it, so therefore I shouldn't need it anymore. (They claim I was the one whom decided to go off of it, however I think that I went with their notions and not with my best interests.)

It was not until my fiancee was diagnosed and started taking medication (adderal) that I started thinking about it again and realized that I had never actually grown out of it at all. I realized that if I had continued on concerta, I would likely have done SO much better in school, and likely I would have done better in my beginning years of digital art. I've drawn and done art all my life, but few of those years I have been able to be treated for my ADHD. I finally feel normal, being able to take medication for my mental condition, and it feels great being able to just be able to focus a bit for once. You still obviously need discipline, if you don't aim your focus at the right thing/s, you'll just end up focusing on what you want to focus on, like video games or drawing instead of other important things that you really should focus on.

Other than ADHD, I haven't really been officially diagnosed, but I suspect I also have anxiety and depression. My fiancee also has anxiety and depression, and we are thinking bipolar as well (he has been seeing a therapist, and obviously his doctor too, to figure things out), so I am familiar with the symptoms and how it effects people. I try not to self diagnose, but evidence would lead me to believe that anxiety and depression are likely to be ailing me. It is difficult to deal with, at times, but I seem to have some sort of super power to just hang in there no matter what... it's like that move in Pokemon where you can use the most powerful move on an opponent and it will still have 1 hp left. I am often "left at 1hp" and then have to recover, but still it is rough being knocked down to that level so much.

I try to keep positive and optimistic, but it does become difficult / taxing. I am so glad I have art as an outlet. I find myself wanting more than anything to draw when I'm out and stressed (like at work) or doing something generally stressful. It's like an escape to another world!

BlissfulOblivion
02-05-2014, 04:30 PM
It was a sarcastic jab at how everyone ever seems to get diagnosed with some form of nuerochemical imbalance when seeing a psychiatric doctor person, not a serious judgement.

o h h
jfc I'm doing really bad with understanding people right now for some reason ; o ; sorry! But yeah. Idunno.
I've never actually had any bad experience with psychiatric doctors; my own psychiatrist actually warned me about going on meds and was really apprehensive about doing it :I So I've never had any bad experiences with psychiatry and the like. It sucks to hear about how most of the field operates ;m; It can be life saving if done right ; o ;

Sonata
02-05-2014, 06:00 PM
Oh yes I will jump in this thread. I have anxiety and it's closely linked with my asthma. I also have depression, not clinical, but borderline. I also believe I have ADD however I haven't gotten diagnosed for that yet, so it's just a guess for now. I am pretty moody and I also think I am an empath, according to the research I have made.
That is all for now. And while I don't have anything else, I have however been a witness to many disorders in others. Kinda funny, really, never thought I would get used to these things but somehow I do now.

blau
02-08-2014, 04:24 PM
I have borderline personality disorder, or something close to it v_v Also struggle with things like addiction/self harm, but I guess that's also a part of the bpd?

Aetius
02-11-2014, 04:33 AM
ENTJ personality and very stable. Always doing my best to stay neutral and calm when shit breaks down.

dirtypaws
02-13-2014, 12:43 AM
borderline, which i have mostly under control without medication (was on it for a long time), and anorexia, still recovering. i hit my lowest point Fall of 2012, where you could see most of my ribs, but i've cleaned up and gone vegan and that's helped me be a little more okay with eating. working on overcoming severe social phobia and depression, one step at a time! also working on getting control of my skin-picking disorder, but that's giving me a bit of trouble as i tend to pick the most when i'm anxious.

Icy Jellyfish
02-15-2014, 12:42 AM
I've been diagnosed with depression since I was about 12 or 13.
More recently, the doctor said I most likely have bipolar depression. Meaning I have high points for no reason and then feel extremely sad for no real reason.
I have social anxiety and I have a hard time leaving the house to go out in public.
I was diagnosed with schoolphobia and dropped out of highschool in the middle of tenth grade.
I also have short-term memory loss. It sucks so bad. I forgot lots of things instantly and have a hard time remembering things.

I'm currently on one medication (though I don't know the name right now, I forgot).
It works good and it helps.
Other things that help are drawing and talking with my girlfriend.

On a positive note, I am also currently doing an online grooming program to acquire a lifetime certification as a professional pet groomer. I just started a few days ago, so I'm on my way.

I'm also available to talk to if anyone feels they need someone to talk to.
I've been dealing with depression almost half my life, as I am 20 years old now.

MongooseApples
02-28-2014, 08:37 AM
Whoa, I'm jumping on board pretty late here, but I'll bite.

I was diagnosed with depression in middle school - 11 or 12 - but it was something never really looked at. But in high school, I was re-evaluated and diagnosed with severe clinical depression, to the point where I had to be medicated heavily. All the women in my family have it, and my biological father had manic depression.
To top it off, I had some pretty...unfavorable events in my childhood. I was doomed.

Well, the medication dosages were so high that I overdosed. Now, my memory's shot, so I can't remember things very well, not even what events happened in the last year or two (unless said events were pretty big, then I can recall).
I also have panic attacks often.

I can't take medications from that company anymore, due to them closing my charts. They were royal butt-holes. I can't get a new therapist because of my insurance. pfftpfft
I'm figuring things out myself, I suppose.

Daisy La Liebre
03-19-2014, 07:51 AM
Been really depressed for a few months now, and I started breaking down crying at work when anyone started talking to me and I just wanted to run away. Work has been supportive though and set me up some therapy and have been really understanding in general. I'm going to see my doctor soon because I've been in this serious low for a long time now. I have a phobia of medication though, but Paxil might be nice. Apparently it brings you to a nice baseline instead of zombied out, and you can mix it into your food instead of taking it as a pill. That might be better for me because of my extreme phobia of pills.

melk
03-21-2014, 11:45 PM
borderline, which i have mostly under control without medication (was on it for a long time), and anorexia, still recovering. i hit my lowest point Fall of 2012, where you could see most of my ribs, but i've cleaned up and gone vegan and that's helped me be a little more okay with eating. working on overcoming severe social phobia and depression, one step at a time! also working on getting control of my skin-picking disorder, but that's giving me a bit of trouble as i tend to pick the most when i'm anxious.

I'm recovering from anorexia too. After a few years in and out of treatment, I have it mostly under control. I know how hard it can get, so if you ever need a judgement free confidant, or really just someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

blackfurredfox
03-22-2014, 02:10 AM
This is actually the first time I think I've seen this thread so ill throw in my hat. Im schizophrenic (knew that one) and was diagnosed with another anxiety disorder when I was at Lackland. The only reason though it was an anxiety disorder diagnosis was because the people at BAS told me that for a PTSD diagnosis would take much longer. Skipping the reason for the potential PTSD diagnosis, ill say MED-HOLD was odd. Everyone there who had mental issues was open about it. Even though I was there for a heart issue the Nutters took me in after I got back from BAS because of my first suicide attempt. It was odd,how nonchalant we (the Nutters and I) were about our disorders/problems/attempts. It was like since we were all mentally unfit I felt a certain acceptance there. There was one absolutely crazy son of a bitch though, threatened to kill people, alo. Eventually though one night he had an episode and the next morning he waas gone. They took him away to the pych ward. That was my biggest fear, the psychiatric ward was for the beyond redemption time to doe em into a coma kind of crazy. I swore if I was sent there though I would succeed in some way to end it. Im begining to ramble though, so yeah, anxiety disorder (anxiety attacks are a bitch) schizo, depression,and OCD (also a bitch een if my wallet is organized like a mother fucker and my hands are immaculate)

Ruggy
03-22-2014, 03:44 PM
Been really depressed for a few months now, and I started breaking down crying at work when anyone started talking to me and I just wanted to run away. Work has been supportive though and set me up some therapy and have been really understanding in general. I'm going to see my doctor soon because I've been in this serious low for a long time now. I have a phobia of medication though, but Paxil might be nice. Apparently it brings you to a nice baseline instead of zombied out, and you can mix it into your food instead of taking it as a pill. That might be better for me because of my extreme phobia of pills.

It's awesome when work is understanding. My boss's kid has had to see therapists and psychiatrists before, so when I had a breakdown in the middle of the workday and couldn't get my stuff done, she just talked to me about it instead of being all "TOUGH SHIT, GET IT DONE OR YOU'RE FIRED."

I finally convinced myself to seek medication, too. After three months of therapy, I haven't been able to shut the obsessive thoughts off or even deal with them in a constructive way (it's difficult to fight a constant stream of "you're dying, dying soon, and you deserve it you fat useless faggot, never amount to anything, better off for everyone killing yourself" day in and day out with just logic and breathing exercises, I guess.) It's... I dunno. Different? I think it's supposed to take a few weeks to reach therapeutic levels, but the stuff I'm on has a bit of a sedative effect and honestly, I'll take that over spending all day convinced I'm dying, all food is poison, and I need to sleep on the floor because I don't deserve blankets or mattresses. I'm still a bit stoned on it at the moment (that's supposed to abate after a few weeks), but it is better.

So I guess, if you need it, don't worry about having to seek medication. It's kind of a relief, honestly. Hopefully it will be for you, too.

Alec
03-23-2014, 04:55 PM
Ah wow it's really comforting to see a lot of people on the same boat or on similar ones on here. (●˙▿˙●)

Though I know plenty more in my real life experience that are dealing with the same problems, I also get how god damn hard mental disorders can be, no matter how minor. I myself am diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety, I'm taking medication for the former. It actually took me a while to finally decide it's best to medicate myself than to keep trying to make myself better on my own (it was getting impossible, and quite a bit dangerous), and it helped a ton. ( ī ▽ ` )

And just a quick and loving reminder to everyone that seeking help, both from therapists and from doctors and medication is always important and always valid. And that your mental health is just as (if not more in some cases) important than your physical health, and is often correlated. So don't forget to take care of yourselves! (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C)

TeenageAngst
03-29-2014, 03:52 AM
I had a mental health issue during my month long sabbatical. I ended up asking the doc for help and agreed against all my better judgement to try a little pill called Effexor. The reason being, it was an SNRI as opposed to an SSRI so it stood to reason this might actually work. Well, it didn't. Some time between projectile vomiting at 3am and getting brain zaps during midterm week the doctor decided it was a bad idea and took me off the medication. I also went to see a school therapist about my anxiety and stuff, who directed me to various other administration to deal with college and career things. After getting off the pills and getting down to brass tacks regarding internships and my gpa I was so improved that for my follow-up appointment a week later my therapist said I basically didn't need to sit there for the full hour and that I probably don't need to come back for any more appointments unless things get worse. I went from a nervous wreck to fine in the course of a week thanks to finally getting some direction. I've started working out with my friends, taking advantage of office hours, eating more, sleeping more, and getting things done to move myself towards finding a real job. All without pills, or rather all in spite of pills.

So yes, as I stated earlier, pills are snake oil and should only be used in extreme measures. I subjected myself to a 4th battery of experimentation just to be absolutely sure of this fact. Oh and one last thing, the pills have almost ubiquitous sexual side effects that in this case prevented me from becoming romantic with an adorable and incredibly patient and understanding Columbian girl. Take that into account before committing to antidepressants.

Hewge
03-29-2014, 03:53 AM
Of course not!

Hahaha -cries-

heavecleaver
03-29-2014, 06:30 AM
Oh my. What a sad and fascinating subject.

It's a strange feeling y'know, having everything you want in life but still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling in some kind of stasis, waiting to die and fantasizing about witnessing the extinction of our filthy species. Doesn't make much sense.

Major depressive disorder and violent panic attacks. (At least, that's what the official paperwork says).

To date, in order:

- Ritalin
- Dexedrine
- Adderall
- Xanax
- Zoloft
- Effexor (trial #1, stopped for stupid reasons)
- Welbutrin
- Celexa + Ativan
- Celexa + Abilify + Ativan
- Cymbalta + Ativan
- Symbyax + Ativan
- Viibryd + Xanax
- Viibryd + Invega + Xanax
- Viibryd + Latuda + Xanax
- Effexor + Xanax (current)


My current combination of effexor + xanax has brought me out of a deep pit for the first time in years. I feel human again, I want to live and love and make friends. I wouldn't be here typing this right now if not for that. Took a lot of trial and error, four doctors, patience, money, patience and a little more patience, but so far it seems we've found the right key on the massive ring. Hoping it stays that way.

The brain is a pretty fucked up, intriguing mystery. For some it just needs to be hammered back into shape.


PS: My heart goes out to all of you that may be suffering with this perfectly imperfect organ.

Gamedog
03-29-2014, 08:21 AM
Yesterday I had my dad berating me over my misophonia, that was really fun.

Loukas
03-31-2014, 01:29 AM
I was diagnosed with major depression and general anxiety back in August. I've only had two friends my entire life because of how difficult it has been to 'get outside of my head'. I'm 21, completely estranged from my family, and utterly failing at life. I dropped out of school in tenth grade. I'm being evicted with nowhere to go. I'm losing grasp on reality and existence is becoming chaos, unreality, nightmare. I feel like a complete disappointment to everyone. My performance at work is shotty and inconvenient, I fear homelessness will become my main mode of living eventually. I pray and hope for friends and comfort and love but my failures and bad memories keep sucking me down. I go for days without talking to anybody, and I feel like I'm "not real". I have tried prozac, celexa, and abilify, but they have all given me Akathisia as a side-effect and I had to go off all of them. My psychiatrist is acting like there is nothing else to try and it's terrifying. I trudge along my one-hour walk to work every day, bracing the cold and my whirpool of negative thoughts along the way. I dunno.

therainbowtroll
03-31-2014, 01:12 PM
I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety disorder with a hint of OCD and Major Depression. Sometimes I find it very difficult to deal with especially with the recent passing of my puppy. He was more or less a therapy dog.

I have had many panic attacks in my day and visited the hospital more then once due to mental health issues. Sometimes it feels as if the emotions in your body are causing you real physical pain and that scares the shit outta me. I am currently on the highest dose of my meds and its been fine more or less.

The funny thing is I also work with mental health lol. I am currently studying it in school and work on a crisis hot line. Its really interesting talking with clients about the same meds I take lol. But in all honestly I find it fananating the whole mental health thing. Its something I naturally understand and I like working with people and helping them.

I want to work with my mental health problems to help others with theirs.

StripedPan
04-01-2014, 09:27 PM
Though I have yet to be "professionally" diagnosed (will be on the 9th of this month by a psychiatrist), I have symptoms of bipolar disorder and/or cyclothymia, major depression, and more than likely anxiety piled on top of that. I've had major anxiety attack where I start crying for no reason, I can't breathe, and I feel like I need to hide away.

An attack like this happened once when I was being driven to a class by my mother, and she was yelling at me because I forgot something and wanted to turn around after she offered to turn around, though she didn't want to. She kept going, and after 10 minutes of sitting in the car crying I finally managed to go inside. Instead of going to my class though I had to go to the bathroom next to my classroom so that my crying wouldn't disturb the class. Apparently my teacher saw me do so, because after class had ended and I went back out to the car, after a minute or two my teacher came outside because I guess he saw me crying when my mom was talking to me outside. She asked him how I was during class and I internally started to freak out, but my teacher said that I was great and that I was a joy to have in class. That was the point my mom offered me to him to keep instead of her, and after that we shortly left. It was horrible, but the teacher was amazing. Sadly I no longer have him as a teacher though.

Might post again when I get officially diagnosed this month to recap, but we'll see.

Matt Conner
04-01-2014, 10:00 PM
I'm lucky enough to have no real mental health problems. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one of my friends who doesn't, especially among the furs. They tried to peg me with ADD/ADHD but after a battery of tests they couldn't find anything conclusive. They tried to give me some bullshit like I had "ADD tendencies" (read, am a kid who is bored by school) and they put me on concerta, but I just didn't take it or dismantled the pill to get rid of the timed release and took a few for some jollies. After a month I told my parents they didn't work. Some people might like to tell you that I'm an addict, too. Maybe I'm genetically predisposed to addiction, given my dad's side of the family's history of alcoholism, it's plenty likely. I believe it's a matter of will though. Moderation is possible even for those with this predisposition, and I have demonstrated to myself that I am more than able to adjust my consumption based upon my financial situation, responsibilities, and health. I'm not accusing anybody here, but it seems like these days people are easy to peg somebody with a mental disorder, and people are equally willing to accept it because they have shortcomings and they think medication will automatically fix their problem. Nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions, nobody wants to admit that they're just a dick/lazy/immature or whatever. Goodness no, it's ADHD or aspergers or OCD, it's not -my- fault. It's just stupid because not only does it contribute to the victim mentality and the drug abuse problem of this country, it also negatively impacts people who have legitimate mental problems and actually need help. Is anybody else with me on this or am I about to get flamed?

Matt
04-01-2014, 11:17 PM
Hi.

I'd like to step in and make the point that this topic is for the discussion of the concept and experience of mental disorders. It was made evident in the original post that this discussion is being carried out under the shared assumption that these disorders are real. Having opinions on the quality of the DCM or the practices pharmaceutical industries is not out of order in and of itself, but interjecting in this thread to disregard on the entire mental health community and those treated within it is tantamount to disregarding the experiences of nearly everyone in this thread.

If one wishes to discuss the veracity of various scientific practices, they are free to start their own thread. Evidence along with opinion would be even better. However, if anyone wishes to cast aspersions on psychiatry, psychology, therapy, and the like, this is not the thread to do it in. Here it's not on topic and here it's an insult.

Thanks to everyone for understanding.

therainbowtroll
04-02-2014, 08:02 AM
Hi.

I'd like to step in and make the point that this topic is for the discussion of the concept and experience of mental disorders. It was made evident in the original post that this discussion is being carried out under the shared assumption that these disorders are real. Having opinions on the quality of the DCM or the practices pharmaceutical industries is not out of order in and of itself, but interjecting in this thread to disregard on the entire mental health community and those treated within it is tantamount to disregarding the experiences of nearly everyone in this thread.



If one wishes to discuss the veracity of various scientific practices, they are free to start their own thread. Evidence along with opinion would be even better. However, if anyone wishes to cast aspersions on psychiatry, psychology, therapy, and the like, this is not the thread to do it in. Here it's not on topic and here it's an insult.

Thanks to everyone for understanding.

Thanks Matt! Thats exactuly it man. cheers.

TeenageAngst
04-02-2014, 01:41 PM
I find it insulting my years of dealing first hand with borderline malpractice and psychotropic side effects are being discounted for the sake of other people's sensibilities.

lorenith
04-02-2014, 04:15 PM
I haven't taken any medicine in a while, mostly for financial reasons though. I was seeing a psychiatrist in tandem with a councilor at college, since it was more affordable to do so through the college. And during that time we tried me on quite a few different medicines (for acute anxiety and major depression).

Unfortunately, I don't really react too well to most medications. I can't take SSRI's at all, and all my doses had to be child sized and sometimes cut in half!

My councilor wants me to look into getting medicated again once I've sorted out my health care related things. I'm much better now than I was back in college. You know I don't feel like passing out asleep the moment a small amount of stress comes into my life, but I still get very down and demotivated in a pretty reliable cycle. I don't really want to go through the trouble of trying to take medicine again to be honest, it's expensive to change a lot, and it's very physically and emotionally taxing on top of that.

I saved up some money and had myself more formally diagnosed (you know where they do a battery of tests on you over the course of several days, rather than just the councilors diagnoses so they can medicate you/send you to a psychiatrist). I still need to have some more biological things checked on like my hormones but they were at least able to check my wiring so to speak as well as various things on the scale.

My anxiety has largely gone away, although I still have depression, and we discovered that I don't learn in a way "that follows any recognizable pattern"

That was actually the most interesting thing I learned from doing that battery of tests, other than that my artistic training invalidated the Rorschach test (and apparently musicians often invalidate auditory tests, so I bet most people on this forum would invalidate the rorschach!)

The way I learn has led up to a lot of dysphoria regarding my own intelligence, because I know I'm pretty smart, but I learn slow, and often get confused easily until I fully understand something, so people often treat me really poorly simply because they think I'm too stupid to notice. That dysphoria and treatment from others caused a lot of my depression, and simply learning what's going on a little better has gone a long way to lessening my bad moods. He also found other weird things, like overtime doing a task I actually get better rather than worse at it.

I also apparently have some attention issues, but not enough to say I have any actual disorders, and am so bad at math that if I were to go back to school they'd be required to give me extra time/help with anything math related.

I wish I hadn't gotten so many question marks from the testing, I got a false possitive for ptsd as well, but I am in the long run glad to have learned to understand what is going on with my mind.

therainbowtroll
04-03-2014, 11:18 AM
Medication is good but I sometimes think its used too much.

Mental health can be greatly improved by:

Diet change
Exercise
Counselling/Theropy
Hobbies

And changing your siduation (moving out, disconnecting with harmful people ect)

Ruggy
04-03-2014, 11:50 AM
Medication is good but I sometimes think its used too much.

Mental health can be greatly improved by:

Diet change
Exercise
Counselling/Theropy
Hobbies

And changing your siduation (moving out, disconnecting with harmful people ect)

True! But, to reiterate, if those things all fail, and you're still plagued with, say, thoughts of how horrible you are and how you're probably best off killing yourself, seeking medication is not an invalid option.

It took me a while to accept this. I spent so long so upset that all of the exercise, better diet choices, and therapy (I wish I could've felt interested in hobbies, but it all felt like pointless faff) didn't help because I felt that I, personally, had failed. I was doomed to be this way forever because I could not talk, eat, or run my way out of it.

Now I'm on a mood stabilizer and it has honestly helped. The obsessive/compulsive thoughts are still there, but they hit less hard. It feels less real/distressing when I think, "You're going to die soon. You're going to die now. Now. It's now. And you deserve it, you fat useless faggot fuck." (It still sucks but it's like someone's turned down the speaker, at least.) I still don't understand why my friends put up with me and lack any real sense of self worth, but it's much easier to talk these things out now in therapy.

I guess I had to slow the thoughts down enough to catch them and even begin to try to train myself to think differently? I don't know. I'm less miserable more often now.

But everyone is an individual. I guess the trick is to figure out what you, yourself, need, and try not to let whatever stigmas you've internalized stop you from pursuing it. What works for someone else isn't necessarily going to be what works for you.

lorenith
04-03-2014, 01:01 PM
Medication is good but I sometimes think its used too much.

Mental health can be greatly improved by:

Diet change
Exercise
Counselling/Theropy
Hobbies

And changing your siduation (moving out, disconnecting with harmful people ect)

I haven't yet found a doctor that over prescribes, but I'm the sort who doesn't take medicine if I can help it. And when I was taking medicine they had me on the smallest dose possible.

And my councilor is a medical councilor too, and she respects that about me, she still has a few ideas of things I could try out, not all of which are mental health related (such as birth control, since a good portion of my bad moods coincide with the week or two before my period, since my cycle tends to run 32-40 days the time just before it where my hormones are being stupid tends to be longer and more drawn out than is normal I guess).

Don't need to tell me about any of that non-medicine stuff , I already do it because I rather not take medicine if I can help it. Especially since I haven't yet found one that works properly for me.

therainbowtroll
04-03-2014, 01:16 PM
True! But, to reiterate, if those things all fail, and you're still plagued with, say, thoughts of how horrible you are and how you're probably best off killing yourself, seeking medication is not an invalid option.

It took me a while to accept this. I spent so long so upset that all of the exercise, better diet choices, and therapy (I wish I could've felt interested in hobbies, but it all felt like pointless faff) didn't help because I felt that I, personally, had failed. I was doomed to be this way forever because I could not talk, eat, or run my way out of it.

Now I'm on a mood stabilizer and it has honestly helped. The obsessive/compulsive thoughts are still there, but they hit less hard. It feels less real/distressing when I think, "You're going to die soon. You're going to die now. Now. It's now. And you deserve it, you fat useless faggot fuck." (It still sucks but it's like someone's turned down the speaker, at least.) I still don't understand why my friends put up with me and lack any real sense of self worth, but it's much easier to talk these things out now in therapy.

I guess I had to slow the thoughts down enough to catch them and even begin to try to train myself to think differently? I don't know. I'm less miserable more often now.

But everyone is an individual. I guess the trick is to figure out what you, yourself, need, and try not to let whatever stigmas you've internalized stop you from pursuing it. What works for someone else isn't necessarily going to be what works for you.


Oh yeah for sure. Medication has helped me so much. I am acctully able to think and do things now that Im up a bit. I feel normal.

Medication isent bad. But it can be over used by doctors beacuse the counselling system is full or they dont know how else to deal with it.

Many of the people on my crisis line do NOT want to take meds but feel pressured from thier doctors. Its just a nice alternative for thous who dont want meds.

But if NONE of these things work for a long time they should look into it. With a responsible doctor on your side health is not far away.

Ruggy
04-03-2014, 02:04 PM
Oh yeah for sure. Medication has helped me so much. I am acctully able to think and do things now that Im up a bit. I feel normal.

Medication isent bad. But it can be over used by doctors beacuse the counselling system is full or they dont know how else to deal with it.

Many of the people on my crisis line do NOT want to take meds but feel pressured from thier doctors. Its just a nice alternative for thous who dont want meds.

But if NONE of these things work for a long time they should look into it. With a responsible doctor on your side health is not far away.

I agree it's overused for a lot of stuff. Especially in kids. A psychiatrist would not be (and wasn't) my first stop on my Journey to Being a Kinda Functional Person, Maybe. (For one thing, holy hell are they expensive.) It was very much a "what is your problem and how can I fix it with medication" visit (perhaps in part because he knew I was already seeking therapy) but it was something I'd already come to the conclusion I probably needed.

I confess to not having felt any pressure from my doctors to be on drugs that I didn't want to be, but then, I had a hellacious problem even convincing my parents I had a problem as a kid, which I imagine is where most of that pressure is. I had to wait until I was an adult to seek help.

I've had a lot of people in my life telling me that I'm basically still anxious/sad/hate myself because I'm not trying hard enough, though, including my parents. And if that's a message you've received, it's hard to even consider anything that's not basically treating mental illness like it's vulnerable to punches, stiff upper lips, and being out-macho'd.

"If you can't do anything about it, why worry?" Uh, I don't know, maybe that's why they call it an anxiety disorder. "Just try not to worry!" JUST BE BETTER AT MANAGING YOUR ANXIETY, GOSH.

"Just fill your day with positive thoughts!" Uh, thanks, but, I have no idea how to stop the shitty ones long enough to fill my day with anything else. I clearly haven't conveyed the compulsive and distressing nature of the hell that is living inside my head.

"Have you tried exercise?" "Yes." "What have you tried?" "Tae kwon do, running, and weightlifting?" "... Oh. Has it helped?" "Not really." What did you think I was going to say? 'Oh, I walk around my house and look sad, that's my exercise'? So you could swoop in with your sage advice?

"Have you tried aromatherapy/acupuncture/herbal supplements? I just don't trust modern medicine." (This one I haven't internalized, I just included it because that crap infuriates me.)

"Your life is fine, why are you sad?" I don't fucking know! "Depression is such a first world problem, get over yourself." Is it? Then why is India so depressed (http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/india-named-worlds-most-depressed-nation-2325927.html)?

So it was hard to admit to myself that maybe I couldn't be the self-reliant BAMF that just does a few pushups and screams at an eagle and feels better about everything, and actually go seek help. Doubly hard when I realized I might actually need medication.

I guess having any kind of mental illness means you just get to deal with mixed messages all over the place, which sucks when you're in a particularly vulnerable place.

Edit: If I sound annoyed, it is not at you or anyone in this post. It's just... in general.

lorenith
04-04-2014, 10:43 AM
It sounds like you know a bunch of people that know exactly how not to talk to someone with depression and anxiety, it normally makes me feel worse when people talk to me like that.

I think the hardest thing for me is how "invisible" a thing mental illness is, even when it's right in someones face. I actually discussed it with disability services some when I was at school still. And there's no easy way to deal with it in regards to work or school. You can tell them and risk getting rejected even though it's not really legal, or you can not tell them, and face trouble later on if something flares up real bad. I've lost friends because of it too, although I suppose if their response to my moods is to avoid me and then get mad at me when I am unhappy that they are avoiding me they weren't really as good of friends as I had thought..

As far as psychiatry goes, I think it may be dependent on the doctor? Two of the psychiatrists I had at school were very good, my last one didn't just try to throw medicine at me. He would talk to me in length about how I was feeling and we worked really closely to make sure I was happy with the medication we were trying because I kept having nasty side effects. (he also would ask about how my counseling sessions were going, and talk to my counselor sometimes). My first psychiatrist was like that too (they rotate, I think most of the psychiatrists at my school were doing their residencies or something)

One in the middle was awful though, I saw her twice, and was like, no this is not acceptable treatment. I'd walk in she'd ask me if I was feeling addicted to my medicine, no, ok, write a refill and send me away. She wouldn't ask about my mood, or how I felt about the medicine or anything, and well it really isn't acceptable in my opinion, even though this is apparently how most psychiatrists operate. When I switched to a different one he was happy to take me off of the ssri's and try me on something different, and that did work quite well for a while.

Ruggy
04-04-2014, 11:24 AM
It sounds like you know a bunch of people that know exactly how not to talk to someone with depression and anxiety, it normally makes me feel worse when people talk to me like that.

I doooo. I didn't know I did, though, until I actually started seeing a therapist who more or less told me that those kinds of sentiments were pretty damaging because of course the "just get over it" attitude is unreasonable. But it took me until I was so low that I decided I either needed to seek help, or kill myself (because continuing to exist like I was would have been unbearable) to even seek the therapy that let me know that everyone in my life had been wrongheaded about the whole thing. (And I was actually kind of annoyed that I had a dog to take care of because it meant I had to pursue the option that I'd been convinced was For The Weak.)

It's hard to be afflicted by something that is so invisible and so easy to dismiss as "in your head." I'm sorry you've lost friends over it, that's awful. :C I guess they weren't Real Friends if that's what made them take off, but it's no less sucky.

My boss' kid has also had to deal with anxiety and depression, so when I came to my boss and said, "I'msosorryIhaven'tgotmystuffdone I've been having breakdowns all day sorrysorrrysorry I'll work over the weekend." She was understanding and talked to me about it, and didn't make me work over. I was terrified I was going to be told to "buck up, buttercup, or GTFO" or just let go, but I wasn't.


As far as psychiatry goes, I think it may be dependent on the doctor?

I'm sure it does depend on the doctor. Hell, even therapists are hit or miss. The first one I went to wasn't bad, but I felt really pressured to just Be Better. This guy? If I'm doing great one week and he's happy for me, but I come in next week and I've just backslid straight into hating myself and wanting to die, I feel totally comfortable telling him about it.

The psychiatrist was very much in-and-out, here's your script! But I was up front about already seeking therapy, I don't know if that I had anything to do with it. I really was just there seeking medical assistance, because talking it out hasn't been sufficient.

I feel like I probably do need to find a different psychiatrist, but auughh they are so expensive and I am so goddamn broke. ($225 for a first patient visit?! Jesus.) And my insurance only covers psychiatric stuff after I've hit a $7500 deductible, so they basically don't cover it. I seem to be doing okay on the tegretol, and my bloodwork is okay (though it's only been a couple of weeks) so I guess I'll ride it out until it turns out I need to be on a different medicine? Eghh.

Mental health is really fucking expensive and that bothers me. You know what else is expensive? Funerals. Aughhh.

lorenith
04-04-2014, 12:18 PM
It really sucks that your insurance doesn't cover it at all till after the deductible, I noticed when I was shopping around that a lot of insurance companies don't cover mental health at all (again the invisible illness strikes). If it helps any, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas seemed to cover mental health care on all its plans when I was looking. (well not all mental health, some stuff is up to X% after deductible, but office visits and stuff are just a co-pay of variable amount depending on the plan). They aren't open for enrollment currently, but I know they will be again later this year.

Ruggy
04-04-2014, 01:08 PM
Insurance coverage in general is just really depressing. I think it'd be hoopy if this shit was affordable without the need for insurance, but, that's a whole different barrel of contentious political land-mines.

I really wonder why it's not covered. But then, I did make note in my plan that hospitalizations are only covered if it's not due to purposeful injury on your part, so I guess they're just denying any stake in it. They lose no money if you try to kill yourself, and nothing more than your monthly fee if you succeed.

Hard to do much to build a sense of purpose and being worthwhile when you have to scrape together enough money just to pay to see a guy who'll give you pills that help you not collapse, shaking and in tears, while you're trying to get work done; all because you thought about the concept of the heat death of the universe or suddenly can't stop thinking about how you're awful and everyone who loves you has made a terrible mistake and you just need to die or something.

Makes it difficult to not feel like a pretty pointless human being, I guess.

FluffyMuffins230
04-05-2014, 01:51 AM
I can't exactly say that I have a professionally diagnosed mental health issue like paranoia or schizophrenia, but I just feel like I have a bunch of things wrong with my brain right now. While I know people may have other opinions on this I just can't shake the feeling of bad thoughts within my head of wanting to harm other people and just do bad, and as a result I know it could send me to the depthps of Hell.

On the other hand at the same tme I feel like I have depression and or that I am bipolar. For the depression I'm not sure if these symptoms are symptoms of it but a lot of the time I feel like I don't want to do anything, I feel like I cannot ever function properly and be as cheery as others, for the last one I keep on feeling like I want to hurt myself and be over with the world. With the bipolar things I just feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, especially with family problems. I know people who are still going through puberty aren't to balanced with hormones but it doesn't feel like it is that.

lorenith
04-05-2014, 12:15 PM
Thoughts of doing bad things or feeling bad are called intrusive thoughts, everyone has them. Yeah one can have them too much (my internal monologue is super abusive for example), but it's not strange or wrong to have them.

You should probably get yourself properly diagnosed or if you can't talk to your school councilor at least, rather than self diagnosing a bunch of things that you may or may not have.

And could you please stop posting in all red with a serifed font? It's extremely difficult to read.

FluffyMuffins230
04-05-2014, 01:56 PM
Thoughts of doing bad things or feeling bad are called intrusive thoughts, everyone has them. Yeah one can have them too much (my internal monologue is super abusive for example), but it's not strange or wrong to have them.

You should probably get yourself properly diagnosed or if you can't talk to your school councilor at least, rather than self diagnosing a bunch of things that you may or may not have.


And could you please stop posting in all red with a serifed font? It's extremely difficult to read.

I sort of assumed people had those kinds of thoughts sometimes but it feels like I have them more than I should. At the same time though it's good that it isn't wrong or strange to have them.

I would do that but it's sort of difficult for me to admit my issues to my parents because they were jump on me about everything and it annoys me. I know parents or any other elders you have are supposed to protect you and be there for you when stuff is bad but I just feel like I can't go to my family and talk about it to them so I can get into counseling or to a doctor.

I hope I don't sound rude but I'm just doing the kind of font and color I like, but I do sometimes admit the color is blinding, but I will stick to my font type and size.

lorenith
04-05-2014, 02:22 PM
You don't need to go through your parents to talk to a school councilor. All you need to do is walk to your councilors office and ask to talk to them. Explain to them your situation, including how uncomfortable you are dealing with your parents on the subject, the councilors will work to help you come to a solution.

FluffyMuffins230
04-05-2014, 11:12 PM
You don't need to go through your parents to talk to a school councilor. All you need to do is walk to your councilors office and ask to talk to them. Explain to them your situation, including how uncomfortable you are dealing with your parents on the subject, the councilors will work to help you come to a solution.

No, no I can't talk to a school counselor, I should've said that previoussly. I take online schooling so that's not an option I'm afraid. Besides that I don't really see any other solution. I know I could just man up and tell them but I hate to be judged about things like that, and plus I'd feel horrible after.

Zinn
04-12-2014, 12:56 AM
I was initially diagnosed in 2008 as having Autism with Psychotic features but a few years later it was revised to just schizophrenia, and have been taking Risperidal since then. Which has helped me immensely but like others have with the dosages I need to change it every so often so it deals with symptoms but doesn't overmedicate me to having lethargy/dehydration but that does feel better than being crippled by paranoia and fear. I've also taken fluoxetine last year for depression which also helped (A few friends have had mixed results; but if fluoxetine didn't help then citalopram seems to helped them more.) I've seen two psychologists but they're split on whether I 'still' have autism or if it was a misdiagnosis and if I have actually have NPD as it's difficult to pick out either when psychosis is usually the predominant reason for coming to a hospital.

Edit: Wish I could help Fluffymuffins but you could maybe try to indirectly talk about mental health issues to work out their attitude prior to opening up, if anything it'd at least make them more prepared for when you do open up.

FluffyMuffins230
04-12-2014, 09:36 PM
I'm sorry to hear that, but at least it was just revised to schizophrenia, but I hope it's not hard for you to deal with. I'm glad that the meicine your taking helps you, and also that it wouldn't dehydrate you or make you lethargic like you stated. Fear and paranoia aren't good things to have, well from what I hear.

Your words have helped me even though your not a doctor or therapist. And I'll try to one of these days, maybe more so when my aunt leaves after staying here a week. But thanks for your words.

Kringg
04-16-2014, 11:31 AM
.

crazyluna
05-02-2014, 02:15 PM
I was diagnosed last year with depression, at the time I was put on medication and was seeing a therapist. After several months I had learned no real way of dealing with it, but my symptoms had become less severe so I was taken off medication. Sometime in September of last year I had a relapse and didn't tell anyone for months till sometime last month. I have been put on medications again and have been given a copping method, a gratitude journal. It has helped me a bit. I have been looking for ways of having long term copping methods to go along with my medication. One of my other problems is anxiety, I become claustrophobic in small crowed spaces and have had brake downs over things that could kill me that is vary unlikely to kill me.

Takai Sakana
05-02-2014, 02:41 PM
Formerly social anxiety from a young age and depression.

Best advice I can give is take care of your mind and body - they are intrinsically linked. It's very difficult, if not impossible, for some people to take care of one if the other isn't healthy. You'd be amazed what clean eating can do for you in terms of mental clarity, motivation and determination.

Toshabi
05-02-2014, 02:56 PM
This thread honestly makes me feel like people use mental disorders as an excuse to not deal with their problems.

Zeitzbach
05-02-2014, 02:59 PM
Everyone has OCD if they like neat stuffs. They have ADHD if they are bored. Also if they do anything wrong, they have autism.

lorenith
05-02-2014, 03:23 PM
This thread honestly makes me feel like people use mental disorders as an excuse to not deal with their problems.

What makes you feel like that? Seems like most people in this thread are trading methods they have learned to help them cope with whatever mental illness they have.

Takai Sakana
05-02-2014, 04:02 PM
Everyone has OCD if they like neat stuffs. They have ADHD if they are bored. Also if they do anything wrong, they have autism.

While I agree that people tend to diagnose themselves with various illnesses for whatever reason (drama, attention, fad, misinformation, etc) and practitioners are often hasty to diagnose such things for whatever reason, people with these problems do exist. If you write everyone off then you miss the ones that really do need help.

Tycho
05-02-2014, 04:04 PM
This thread honestly makes me feel like people use mental disorders as an excuse to not deal with their problems.

Ah yes, the "suck it up" attitude. Are there people that use mental disorder as a way to shirk responsibility? Of course. Just like there are people who use "lol I'm just trolling" as an excuse to shirk responsibility for being genuinely shitty people. In any event, it's hardly fair to tell people with genuine problems to suck it up like the rest of the populace just because there are some fakers.


What makes you feel like that? Seems like most people in this thread are trading methods they have learned to help them cope with whatever mental illness they have.

He feels like that because he's tossing the usual "suck it up" firebrand into the conversation to try and anger people. You know, trolling (that and a genuinely shitty attitude towards the mentally ill).

Vae
05-02-2014, 04:16 PM
I'm slowly getting back to a point where I absolutely need to get back on my pills.
I don't think that sheer power of will and smoking are going to help enough to numb things to where I can do the most basic of shit that I need to do, any more.
It's annoying.

Rory
05-02-2014, 06:40 PM
Hi.

I'd like to step in and make the point that this topic is for the discussion of the concept and experience of mental disorders. It was made evident in the original post that this discussion is being carried out under the shared assumption that these disorders are real.

Let's not start this again. Stay on topic.

Ley
05-05-2014, 11:27 PM
Not getting the above, but..


I've not been taking my prozac the way I should have. I, for whatever reason, freak the hell out when I open the bottle. Then I dont take it, and then a general state of "oh god what now" happens.

I think my doc called it PTSD, but whatever the hell it is it sure sucks.

Berlin Katze
05-06-2014, 10:23 AM
I have moderate clinical depression with suicidial ideas (I used to be a self-harmer) and social anxiety. I also experience mild gender dysphoria (more of an uncomfortable feeling than a full blown depression regarding it...I have no need to transition to be honest). I also tend to feel as if I should be an animal other than a human (I'm a therianthrope but I don't want to go into detail since I don't consider therianthropy to be a mental disorder or illness...feel free to PM me about it) and because of it tend to get depressed over being the wrong species (it's a lot more intense than the gender dysphoria).

Basically a lot of depressive issues with me.

Angellothefox
05-07-2014, 04:22 PM
Autism and lerning difficultys

Fay V
05-08-2014, 01:27 PM
Mod Update

This will be the final warning issued within this thread. Any further instances of off topic posting and blatant low content posting will be infracted and banned from the thread

Any instances of insulting users, flame baiting, unchecked aggression, or behavior which otherwise seeks to demean the users and create a toxic environment of discussion will be banned from the thread and possibly temporarily banned from the forums

This is a topic with serious implications of the lives of individuals involved. Not every user is expected to be fully knowledgeable of all aspects of mental health, but are expected to be respectful of the positions of others. If you disagree with a user, a viewpoint, or other topic point you may calmly and reasonably state your position and reasons why.

For further clarification of what is currently on topic:
-Discussion of Mental Illness faced by the user or those known to the user
-Advice, Possible treatments, adaptations, and other methods of dealing with mental illness
-Advice and otherwise discussion of how to interact with those facing mental illness

Basically overall discussion on those that suffer from mental illness and the day to day processes people go through in association with mental illness.

Please note
Discussion of how mental illness is treated in society, and the merits of current diagnosis, self diagnosis, and public response is a complex and heated issue and may for the purposes of thread integrity require another thread. If you wish to further conversation on this particular topic please start a new thread on the subject.

Torrijos_sama
05-16-2014, 07:25 PM
I have more than a few problems, but I keep everything together because men aren't allowed to cry. Just put some dirt in the wounds and piece everything together because that's what healthy people do. They don't let tiny things get to them, so I can't let it get to me, or other people win. And I want to see that they don't win if that's their intention.

I am a Nice man with Happy feelings. This is what I have realized over the years, so things work a hell of a lot better for me. :3

Infestissumam
05-18-2014, 04:19 AM
For years now I've lacked true passion or the ability to enjoy things like most people can. I love to draw or play video games and things, but oftentimes these activities feel like a chore. I feel more or less bored all the time, and oftentimes negative things generating no negative response from me, nor positive things generating no positive response. I largely lack the ability to care about myself or my life. There is no reason for this, but it's left me feeling empty for such a long time despite whatever I do to attempt to manage it. It's frustrating that I just can't be as happy as other people.

It's even better now that my friends are all graduated. Hanging out with them was at least temporary reprieve from not caring. Now they're gone, and all I do is nothing but go to class, do the work, and sleep. I don't enjoy it. Something tells me I'll end up working some shit job and not enjoy that, either. Then I'll die.

Self-diagnosis or whatever, but I am guessing this is depression.

StripedPan
05-21-2014, 10:14 PM
Re-posting from last month, since I said that I would do a re-cap when I got "officially" diagnosed. I am now diagnosed with depression and anxiety (the psychiatrist didn't say what kind), and I was also taking Zoloft for a short while before waning off of it, as it was making me feel worse.

Good luck to everyone with their issues, too! I hope the best for you!

Gamedog
05-22-2014, 12:10 AM
I have really, really bad memory issues. I'm guessing that it's probably ADHD, but I've always thought it was my PTSD just fucking me over.
Unfortunately, this means I'm just using "excuses" when it comes to forgetting things. I wish I could remember things people tell me; dates, names, birthdays.... shit, even what I ate yesterday.. but it just doesn't work. I am able to remember very key things throughout my life and sometimes even things that aren't important at all. I won't be able to remember what I did in the afternoon a day or so ago, but I am able to remember word-for-word what someone said years ago. I just don't get it, and it's kind of hard to deal with.
I know someone who will tell me "I'm going over to X's house", and I'll ask "who's X?" and they'll get mad because I don't know who X is, and that I should "write it down, because I'm getting tired of telling you". It kind of hurts because I'm trying to remember things, I want to remember things, I want to remember birthdays and names and phone numbers, but I just can't.
Yesterday I checked for mail and had tacos, that's about all I remember.

DivinePrince
05-31-2014, 02:54 AM
Undianosed clinical depression and diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I am absolutely sure about the depression. Even my friend with depression thinks I have it.
The only problem is that my psychologist takes a buttload of time to respond to things and make appointments.

I am a switcher.

One day i may have anxiety all day- become selective-mute, have panic attacks, the next 4 days I will be fine with a few worries here and there, the next few days I suddenly feel sad and unmotivated and helpless, self defeating and tired.

Vae
05-31-2014, 05:01 AM
I am a switcher.

One day i may have anxiety all day- become selective-mute, have panic attacks, the next 4 days I will be fine with a few worries here and there, the next few days I suddenly feel sad and unmotivated and helpless, self defeating and tired.
Are you sure you just don't have bipolar disorder?

battybegins
05-31-2014, 06:17 AM
Yeah I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. It's been a rough couple of years. In retrospect, think I've always had issues with depression, but when I got out of high school my friends were no longer around to support and distract me, and adults weren't around to make sure I got up and did things. I was on my own. For the first time it was sink or swim and I sunk. Deeply.

I flunked out of two full semesters of college. First, I started avoiding everyone, walking a longer path to make sure I stayed away from groups, wolfing down lunch so no one would try to sit with me, spending all my time looking down and doing nothing but listening to music or reading, any mindless activity that required no effort and distracted me.

Then it got worse. First, I stopped going to class. I'd get up in the morning, get dressed, everything and then half way to class, I'd veer around and hide in the library until the day was over.

Then I stopped coming out of my dorm, taking showers, answering my phone, talking to people, even online.... It got steadily worse and worse until I couldn't even manage to get out of bed or eat. I couldn't explain it but everything that I had once enjoyed just didn't make me happy anymore. And nothing anyone said made it better. It was like, I felt that I didn't DESERVE to be happy for some reason. In fact, my brain convinced me that I was born without the ability to be happy.

Eventually I started agressivley hating myself for failing at so many things, and hurting people's feelings. I felt that the money my mother had wasted on my education couldn't be paid back, and I really didn't want to let everyone down. I didn't want to deal with feeling guilty anymore. That drove me to contemplate suicide for the first time. I felt like death was an alternative to admitting to people I failed with "no good reason".

There was another element that developed when the self-hatred started. Hyper-vigilance or paranoia. It's not a disorder on it's own in my case, but a symptom of my severe depressive episodes. When I'm paranoid I start beleiving that God, or some higher power is intentionally trying to get me to kill myself, even though I'm not generally a religious person. I interpret little things that happens as "signs" that it's finally time for me to kill myself. The worse my depression is, the worse my paranoid symptoms get.

Fortunately I did get help. I've been on Lexapro for almost a year now and it's amazing the difference it's made.

Personally, I think everyone's brain chemistry is different. For some people, medication is the best answer, for others it's not. Some people need therapy and nothing else. I don't see why people would think a one-size fits all approach works when it's been proven that everyone's brains are unique.

I have a good friend who is clinically depressed like me, but unlike me her brain refuses to respond to any type of medication. To deal with her suicidal urges, she started undergoing electro-convulsive therapy, and she has actually shown progress with this.

Torrijos_sama
06-01-2014, 12:23 AM
Yeah I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. It's been a rough couple of years. In retrospect, think I've always had issues with depression, but when I got out of high school my friends were no longer around to support and distract me, and adults weren't around to make sure I got up and did things. I was on my own. For the first time it was sink or swim and I sunk. Deeply.

I flunked out of two full semesters of college. First, I started avoiding everyone, walking a longer path to make sure I stayed away from groups, wolfing down lunch so no one would try to sit with me, spending all my time looking down and doing nothing but listening to music or reading, any mindless activity that required no effort and distracted me.

Then it got worse. First, I stopped going to class. I'd get up in the morning, get dressed, everything and then half way to class, I'd veer around and hide in the library until the day was over.

Then I stopped coming out of my dorm, taking showers, answering my phone, talking to people, even online.... It got steadily worse and worse until I couldn't even manage to get out of bed or eat. I couldn't explain it but everything that I had once enjoyed just didn't make me happy anymore. And nothing anyone said made it better. It was like, I felt that I didn't DESERVE to be happy for some reason. In fact, my brain convinced me that I was born without the ability to be happy.

Eventually I started agressivley hating myself for failing at so many things, and hurting people's feelings. I felt that the money my mother had wasted on my education couldn't be paid back, and I really didn't want to let everyone down. I didn't want to deal with feeling guilty anymore. That drove me to contemplate suicide for the first time. I felt like death was an alternative to admitting to people I failed with "no good reason".

There was another element that developed when the self-hatred started. Hyper-vigilance or paranoia. It's not a disorder on it's own in my case, but a symptom of my severe depressive episodes. When I'm paranoid I start beleiving that God, or some higher power is intentionally trying to get me to kill myself, even though I'm not generally a religious person. I interpret little things that happens as "signs" that it's finally time for me to kill myself. The worse my depression is, the worse my paranoid symptoms get.

Fortunately I did get help. I've been on Lexapro for almost a year now and it's amazing the difference it's made.

Personally, I think everyone's brain chemistry is different. For some people, medication is the best answer, for others it's not. Some people need therapy and nothing else. I don't see why people would think a one-size fits all approach works when it's been proven that everyone's brains are unique.

I have a good friend who is clinically depressed like me, but unlike me her brain refuses to respond to any type of medication. To deal with her suicidal urges, she started undergoing electro-convulsive therapy, and she has actually shown progress with this.

Brain chemistry is a wonderful thing to toy with, though. Once I figured out that things were wrong, I started fucking with it back. Definitely adds some drama and some interesting things to life, but it's worth it! :D

Ritty
06-05-2014, 04:45 PM
My username is a hint. Select to reveal answer: Ritty - Ritalin - ADHD!!! yay

Though that's not the medication I currently take (currently on Elvanse/Vyvanse.) It works stupidly well for me; when I'm off it I manage to waste hours doing nothing at all and just completely fail to understand the passing of time, I procrastinate to the point of making myself cry and just generally hating myself.

Sleep is especially tricky with my unmedicated evenings finding it immensely hard to drag myself to bed some nights, but even then, just the act of rising feels like a Herculean trial. I'm convinced I have a sleep disorder in addition to being a flake, so I'm due a sleep study for that one...