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Ben
08-01-2012, 03:34 AM
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Hello everyone! So I'm sure that, as in any society, this board is home to a fair number of LGBT individuals, and it'd be a good idea to have a thread to discuss people's experiences with being LGBT (or any of the other letters that I don't feel like adding over and over, but hey, they're there, you're loved too). This thread can be used for advice and support on coping with coming out, dealing with any discrimination, or depression felt as a result. On the flip side though, this thread is also for talking about happy and positive things relating to the queer community. Our flag isn't a rainbow for nothing!

So, to start: I've personally known that I was queer to some degree since I was twelve years old, and didn't feel comfortable with identifying as such publicly until I was around 17. Despite the fact that I went to an art school in HS, I always felt oddly awkward about admitting my sexuality-- The fact that my parents are gay rights activists only amplifies the weirdness. We even had an out-and-proud gay kid in our Writing classes, who was always a joy to be around, and yet, I always thought I would be judged for coming out for some reason.

The only thing I can chalk it up to is my self-confidence in general being low-- Once I finally started to feel a lot more comfortable with who I am, and less self-loathing, I think I finally gained the ability to be out to my friends.

Alright, that's all you're getting from me for now. Share away, chums!

Kitten
08-01-2012, 09:47 AM
I was a late bloomer, only realizing my sexuality when I was 17 and coming out to everyone online shortly after, then IRL after my 18th birthday. Offline I just say I'm bi for the sake of simplicity, online I call myself pan for the sake of descriptiveness. I still have no clue what's going on with gender stuff with me but it's not something that causes external contention or inward distress, so I don't worry about it. Being queer is p great overall for me since it's something I don't hide and haven't really had anyone denigrate me for it (in any way that wouldn't end with me shouting how much I love dicks).

Judicant
08-01-2012, 09:59 AM
It ain't no thang.

Unless it's someone I really don't like, if someone asks they can know. The secret is no one asks because apparently I don't look or act the part. :P

I came out sometime after I started dating my current boyfriend, and that was because I actually wanted to talk about him sometimes lol. I don't really remember how I came out to my friends at home, really wasn't that big a deal there. I think for the people at college I let loose that I was dating someone and the consequent questions was my coming out (and there were some awesome people there). Also around that time people found out a couple other people we knew were gay and I was just like "you didn't notice... really?".

No one's ever really discriminated me over it, which I know isn't the case everywhere. It's ok, if anyone doesn't I'll just complain to the mayor, and she'll get the butch friends she probably has to WRECK UP THE PLACE. :V

Tiger
08-01-2012, 10:28 AM
OK so I'm not an actual LGBT member but I want to share my experiences in the community, if that's alright.

I'm straight, but in full support of gay rights. All of my friends but one are either bisexual or gay, and I love each and every one of them. I'm also an officer in my school's Gay-Straight Alliance and have been for quite a while. We plan events and fundraisers for different causes and to help the community. We do fundraisers for donations to a local teen shelter, which is a place that allows gay teens that have been kicked out of their houses to have a place to live while they seek to move to a new place (I think I worded that weirdly but hopefully it makes sense). One year we raised them $500 and got the teens winter clothes (Michigan winter can be brutal) and the main high school we connect to also did a clothing drive and they got several massive boxes full of clothes. We also spend volunteer time there helping with the construction of their next building expansion.

We also are working on stopping bullying in high schools. We have a program called S.A.F.E aaaaand I forget what it stands for but basically it's a program that a person will go through to be trained as a "Safe ally". They will be a resource that anyone struggling with their sexuality can go to without being harassed or judge. Safe allies are trained to help and are very dedicated. Since high school is where the worst bullying is, we're hoping to get the high school staff S.A.F.E. trained and be a force to end bullying.

LONG POST IS LONG. So yes, I totally support the LGBT community and love working with the people in it. I have met some of the most wonderful people in it and am very happy about that c:

Sinjo
08-01-2012, 10:49 AM
I was about thirteen when I figured out I had no actual desire to be in a relationship with a girl and that boys were who I was attracted to.

Littlerock
08-01-2012, 11:42 AM
Right, so I really don't belong in this thread, but I thought I was bi for a while, so I guess this fits??? Fuckin' social minorities :c

I thought for the longest time that I should be bi, since I felt the same way about everyone. I knew that I was supposed to get a boyfriend/girlfriend and want to make out with them or something, but the idea never interested me. My friends tried to help, and they'd set me up on dates with people. After trying to date several people it occurred that I actually wasn't feeling anything for anyone; thus having the same feeling towards everyone. That's pretty scary in a society that pretty much demands that you have a significant other; I thought that there was something seriously wrong with me. Perhaps puberty had failed me? Was I a heartless monster that couldn't love? How could I tell my parents that I was a failure as a human being?

It took a few years, but I learned that it was okay to not feel anything, that I wasn't "broken", and that asexuality is a real thing that other people feel too. Such a sense of relief.

obliviousally
08-01-2012, 05:27 PM
Pansexual, myself. GREEDY, I KNOW, OBVIOUSLY. I never was really fussed with labels for my sexuality (and I'm still not, to be honest). In high school, I was more concerned with dumb roleplay and fandoms over dating anyone, but I thought boys and girls were attractive, but relationships were WAY too much work. I ended up involved with, then later dating, my high school best friend who came out as transgender (FtM) a few years ago. We're engaged now, so that's cool.

EDIT: Herp, derp, I originally meant to add how I'm more attracted to ~personality~ than what's in someone's pants, but my after-work brain just fritzed out, I guess.

I've never really had any discrimination issues. My family was cool with it and they're totally supportive of my fiance's transition, which is great for him because his family wasn't as approving or willing to understand.

Larry
08-01-2012, 05:36 PM
I don't

AtomiKamikaze
08-01-2012, 07:05 PM
Never quite felt like a girl, but not as manly as Saxton Hale so not sure where that puts me today. Always thought I was asexual, and I still kind of do since while I do enjoy intimacy, sex is a domain I don't wish to go into. But I'll say pansexual because I don't think there's a label for me out there that makes any sense.

But! Long story short, I do have a girlfriend and I love her to death. Gonna just say a bi-Transwho's celibate. :'D Or something like that. Can't say my family's outright thrilled but they're supportive of our relationship, so I can't really complain!

nakattack
08-01-2012, 09:18 PM
Never quite felt like a girl, but not as manly as Saxton Hale so not sure where that puts me
Haha, that's how I've been feeling as of late.
I do know I like both men and women, but the whole gender thing escapes me.
In most of my relationships I've been the more dominate half, but my relationships are anything goes. lol.

AtomiKamikaze
08-02-2012, 12:37 AM
Haha, that's how I've been feeling as of late.
I do know I like both men and women, but the whole gender thing escapes me.
In most of my relationships I've been the more dominate half, but my relationships are anything goes. lol.

Same here, "gender" and "sexuality" have such confusing definitions nowadays it's hard to label a lot of people in the grey area correctly. I'd place myself in the "butch" category but I'm not planning to join the UFC or anything. Awesome to see I ain't alone! :D

Brace
08-02-2012, 01:06 AM
Token MtF posting, waiting to be removed with extreme prejudice >_>

catwithpen
08-02-2012, 01:14 AM
I don't really talk to people about it, but that's more because I'm very introverted and don't talk to people much, period. But I don't feel the need to hide it either; if anyone wants to know, I'll tell them I'm bi. I think living in a big city helps; there's so much diversity, people are generally cool with things like this.

The one exception is my mother. She takes the bible very literally, and the thing abour "kill all gays" scared me shitless. I'm not sure she would actually go that far, but I wasn't willing to bet my life on it, so I just kept my mouth shut until I got a job, and then moved out the first chance I got.

I have a younger brother. He's 18 now. I can't decide if I should tell him or not. I would like to, but I'm afraid my mother may have poisoned his mind against different sexualities...but I know he disagrees with her on other things, and is generally open minded, so it's possible he's open minded about this too, but I'm not sure, and I don't want to risk alienating him. You know, I didn't even realize I was having this dillema until I started writing. Any suggestions?

Kitten
08-02-2012, 09:15 AM
I have a younger brother. He's 18 now. I can't decide if I should tell him or not. I would like to, but I'm afraid my mother may have poisoned his mind against different sexualities...but I know he disagrees with her on other things, and is generally open minded, so it's possible he's open minded about this too, but I'm not sure, and I don't want to risk alienating him. You know, I didn't even realize I was having this dillema until I started writing. Any suggestions?Bring up recent events regarding the subject (the Chik-Fil-A thing, for instance) to gauge his position real smooth-like. If it seems he's generally accepting and doesn't have his head up his bum about it, tell him with many awkward sibling hugs to seal the deal.

Sinjo
08-02-2012, 09:18 AM
Token MtF posting, waiting to be removed with extreme prejudice >_>

I'm confused.

Removed from the forum?

uglytrolls
08-02-2012, 09:37 AM
Token MtF posting, waiting to be removed with extreme prejudice >_>

yeah im sure youll be removed from an lgbt friendly forum for being trans* i can definitely see that being a thing that happens

TangoDelahunt
08-02-2012, 11:16 AM
Token MtF posting, waiting to be removed with extreme prejudice >_>

Has long as you're nice you won't be removed, hon. *hugs*

Besides, this place doesn't have the trolls and asshats that -other- places have. So I think you'll be okay.

*loves on his pika*

Shane
08-02-2012, 11:47 AM
Token MtF posting, waiting to be removed with extreme prejudice >_>

Can I be the token FtM?

For some strange reason black LGBT individuals are frowned upon even more than other races where I live. It's like such "behaviors" aren't expected of us. So, yeah. I'm a black FtM from Virginia who gets called a dyke despite passing 97% of the time. What's up.

AtomiKamikaze
08-02-2012, 11:50 AM
I am omnisexual, or for better description of my feelings towards others is panromantic. Sexual intercourse, though a part of my hormonal drive, doesn't really interest me most of the time. Echoing what obliviousally has mentioned; I am only interested in another being's personality. Not their sex or gender.

For a while now I have been biased towards other women because their character traits are more engaging for me. However, I have been at war over my reasoning as a lot of men have done wrong by me (relationships or otherwise) and that may have pushed me away from them.

I wish I were asexual to match my dissociation with any gender. I may be female, but I don't feel like I am of either sex.

^THIS^. Thanks for clearing that up!

Shane
08-02-2012, 11:52 AM
Not sure i fit in here, but oh well.
Genderfluid who wish to have a male body here. Won't call myself a transguy, as I feel both male and female, or a mix of both. I just really like the male body, and dislike mine. I don't hate the female body, just don't want one myself :I

Genderfluid is usually considered transgender, I think. Or at least it's generally accepted underneath the "transgender" umbrella.

TangoDelahunt
08-02-2012, 12:09 PM
I'm just plain ol' bisexual. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

Brace
08-02-2012, 12:28 PM
Can I be the token FtM?

For some strange reason black LGBT individuals are frowned upon even more than other races where I live. It's like such "behaviors" aren't expected of us. So, yeah. I'm a black FtM from Virginia who gets called a dyke despite passing 97% of the time. What's up.

Not much, just taking care of school stuff and such, getting ready for the next semester. And yeah, homonationalism is pretty gross, as is black anti-lgbt sentiment. To be fair it seems like every group wants to "other" queers. Christians think LGBT comes from not accepting God, Communists used to (and sometimes still do) think it comes from capitalist profligacy, Asian countries think it comes from western decadence, black people think it's a "white man's disease", etc etc. So pretty much everyone sucks, really. Anyway, how are you?

catwithpen
08-02-2012, 12:54 PM
Bring up recent events regarding the subject (the Chik-Fil-A thing, for instance) to gauge his position real smooth-like. If it seems he's generally accepting and doesn't have his head up his bum about it, tell him with many awkward sibling hugs to seal the deal.

It can be hard to get him to talk about anything other than technology and science fiction, but I'll give it a try. Thanks. And the "many awkward sibling hugs" made me go "awww!" :)

RadioCatastrophe
08-02-2012, 06:36 PM
Hope this thread doesn't turn into the "What's Your Sexuality" on FAF, oh, that thread made me angry, lol. People can't seem to wrap their heads around certain things and concepts making out to believe people are trying to be special snowflakes when we jsut wanna be clear about what we do and don't like.

Anywho, I always felt wear as a kid even in elementary school I felt different. I always hung around boys and dreaded listening to girls chit-chat about boys and hair and nails, I played with dolls and stuff but nothing like house with a mommy and a daddy lol. When I found a friend I could speak with in middle school I started as "What If's" (this was a co-ed school but we were on seperate sides of the campus and only got to inner-mingle during group classes), she never really caught on I don't think she even knows I might've told her though. But, it got to the point where I told people online I was bi since I was interested in both females and males, I found them both arousing in different ways for different reasons and it didn't help when I was in an all girl class for 3yrs only to be thrown into the same thing in HS (as in locker rooms). Soon in high school I looked more into different sexualities and the sort since I was fairly interested in hermaphrodites as well and I found out about pansexuality and then went off from that since it's more of an all around thing but not quite omni, ya know? I like humans, I don't plan on building sexual or intimate love relationships with objects, materials, or animals of other species. Though at this point I feel it's better to stick with bisexual for the sake of the simplistic definition and the 'everyone knows what it means' prefix versus people laughingly thinking I like screwing pans or I think I'm better than people because people think all pansexuals are 'Holier Than Thou' snobs who don't think anyone looks at a persons personality before dating them.

You'd think even people who feel like outsiders would welcome others who feel the same, but you can't look for that anywhere no matter how many people of a group, fandom, or whatever tell you that you can. I learned that from the Furry Fandom, and it makes me sad, but doesn't matter I am what I am and no one can discourage me otherwise, I don't feel special for being more than bisexual I don't feel any more special than anyone else who openly accepts that others might be transgender/sexual.

Aetius
08-02-2012, 06:49 PM
Besides, this place doesn't have the trolls and asshats that -other- places have.


Ive been too lazy these days, I need to work on that ;v

Ratte
08-03-2012, 01:34 AM
Growing up I never really felt like I fit in, socially or otherwise. It took me years to come to each conclusion.

I grew up in a hateful family environment, especially with my dad and his family. I tried really hard to fit their narrow criteria for a "decent person" (Christian, white, straight, etc) but I found, as time went on, I just couldn't keep doing it. After I finally decided to say the hell with it with how my dad's family felt/treated LGBT people, I thought long and hard about what I was. I knew I wasn't straight. I thought I was asexual, but it was a problem driven by fear rather than the lack of attraction. I thought I was a lesbian, but it didn't fit. I thought maybe I was bisexual, but I thought non-binary people were attractive as well. I finally figured out I was pansexual after the last bit.

When I was younger I didn't fit in with girls, but boys were alright. I was never very feminine despite my mother's constant bitching about it and forcing me to do girly things like carry purses and wear girly clothes. I hated it and I wanted out. I thought I was just a tomboy, but then I looked back to how I grew up and realized something else entirely. My dad, probably out of disappointment for never having the boy he wanted, raised me to be one in dress and mannerisms. I wore boys' clothing, collected Hotwheels cars, even wore trunks in the pool until I was about seven. When I got my first period is when everything changed, where my mom was trying to feminize me and my dad expressed his disappointment with how I currently was. I tried to make them happy but I felt more and more dysphoric about it as it continued. I stopped caving in to their wants and focused on myself, and it feels great. I figured out I was trans FtM.

What I don't like, though, is that being open about being pan and trans heavily jeopardized my family and living situation. If I were to be open I would lose the rest of my dad's family, guaranteed (dad already disowned me, lol). Because my mom is resentful about my not being girly I know she'd most likely boot me out of the house with nowhere to go since she is also religious, as is her family. So lol I can't do a thing about any of it until I'm out of school/financially independent. Feels bad, man.

Ratte
08-03-2012, 07:19 AM
My goodness Ratte, that is extremely distressing to read. I hope that you future will be brighter and a lot more good to you. The past will always be there biting at your heels, but once you escape, things should be alright for you.

No worries, I'll be alright.

Eminoxic
08-03-2012, 01:06 PM
I don't fall into the LBGTQRINXAZP (I don't know, the letters always change) category, but just want to say you're all welcomed and loved here. I have cookies, cookies for all of you.

Brynja
08-05-2012, 12:26 AM
I guess you could call me bi. I used to be hetero, but after some major life changes I stopped caring about gender. Male, female, transgender, intersexed - it doesn't matter to me, so long as the individual makes for a good partner.

I haven't told anyone close to me about this. I don't think my family would disown me, but they're the type to gossip. My mother says she supports LGBT rights, but she mocks the gay people she knows, or who she thinks is gay. She said she could no longer take Michelle Rodriguez seriously after hearing that she was a lesbian (Note: I don't follow celebrities, so this could just be more gossip).

No clue what I'd do if I got a girlfriend.

Brace
08-05-2012, 09:40 AM
She's apparently not a lesbian. 10 seconds in google establishes that to within reasonable standards.

catwithpen
08-05-2012, 11:32 AM
She's apparently not a lesbian. 10 seconds in google establishes that to within reasonable standards.

Who?

Unburnt Daenerys
08-05-2012, 01:25 PM
Asexual reporting in. I've seen some really nasty hate towards asexuals (mostly on Tumblr) so hopefully this space is a little friendlier.

Anyway, growing up I was never attracted to girls, so I thought I must be straight. Turns out I was never really attracted to boys either, and I finally found out a couple of years ago that there is a word for that besides "broken."

Littlerock
08-05-2012, 01:55 PM
I finally found out a couple of years ago that there is a word for that besides "broken."
I wish so dearly that this was taught in schools. Public school sex-ed does not at all cover asexuality, so it's rough growing up around horny teens thinking that there's something wrong with you D:

I have a feel for you man.

FishNChips
08-05-2012, 02:42 PM
For most of my life, I figured I was straight.

Then for a while I thought I was bi. Then gay. Then bi again.

I'm not sure how to think or feel about it. I do not know what it is that I want. Because of this, I've worried about me falling for others and then having a change of heart whilst with them.

I don't think I'm really made for serious relationships. At least, not yet. For now I'm content with friendships, old and new, until someone comes along again, where we become even closer friends where it becomes evident that to me, they are special, to a point where I feel very certain about my feelings, where I decide to just go with what I'm feeling and see where it leads. They could be male, female, or somewhere in-between. I just have to find out who they are.

But then they end up as becoming a destroyed friendship, or one that is difficult to build back up again, hence why I'm scared to fall in love with anybody. Yet I want to love someone and have them love me.

I'm the conflicted type.

obliviousally
08-05-2012, 03:36 PM
She said she could no longer take Michelle Rodriguez seriously after hearing that she was a lesbian (Note: I don't follow celebrities, so this could just be more gossip).

She's not a lesbian herself, but she seems to have a large lesbian following. I know there's always been a lot of rumors about her sexuality, because she often plays 'butch' characters and is a bit abrasive herself, but that's likely the media and viewers falling into the 'tomboy = lesbian' thing.

If she did fall into the LGBT spectrum, I have the feeling she'd be bisexual. But that's just personal opinion. :O

Viergacht
11-10-2012, 11:01 PM
Virginia seems to be pretty conservative and queer-unfriendly, at least the parts of it I'm familiar with (northern areas, mostly).

Kexx
11-15-2012, 05:05 PM
Yo. Pansexual and genderfluid here. I came from a small town and always identified as a bisexual until I came to college and learned about differing genders and pansexuality so I figured that fit better. I was always out to my friends, but never my family. Last year or so I was thinking about transitioning (and then learned I had a transphobic BF YAY) but never really talked about it. The problem was I still felt decently female sometimes or rather wanted to be able to switch back and forth? So instead I found that genderfluid sort of fit me better. I am just now coming out about being genderfluid to my friends and still am not out at all to my family. :/

I'm pretty afraid to come out to my family cause they seem a bit homophobic in general. Atm I have half of my head shaved and my family was like, "Oh you should just shave it all off!" And my mom got angry and said "No she'll look like a dyke." and she's pissed that I don't shave my legs anymore and such. She's always hated that I try and wear men's clothes so whenever I shop with her it's been annoying cause she won't let me go to the Men's section. Now that I live on my own I can finally start buying the clothes I like. My brother has also called me a dyke a couple times...Eventually I'd like to shave all my hair off (I dig the half shaved look and don't wanna lose financial support from my mom) and get a chest binder so on days I feel masculine I can appear so and on days I'm feminine I can show it. Only recently has it occurred to me about bathroom situations on days I feel/look really masculine (hopefully I don't freak anyone out too much <__>). Pronouns sort of don't matter to me he, she, or they all work for me and since how I feel can change day to day I don't care/expect people to keep up with which one I prefer at the time.

Also thought about starting up a lesbianfurs group like the one on FA, but the group system really isn't implemented yet so until then there's not much point I guess? If anyone's interested feel free to send me a message.

RadioCatastrophe
11-16-2012, 02:05 PM
I always questioned myself when I was younger even in elementary school, didn't know anything about sexuality at that time aside from "gay" and whenever that word was uttered it was always in a bad sense. When I started middle school my mom decided to get our house internet (so trippy!) and I found a chat site about anime, had no idea it was for roleplaying so I had a lot of different experiences first off, anyways, during my teen years I decided to start calling myself bi. I liked both boys and girls (and anything in between, @w@ futas~), didn't know herms existed or even that there was more than 3 sexualities, ohmuhgawd so much information for my tiny teen mind. When I started to come out to my friends, a one of my boyfriends I came out to told me there was no way I could bisexual since I never kissed of laid with another female, I mean since ya know he was bi he had to know all the secret club rules right?

Much later 16~17 I believe I found out about LGBT and different sexualities and learned about pansexuality, I thought that fit be best since I'm pretty open about whoever I date, I mean I can be shallow but I don't care if you're a mix -n- match Mr/Mrs Potato head. After getting over looks I get attached to personality and how someone treats me, and yeah yeah I'm a special snowflake cause all pansexuals just wanna be special and only get with people for personality and no other sexuality does. Anywho, I read a bit of what Kexx said about being genderfluid, dunno if that's what I call myself but an old friend of mine gave me a "guys name" because I "act" like a guy alot (with how I act towards women? I dunno), but she/he is something that gets thrown around a lot with me people guessing if I'm really female (cause everyone knows girls aren't allowed on the internet), it all makes me wish I was a herm so I could openly say "I'm both" I guess? I dunno, I wish I had a dong is the moral of the story. :I

Ratte
11-16-2012, 02:49 PM
The thing about pansexuality that people seem to forget is that it doesn't mean pansexuals don't have standards when people say "hearts not parts" and it also doesn't just mean that someone is "a bisexual who wants to feel special," as I've heard many put it. Pansexuals can be/are attracted to those outside of the gender binary, so not just cismales and cisfemales, but also transpeople, agender people, list goes on. It's more about just being "gender blind" as some like to call it, where a person's gender is not really a factor in what you'd find attractive, but their looks and personality are considered (standards are still a thing). Typically bisexuals are only attracted to cismales and cisfemales, not those outside of the binary, so it really bugs me when people go, "Oh, you're pansexual? Don't you mean bisexual?" No, no I don't.

I've seriously basically been told a couple times now that as a pansexual I don't exist, and that as a transman I need to "not pretend and not give a fuck what people think" or to "make a joke out of it" and that, in response to there being LGBT violence in my college, "there's also violence against straights too." God just thinking about this pisses me off.

RadioCatastrophe
11-16-2012, 05:46 PM
The thing about pansexuality that people seem to forget is that it doesn't mean pansexuals don't have standards when people say "hearts not parts" and it also doesn't just mean that someone is "a bisexual who wants to feel special," as I've heard many put it. Pansexuals can be/are attracted to those outside of the gender binary, so not just cismales and cisfemales, but also transpeople, agender people, list goes on. It's more about just being "gender blind" as some like to call it, where a person's gender is not really a factor in what you'd find attractive, but their looks and personality are considered (standards are still a thing). Typically bisexuals are only attracted to cismales and cisfemales, not those outside of the binary, so it really bugs me when people go, "Oh, you're pansexual? Don't you mean bisexual?" No, no I don't.

I've seriously basically been told a couple times now that as a pansexual I don't exist, and that as a transman I need to "not pretend and not give a fuck what people think" or to "make a joke out of it" and that, in response to there being LGBT violence in my college, "there's also violence against straights too." God just thinking about this pisses me off.

FAF, the original sexuality poll thread. Got me so boiled, if I seriously wanted to be some special snoflake why would I show it through sexuality? Lol.

Ratte
11-16-2012, 09:48 PM
FAF, the original sexuality poll thread. Got me so boiled, if I seriously wanted to be some special snoflake why would I show it through sexuality? Lol.

I can personally vouch for FAF being a terrible place unless they've miraculously changed over the past two years or so. Anyway, this isn't about them. The thing is that, about being pan, I see this attitude EVERYWHERE. I actually see it more than flak against bisexuals and asexuals (I don't like seeing either one though).

I'm 20 years old, ffs. I don't care about being some kind of special snowflake, I care about being able to be me, and yes, some things have labels or names to them. It's not about trying to be different or be cool, this isn't eighth grade where being "bisexual but ew girls" is the thing. It's not about being trans for attention. It's not about trying to find something to separate myself from ~other people~. I really wish more people got that through their thick skulls, because when you're told you don't exist or that you should just make a joke out of WHO YOU ARE that is INCREDIBLY hurtful, and I hope people really learn and accept that someday.

Kodyack
11-18-2012, 12:23 AM
I always thought I was pretty straight, I liked girls a bunch and didn't enjoy any guys at all. Then I met a guy I really liked. We hung out a bunch and we shared a lot of the same interests. I sorta fell into discovering my bisexuality from there.

PapayaShark
11-18-2012, 01:32 PM
I always questioned myself when I was younger even in elementary school, didn't know anything about sexuality at that time aside from "gay" and whenever that word was uttered it was always in a bad sense. When I started middle school my mom decided to get our house internet (so trippy!) and I found a chat site about anime, had no idea it was for roleplaying so I had a lot of different experiences first off, anyways, during my teen years I decided to start calling myself bi. I liked both boys and girls (and anything in between, @w@ futas~), didn't know herms existed or even that there was more than 3 sexualities, ohmuhgawd so much information for my tiny teen mind. When I started to come out to my friends, a one of my boyfriends I came out to told me there was no way I could bisexual since I never kissed of laid with another female, I mean since ya know he was bi he had to know all the secret club rules right?

Much later 16~17 I believe I found out about LGBT and different sexualities and learned about pansexuality, I thought that fit be best since I'm pretty open about whoever I date, I mean I can be shallow but I don't care if you're a mix -n- match Mr/Mrs Potato head. After getting over looks I get attached to personality and how someone treats me, and yeah yeah I'm a special snowflake cause all pansexuals just wanna be special and only get with people for personality and no other sexuality does. Anywho, I read a bit of what Kexx said about being genderfluid, dunno if that's what I call myself but an old friend of mine gave me a "guys name" because I "act" like a guy alot (with how I act towards women? I dunno), but she/he is something that gets thrown around a lot with me people guessing if I'm really female (cause everyone knows girls aren't allowed on the internet), it all makes me wish I was a herm so I could openly say "I'm both" I guess? I dunno, I wish I had a dong is the moral of the story. :I

Remember that "herm" is a really offensive word to call intersexed people. Same with hermaphrodite. Herms/hermaphrodites(both fully functioning male and female sex organs) doesn't really exist in real life either.

So if you don't like that people make fun of pansexuals, please don't use words like herm about real people. And not futa either.

Thistle
11-18-2012, 02:01 PM
Remember that "herm" is a really offensive word to call intersexed people. Same with hermaphrodite. Herms/hermaphrodites(both fully functioning male and female sex organs) doesn't really exist in real life either.

So if you don't like that people make fun of pansexuals, please don't use words like herm about real people. And not futa either.

Thumbs-up for this comment.

"Cunt-boy/boi" and "dickgirl" are also really sketchy terms, since they reduce intersexed or trans* people down to their genitals. I don't recall seeing it in this thread, but I've seen them tossed around way too many times elsewhere.

RadioCatastrophe
11-18-2012, 02:24 PM
Remember that "herm" is a really offensive word to call intersexed people. Same with hermaphrodite. Herms/hermaphrodites(both fully functioning male and female sex organs) doesn't really exist in real life either.

So if you don't like that people make fun of pansexuals, please don't use words like herm about real people. And not futa either.

Futanari is the japanese term for hermaphrodites (and also is something fictional when it comes to anime/porn; e.g. girl magically growing a dick), and the term is a scientific term (out-dated or not) as well. I know that intersexed is the new way and a less "offensive" way of saying it and not all but SOME have an issue with being called a herm, I have a friend who has no issue with the term. I'm not making fun of them when using the term, like people do with pansexual. If someone feels either term is offensive to them I'm sure they'll stick up for themselves but I've never had someone confront me about it.


I really don't see how using a term that was the scientific and correct term before intersex can compare to someone saying you don't exist because you identify as pansexual or that you just want to be a snowflake.

Thistle
11-18-2012, 02:32 PM
I really don't see how using a term that was the scientific and correct term before intersex can compare to someone saying you don't exist because you identify as pansexual or that you just want to be a snowflake.

The problem there is that several extremely nasty (and inaccurate) terms for people of different races, genders, cultures, etc. were once considered "scientifically accurate." If some intersex people want to reclaim it or aren't offended by it, that's cool, but that unfortuantely doesn't change the implications/misinformation behind it (http://www.isna.org/faq/hermaphrodite).

RadioCatastrophe
11-18-2012, 05:43 PM
The problem there is that several extremely nasty (and inaccurate) terms for people of different races, genders, cultures, etc. were once considered "scientifically accurate." If some intersex people want to reclaim it or aren't offended by it, that's cool, but that unfortuantely doesn't change the implications/misinformation behind it (http://www.isna.org/faq/hermaphrodite).

Yes I've read that snippet before, but that still doesn't clarify how a term that offends can be compared to someone belonging to a sexuality and being that they are just a special snowflake. I get it that the term offends people, it doesn't offend everyone who can actually call themselves intersexed it's not like pansexual are out to gain a new term that feels less offensive and more comfortable to be called. Either way I'm dropping this as I had no intentions of picking a fight or starting one.

Rsyk
11-19-2012, 01:45 AM
"Cunt-boy/boi" and "dickgirl" are also really sketchy terms, since they reduce intersexed or trans* people down to their genitals. I don't recall seeing it in this thread, but I've seen them tossed around way too many times elsewhere.
I've only seen this in a pornographic context, where it applies to a specific aesthetic as opposed to, y'know, real people.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone use those terms to actually refer to another person.

DormatoryMoss
12-14-2012, 03:07 PM
'Sup? FtM here! How's it goin'?

Not sure to whom I'm attracted, but with the aforementioned quality, I think I still fit in here.

Eminoxic
12-18-2012, 01:48 PM
'Sup? FtM here! How's it goin'?

Not sure to whom I'm attracted, but with the aforementioned quality, I think I still fit in here.

I still don't understand FtM. As a Male, I can only wonder why someone would want to be 1! Males are sweaty, and stinky. Explain to me!

RadioCatastrophe
12-19-2012, 12:51 AM
Men have their desired qualities too :D
Such as just the mentality that they are "superior", "stronger", "the bread winner"; there's also the envy of certain body parts, and for a lot of people it just feels right. I wouldn't be surprised if there were people out there who also enjoyed the aspect of being hairy and not having to worry too much on appearance and "cleanliness" when around their same sex.

A close friend of mine is (a) transgender considering surgery in the far future when science has progressed enough to make it worthwhile (he explains it as males having all the right parts to become female seeing as how all infants start out as female but the same does not work visa versa) he also dislikes the female form in the fact that he likes to rough house but knowing his partner has to be caution to not hurt him makes it a bit unbearable to be trapped and feel weak when he feels he could easily overpower his partner. Personally I'd just go mid way, as lovely as being male sounds in theory I don't think I'd be able to stand it for too long, there's things I don't like about being female but I can handle dealing with them so I don't give up what I love about it.

HiddenCinnamon
12-19-2012, 01:34 PM
I'm as confused as a ...really confused thing right now about where I'm going, but I think I'll probably go androgynous or even M to F at one point. I can't really stand being fully male, but I don't know. I'm still young, so it'll be fun to see how things turn out.

MarcusStarkiller
06-11-2013, 07:02 PM
I myself have been bisexual since 2006-2007. I am turning 27 in 11 days (June 22nd). And being Lutheran, my parents and family are uneasy with my sexuality. I just hope I can find somebody who with love me for who I am.

Brace
06-18-2013, 09:04 PM
I made it through pride weekend without killing a single person.

MarcusStarkiller
06-20-2013, 06:49 PM
I made it through pride weekend without killing a single person.

Good for you. I intend to go to Pride Fest next year in Milwaukee, WI. It will be my first time going to such an event.

KumatoraKazooie
08-30-2013, 11:32 AM
I'm not sure of the actual definition but for simplicity I'll probably go with Asexual because I'm not attracted sexually by neither males or females in general, the thought of sexual intercourse grosses me out and I hate getting kissed. However, it may be related to my Asperger's Syndrome but I'm not sure...

saoren
09-04-2013, 01:44 PM
so im gay. i suppose i never really had an issue with it just due to my personality

gender is somewhat harder to explain. you could say male but not as it would typically be thought of and not very static. basically im in some ways very feminine but perhaps not in the way one would expect. perhaps in a more so elegant or refined sense. i wouldnt call myself flamboyant as en example. perhaps androgynous leaning towards feminine.

Neon Poi
09-05-2013, 10:34 PM
Due to intimacy issues, I have no consistent ability to feel sexual attraction. On the rare moments where I do have a sex drive, I am solidly bisexual. So I guess asexual is a more comfortable term for me. One day, I hope I will overcome these issues. I have no real attachment to gender as a category. I see myself as having a mixture of both masculine and feminine qualities. I'm pretty weird.

Fibriel Solaer
10-19-2013, 07:05 PM
Considering that of the terms I am familiar with, I am closest to "pansexual", I find it ironic that I am not particularly fond of LGBT as a movement or community.

I myself don't identify as much of anything, because the names mean something different to everyone who hears them and I avoid them wherever plausible.






Futanari is the japanese term for hermaphrodites (and also is something fictional when it comes to anime/porn; e.g. girl magically growing a dick), and the term is a scientific term (out-dated or not) as well. I know that intersexed is the new way and a less "offensive" way of saying it and not all but SOME have an issue with being called a herm, I have a friend who has no issue with the term. I'm not making fun of them when using the term, like people do with pansexual. If someone feels either term is offensive to them I'm sure they'll stick up for themselves but I've never had someone confront me about it.


I really don't see how using a term that was the scientific and correct term before intersex can compare to someone saying you don't exist because you identify as pansexual or that you just want to be a snowflake.

I would remind you that humorism was considered scientific and correct for quite some time and was phased out when we discovered we were horribly, horribly wrong.



Futanari literally translated should mean "hermaphrodite" as it means "two form", however in its common usage it refers to a specific kind of hermaphrodite or intersex, depending on your perspective. (Hermaphrodite and intersex are not the same thing.)

A proper futanari has a penis and vagina but no external testicles. This is only a hermaphrodite if there are internal testes. Otherwise, it is an intersex.

A hermaphrodite, derived from the fusion of Hermes and Aphrodite in mythology, is an individual of a binary-sexed species that may function as either sex, which means all sexual organs must be present in a vaguely functional capacity. There is no such thing as a human hermaphrodite, and this is why the term was phased out of usage - it was blatantly incorrect.

Hermaphroditism is defined by an examination of form - if both sets of genitals are somewhat recognizable, that's a hermaphrodite. Intersex is considerably more scientific and biological than that. Intersex may have ambiguous genitalia or they may have alternative sex chromosomes (e.g. an extra X chromosome). This is why some claim that "every" human on Earth is an intersex, as people can carry sex chromosome variations but do not exhibit any obvious sexual ambiguity, similarly to some genetic disorders that skip a generation.